New Year's Resolutions

1. Get pregnant.
2. Lose 10 pounds
3. Exercise more frequently.
4. Eat less.
5. Eat more healthful choices.
6. Resume doing yoga.
7. Finish books that I begin reading.

Struggling to Keep Blogging

My enthusiasm for blogging seems to have flagged. My posts are so infrequent that I wonder if anyone bothers to stop by any more. Truthfully, I briefly forgot about my blog--as in totally forgot that I even have one! I wonder if I should continue or just let it die. Has anyone else faced this? Did you get re-inspired? If so, how?

It seems as though nothing too exciting has happened and I don't have a lot to say.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas 2006


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope this letter finds all of you happy and well.

2006 was a good year for our family. One major event was the July sale of Daryl’s company, XXXXXXs, to Gore, (maker of Gore-tex) a Fortune 500 biotechnology company located in Flagstaff, Arizona. He continues to teach and do research as a Professor at the University of Michigan and to perform as CEO at his other company, XXXXX.

We have embarked on a major home renovation and addition project. Many months were spent on the planning and design phase with the architects. Currently we are completing the bidding process, which will result in both a final budget and the selection of a contractor to complete the work.

Our family did some traveling this year. We spent almost 2 weeks traveling 1000 miles through Ontario and Quebec provinces. We spent a week in a Baie St. Paul, a small town in eastern Quebec, north of Maine. Since none of us speak French, and most Quebecois do not speak English, it was an interesting and sometimes frustrating experience. The region boasts amazing scenery, both mountainous and water oriented. Located on the St. Lawrence seaway, we were able to go whale watching and sea kayaking as well as hiking, bicycling and horseback riding.

In November we spent a week in Chicago having a city vacation where we enjoyed museums, shopping and a performance by the Blue Man Group. We celebrated Thanksgiving with Paula’s aunt, who lives in Chicago.

We will be traveling to Phoenix on Christmas day. We plan to enjoy time with old friends, some hiking and sightseeing, and the sunshine.

D. is in the 9th grade this year. In September he was confirmed in the Catholic churh, which was a proud moment for all of us. He played running back and corner back on the football team. Although the team didn’t have a winning season, Dillon scored numerous touchdowns and was a vital member of the defense. He is currently playing basketball.

J.’s soccer career ended this year when her team disbanded, so she has taken up horseback riding as her new sport. She also continues to play both the piano and flute. She is in 7th grade and is an excellent student. This past summer she attended Inkstains, a creative writing camp at Eastern Michigan University.

L. is now our lone soccer player, and he is both dedicated to his sport and a talented player. He is in the 5th grade, and doing extremely well in school. He has just begun playing the clarinet and continues to play the piano.

I. has also begun horseback riding lessons and she is passionate about both horses and riding. She is in the 4th grade. She continues to play the piano and to fill her role as our household fashionista.

T. has really blossomed in the past year. She is handling the transition from half day kindergarten to full day first grade extremely well. She has gained a lot of self-confidence and maturity. She is a real math whiz and enjoys doing math problems just for fun. She is now reading well enough that she can read a book on her own.
,
K. is enjoying being at home with his mom and little sister. Astute and observant, he has a terrific vocabulary ,and we are often amazed by the things he has to say. He loves to be outdoors, enjoys playing with dinosaurs and helping with cooking.

A. has gone through a tremendous transformation in the past year, from a baby with few opinions of her own to an extremely particular little girl who is not shy about sharing her feelings. To say that she loves reading would be a huge understatement. Her adoration for books is so great that we have dubbed her “the librarian.”

After several months of watching Isabel and Jasmine with envy, Paula has also taken up horseback riding, and is enjoying the challenges of a new sport. She continues to be a member of a women’s book club, and continues with running as her primary fitness activity.

We hope you all had a terrific year and a blessed holiday season. We wish many more blessings upon you for the New Year!

A great way to contact Paula is email: pxxxx@xxxx. I look forward to hearing from you!


Love,

Paula, Daryl, D., J., L., I., T., K. and A.

What's Up?

You may be wanting to ask this of me, wondering why my posts are so infrequent. My time is being consumed by 2 things, primarily: 1) unsuccesful attempts to get pregnant and all of the obsessing involved, including recent visits to a reproductive endocrinologist to determine if there is something actually physically amiss (results aren't in on that one yet), and beginning tomorrow, visits to the acupuncturist in the hopes he knows something that western medicine does not. 2) the previously alluded to home renovation project.

I will attempt to briefly describe the house as it is. I live in a home built in 1862 with an addition put on in 1975. The house has no garage and 1.5 bathrooms (used by 9 people) and 4 real bedrooms, only one of which has a closet. Additionally, 3 of those bedrooms have adjoining rooms which could be used as bedrooms but would be walk-throughs. One of those adjoining rooms is being used as a tiny bedroom--the 3 girls have a suite, with the 2 oldest together and the younger one in the little room. Another of those adjoining rooms is being used by Daryl as an office. The third adjoining room connects to my bedroom, and it is being used as a combination closet and bedroom for A. 3 of the bedrooms are upstairs but there are no upstairs bathrooms. The upstairs bedrooms sport funky shag and dated wallpaper. The front porch on our house is literally falling off. We have a laundry room that is only big enough for a washer and dryer, no folding area or storage for clothes. The kitchen/family room is dark year round, requiring the lights on at all times. I park outdoors and carry groceries, babies, etc. up a small hill.

The renovation involves: Adding 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms upstairs, including a master bedroom, and putting a murphy bed/nightstand unit in the little room that adjoins the downstairs bedroom, which will become a guest suite. Some of these bedrooms will be located in an addition which will include a garage, new laundry room and mudroom, and a finished basement. The downstairs family room, which has large beams in the ceiling, will have the ceiling opened up to the 2nd story with only the beams remaining for a vaulted ceiling with skylights. The kitchen will be renovated to include additional cabinets, a 2nd dishwasher and a 2nd refrigerator/freezer. The old part of the house will receive cosmetic improvements as needed, like paint and flooring.

We spent July-Sept. working on the design with architects. Oct.-Nov. has involved selecting a builder/contractor. We are reviewing bids and hopefully we will have one by next week. We bid out some of the outdoor work separately, which began the week before Thanksgiving. This included removing the nonfunctional swimming pool and deck, clearing brush and rocks, removing and rebuilding the front porch, and sealing the old basement, which leaked, from the inside and outside.

Once the project is in full swing we will need to move out for 5-6 months, so I am currently looking at rental houses.

In other news, we spent Thanksgiving week in Chicago, visiting Windy City attractions like the Science and Industry Museum and the Shedd Aquarium. We also visited friends and saw the parade of lights on the Magnificent Mile. Two birthdays happened while we were there. L. turned 11 and chose to go ice skating outdoors in Millenium Park and to the top of the Hancock building. A. turned 2 while we were there, but we celebrated her birthday when we got home. She was very clingy and attached during the entire week. She is the only one of 7 children who refuses to: ride in the backpack AND ride in the stroller AND ride in the sling AND walk. She only wants to be carried, and only mama will do. Mama's arms get very tired.

We spent Thanksgiving Day with my aunt who lives in Chicago and my parents, who drove in for the holiday.

So that's what I've been up to!

Love Thursday

Love Thursday, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Need I say more? My oldest and youngest.

How Did We Get Here?

Mothers of large families are often asked: Were you always in total agreement with your husbands about family size? Did either of you need convincing or change your minds? Was it a gradual process or did you always know you wanted more?

The short answer to that question, the reply I give to nosy strangers, is that once we began having children, each one was so special that it made us want to have another.

The extended version is:

When we married, we had agreed that we would have children; at least two, maybe four. After we had our first, I was hooked. Daryl was pretty excited, too. We welcomed a second and a third in quick succession. At this point we were planning to put a larger gap between the third and fourth. The first 3 children are each 21 months apart and the second and third were both difficult toddlers. However, as it happened, our fourth child was born 21 months after the third! While I was pregnant with her, Daryl became convinced we needed a Suburban, instead of the minivan that we owned at that time. I felt that a Suburban was expensive and not really necessary. We could afford it, however, and I agreed on the condition that I was entitled to any one thing I should want in the future, including another child! Daryl readily agreed to this. I got pregnant in late May and miscarried in early July, at 7 weeks along. I was devastated, but fortunate in that the miscarriage was physically easy. I didn't suffer intense cramping or excessive bleeding, and didn't require any medical attention. I felt healthy immediately after it was over, and we tried again the next month. Our youngest was now almost 2 when we conceived our fifth child.

At this point people started to say things to us. We had 2 boys and 2 girls, which while larger than average, was regarded as a cute bigger family. When we went from 4 to 5 children was when we became a curiousity in the public eye. Particularly because we had "2 of each," as though they were matched salt and pepper shakers, people couldn't fathom our wanting another child.

When our fifth child was 16 months old, we moved across the country to Michigan. Although this was a long desired change, our lives were pretty shaken up by the experience. I wanted to have another, but Daryl insisted we wait until things settled down. After we'd been in Michigan for a year, he agreed that we were ready, and it wasn't long before I was pregnant with our sixth child. Once he was born, Daryl felt that he was done, and proceeded to proclaim that rather loudly. This was painful for me, since I knew I wanted to welcome another child into our lives. When our sixth child was 8 months old, I put my feelings in writing and gave Daryl the letter to read while away on business. I felt (and still feel) that we were handling the number of children we had well, and that God had blessed us in so many ways that we should be open to receiving another blessing from him. He returned home and readily agreed to have another child. I got pregnant immediately, much to our delight.

Our baby is now almost 2, and we are hoping and praying that God blesses us with another.

Have you Ever?

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Courtesy of Mopsy at Lifenut (see link in Sidebar)

Trick or Treat

IMG_1603, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here they are, from left: Fireman, vampiress, hippie (?), soccer ball, medieval queen. Not pictured are D. (14) who did not go this year, and A. (23 months) who went as herself, an obstinate almost 2 year old who refused to wear a costume or pose for a picture. A. rode in the wagon but wouldn't go to the door. After about 30 minutes she wanted to be carried, so I took her to the van and we caught up to the others. By then K. was done, so he got in and we ate animal crackers and read books while the older 4 went on for another 30 minutes. It was cold, 43F and windy.

I wasn't in the Halloween mood this year. We didn't have a party, although we hung our decorations, and we didn't purchase or carve any pumpkins. No one comes to our house due to our set back location on a busy road, so no one ever sees the pumpkins anyway, and sometimes it just strikes me as a waste of time, money and energy, not to mention the mess it makes. Do I sound like Scrooge?

The kids did have the costumes they wanted, however, and face it--Halloween is all about the costumes and the candy. L. wanted to be a soccer ball, and we found a rubber mask but failed to order it in time, so had to come up with our own design, which was a real soccer ball cut in half with eye and mouth holes, attached to a black ski mask, combined with a white t-shirt with a soccer ball pattern drawn on it with black fabric marker. He wanted to win the most original costume award in his class, and he did! (Pat me on the back for that idea!) J. waited until the last minute to decide what to be, so those 2 costumes involved visiting 4 stores on Oct. 30.

What Flower Are You?

I am a Snapdragon What Flower Are You?

"Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."

Feeling Blue

Another month has passed and I am not pregnant. Try as I may to not let it bother me, it is. On the day I took a pregnancy test, only to have it come out negative, I sat down at the computer after doing the test and opened an email from a friend with pictures of their brand new baby. Later in the week another friend gave birth. I am thrilled for these couples, yet it was hard to hear, especially since I'd always thought that by the time they had their babies, I would be pregnant.

Last weekend Daryl shared his disappointment with me, which helped tremendously. I knew he would be happy to have another child, but didn't know that he wanted it enough to feel disappointed that I wasn't pregnant. So I went through the rest of the week feeling somewhat better until today, when my brother-in-law called to announce his wife's surprise pregnancy. Again, I am very happy for them, but still, I cried after I hung up the phone. Had I gotten pregnant this month we would have been due within a week of one another.

And I am struggling with guilt as well. I have close friends and family that are struggling with serious illness, financial crises, and crumbling marriages right now, while everything in my life is going smoothly and happily. I have been blessed in SO many ways, that I have nothing to complain about. I had a well meaning friend point out to me that even if I never get pregnant again, I should consider myself very lucky. I have 7 beautiful healthy children, a husband who loves me, financial security, and my health. I KNOW this, but all of the logic in the world doesn't seem to help change my feelings of sadness. Feelings are feelings, not based on facts.

I guess I'll just keep on hoping. Maybe that new nephew or niece will have a cousin only a few months younger.

Praise the Lord!

Yesterday I got terrific news. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer several weeks ago. She is 40 years old and has a husband and 2 young children. She a beautiful woman both inside and out. She is very sweet, a terrific cook, loving wife and mother, great friend, keeps a spotless house, and is really ravishing. She had 2 lymph node biopsies to determine if the cancer had spread. Yesterday the 2nd biopsy came back negative, meaning the cancer has not spread! She will be having surgery to remove her breast soon, so I will be keeping her in my prayers.

A Perfect Day

Fall was at its most glorious last week, and on Friday, Daryl and I had an appointment with John Allegretti, the architect who is designing our home renovation/addition. His office is located in St. Joseph, Michigan, on the west coast of the state, right on Lake Michigan, which is a 2+ hour drive away. It was a beautiful day for a drive, and I had arranged child care for the entire day. We talked and talked. After our meeting, which took about 3 hours (basically until we were stuptefied and could not have made another decision!) we found a small but authentic Mexican place for lunch. We love Mexican food and it's hard to get good Mexican in Michigan. St. Joseph has a great downtown, so we walked slowly back to the car, browsing shops. All the way home we listened to the radio which was playing songs from the 70s and early 80s, basically our highschool and early college days, which was fun. The entire drive was lined with trees in radiant colors, and as early evening approached, the full harvest moon rose. It was spectacular, and right in front of us as we watched it for the next hour.

When we arrived at home, the kids were happy and the house was clean. We quickly changed clothes and I put A. to bed, and then we headed off to a wedding reception for my old college roommate that I was reunited with last winter. She got married this summer out of state, a small family wedding, and was having a reception to celebrate her wedding at a nice bar/restaurant. She married a man who is the head of the local branch of a large corporation. Her husband is extremely well known and well connected in Ann Arbor, so we met a lot of interesting, well-heeled people at the party, including the mayor of Ann Arbor, the mayor's wife who is a professional pianist, the director of the University Musical Society, the director of the Michigan Theater, the principal flautist for the Ann Arbor Symphony, etc.

We returned home around 11:30pm to (mostly) sleeping kids and a clean house. We haven't spent that much time alone together in a long time, and it was a really special day.

Confirmation

On Sept. 16, my oldest child D. was Confirmed in the Catholic Church. It was my proudest moment as a mother thus far. He participated in a lengthy and demanding preparation program. My father was his sponsor, and I know it made him very proud as well. Seeing D. standing there in his shirt and tie, answering the bishop loudly and shaking his hand firmly, made my heart feel like it was bursting with joy.

The ceremony was very nice. The bishop, who is in his mid-70s, gave a great homily, encouraging the youth to go out and make a difference in the world, and to show God's love to those in need. He is charismatic man and a great speaker, who really had a message to deliver.

Unfortunately, the ceremony was at 7pm on a Saturday night, so we got a babysitter for our younger children who would be unable to sit through a 90+ minute ceremony, especially at night. L. was ill, so he stayed home too. All 3 grandparents attended (one grandfather has passed away). We had a meal together before the ceremony and dessert at home afterwards to celebrate. I made a homemade blueberry pie and key lime pie, D's favorite. Next time, however, I will use regular limes. Key limes are miniature, and grating and squeezing about 30 of them took forever! (And I've made it before with regular limes and it was just as tasty!)

Attached

I'm struggling with a situation right now that is making me very unhappy. Some old, dear girlfriends are getting together for the weekend in another state. They will be gathering and staying at the home of one of the old crowd. I've been invited to come along, with a catch. I am still nursing A., and she is very attached to me. I told them that if I come, I would be bringing her along. I figured I would also bring J., who is best friends with the hostess' daughter, as a babysitter. The price of her ticket would be helping me out. We have already discussed it and she is fine with that.

I was worried that A's presence would spoil the fun, and told them to be honest with me about it. So the hostess (who has 5 kids herself, is a dear friend and is A's godmother) just informed me that she really doesn't want A. to come. My friends have left the place that I am at. Their youngest child is 7 so their lives are rather different from mine. I did expect this friend, in particular, to understand, since she felt the same way when her children were small.

I realize it would be good for me to get away with my girlfriends. I also realize that she is old enough to leave behind. However, she still wakes up occasionally at night, and wants her mama. Also, Daryl will be out of town on business part of that weekend, so I will have patched together child care--a combination of both grandparents and Daryl rotating in and out. The real probem, though, is my emotional response. I am not ready to be away from her for the weekend. This time will not last forever, and I cherish it. For all I know, she is my last baby.

Several years ago Daryl and I went to Europe, and I left my then 2 year old, feeling much as I do now, and it took a lot of enjoyment out of the trip for me. That experience taught me that it is just not worth it, for me, to do that.

So I feel sad and insulted by my friend, and disappointed that I will not be going on the trip. And wishing I had more like-minded friends who were in the same spot as me emotionally.

Weird ways we entertain ourselves

IMG_1576, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

I don't know if it's unique to a large family, but hanging out in the laundry room, full of laundry, strikes me as slightly odd!

First Day of School--Late Shift

IMG_1567, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

These girls were excited!

First Day of School--Early Shift

IMG_1565, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Not all of the early shift look happy to be awake and heading off to school!

Happy Birthday I!

I. turned 9 on Aug. 12. She had 2 friends spend the night and we all went to our small town festival. I gave them each some money and gave the group of them a walkie talkie so they could "call" me if they needed me. They were instructed to buy some food for dinner (pizza slices,etc.) and stay together. It was the easiest birthday party I ever threw. The girls got their faces painted and ate lots of candy, listened to live music and were ready to go home after about 2 hours.

I. is my princess. She always wants to look beautiful, and usually does. She is lively, outgoing and fun, with an infectious laugh. She can be hard to convince that she is expected to do the same chores as her siblings, though! I admire her strength and determination. She walks to the beat of her own drummer and is not easily swayed by what others are doing, thinking, wearing, etc. She is impervious to the peer pressure exerted by her siblings.

She is smart and very perceptive about other people. More physically coordinated than I will ever be, she is naturallly muscular and athletic. My "middle child"--I am so glad I have her!

The Tribe

KIds at Parc national des Hautes-Gorges-de-la-Rivi�re-Malbaie.

St. Anne and her daughter Mary, the Blessed Mother