Merry Christmas!

Christmas 2006


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope this letter finds all of you happy and well.

2006 was a good year for our family. One major event was the July sale of Daryl’s company, XXXXXXs, to Gore, (maker of Gore-tex) a Fortune 500 biotechnology company located in Flagstaff, Arizona. He continues to teach and do research as a Professor at the University of Michigan and to perform as CEO at his other company, XXXXX.

We have embarked on a major home renovation and addition project. Many months were spent on the planning and design phase with the architects. Currently we are completing the bidding process, which will result in both a final budget and the selection of a contractor to complete the work.

Our family did some traveling this year. We spent almost 2 weeks traveling 1000 miles through Ontario and Quebec provinces. We spent a week in a Baie St. Paul, a small town in eastern Quebec, north of Maine. Since none of us speak French, and most Quebecois do not speak English, it was an interesting and sometimes frustrating experience. The region boasts amazing scenery, both mountainous and water oriented. Located on the St. Lawrence seaway, we were able to go whale watching and sea kayaking as well as hiking, bicycling and horseback riding.

In November we spent a week in Chicago having a city vacation where we enjoyed museums, shopping and a performance by the Blue Man Group. We celebrated Thanksgiving with Paula’s aunt, who lives in Chicago.

We will be traveling to Phoenix on Christmas day. We plan to enjoy time with old friends, some hiking and sightseeing, and the sunshine.

D. is in the 9th grade this year. In September he was confirmed in the Catholic churh, which was a proud moment for all of us. He played running back and corner back on the football team. Although the team didn’t have a winning season, Dillon scored numerous touchdowns and was a vital member of the defense. He is currently playing basketball.

J.’s soccer career ended this year when her team disbanded, so she has taken up horseback riding as her new sport. She also continues to play both the piano and flute. She is in 7th grade and is an excellent student. This past summer she attended Inkstains, a creative writing camp at Eastern Michigan University.

L. is now our lone soccer player, and he is both dedicated to his sport and a talented player. He is in the 5th grade, and doing extremely well in school. He has just begun playing the clarinet and continues to play the piano.

I. has also begun horseback riding lessons and she is passionate about both horses and riding. She is in the 4th grade. She continues to play the piano and to fill her role as our household fashionista.

T. has really blossomed in the past year. She is handling the transition from half day kindergarten to full day first grade extremely well. She has gained a lot of self-confidence and maturity. She is a real math whiz and enjoys doing math problems just for fun. She is now reading well enough that she can read a book on her own.
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K. is enjoying being at home with his mom and little sister. Astute and observant, he has a terrific vocabulary ,and we are often amazed by the things he has to say. He loves to be outdoors, enjoys playing with dinosaurs and helping with cooking.

A. has gone through a tremendous transformation in the past year, from a baby with few opinions of her own to an extremely particular little girl who is not shy about sharing her feelings. To say that she loves reading would be a huge understatement. Her adoration for books is so great that we have dubbed her “the librarian.”

After several months of watching Isabel and Jasmine with envy, Paula has also taken up horseback riding, and is enjoying the challenges of a new sport. She continues to be a member of a women’s book club, and continues with running as her primary fitness activity.

We hope you all had a terrific year and a blessed holiday season. We wish many more blessings upon you for the New Year!

A great way to contact Paula is email: pxxxx@xxxx. I look forward to hearing from you!


Love,

Paula, Daryl, D., J., L., I., T., K. and A.

What's Up?

You may be wanting to ask this of me, wondering why my posts are so infrequent. My time is being consumed by 2 things, primarily: 1) unsuccesful attempts to get pregnant and all of the obsessing involved, including recent visits to a reproductive endocrinologist to determine if there is something actually physically amiss (results aren't in on that one yet), and beginning tomorrow, visits to the acupuncturist in the hopes he knows something that western medicine does not. 2) the previously alluded to home renovation project.

I will attempt to briefly describe the house as it is. I live in a home built in 1862 with an addition put on in 1975. The house has no garage and 1.5 bathrooms (used by 9 people) and 4 real bedrooms, only one of which has a closet. Additionally, 3 of those bedrooms have adjoining rooms which could be used as bedrooms but would be walk-throughs. One of those adjoining rooms is being used as a tiny bedroom--the 3 girls have a suite, with the 2 oldest together and the younger one in the little room. Another of those adjoining rooms is being used by Daryl as an office. The third adjoining room connects to my bedroom, and it is being used as a combination closet and bedroom for A. 3 of the bedrooms are upstairs but there are no upstairs bathrooms. The upstairs bedrooms sport funky shag and dated wallpaper. The front porch on our house is literally falling off. We have a laundry room that is only big enough for a washer and dryer, no folding area or storage for clothes. The kitchen/family room is dark year round, requiring the lights on at all times. I park outdoors and carry groceries, babies, etc. up a small hill.

The renovation involves: Adding 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms upstairs, including a master bedroom, and putting a murphy bed/nightstand unit in the little room that adjoins the downstairs bedroom, which will become a guest suite. Some of these bedrooms will be located in an addition which will include a garage, new laundry room and mudroom, and a finished basement. The downstairs family room, which has large beams in the ceiling, will have the ceiling opened up to the 2nd story with only the beams remaining for a vaulted ceiling with skylights. The kitchen will be renovated to include additional cabinets, a 2nd dishwasher and a 2nd refrigerator/freezer. The old part of the house will receive cosmetic improvements as needed, like paint and flooring.

We spent July-Sept. working on the design with architects. Oct.-Nov. has involved selecting a builder/contractor. We are reviewing bids and hopefully we will have one by next week. We bid out some of the outdoor work separately, which began the week before Thanksgiving. This included removing the nonfunctional swimming pool and deck, clearing brush and rocks, removing and rebuilding the front porch, and sealing the old basement, which leaked, from the inside and outside.

Once the project is in full swing we will need to move out for 5-6 months, so I am currently looking at rental houses.

In other news, we spent Thanksgiving week in Chicago, visiting Windy City attractions like the Science and Industry Museum and the Shedd Aquarium. We also visited friends and saw the parade of lights on the Magnificent Mile. Two birthdays happened while we were there. L. turned 11 and chose to go ice skating outdoors in Millenium Park and to the top of the Hancock building. A. turned 2 while we were there, but we celebrated her birthday when we got home. She was very clingy and attached during the entire week. She is the only one of 7 children who refuses to: ride in the backpack AND ride in the stroller AND ride in the sling AND walk. She only wants to be carried, and only mama will do. Mama's arms get very tired.

We spent Thanksgiving Day with my aunt who lives in Chicago and my parents, who drove in for the holiday.

So that's what I've been up to!

Love Thursday

Love Thursday, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Need I say more? My oldest and youngest.

How Did We Get Here?

Mothers of large families are often asked: Were you always in total agreement with your husbands about family size? Did either of you need convincing or change your minds? Was it a gradual process or did you always know you wanted more?

The short answer to that question, the reply I give to nosy strangers, is that once we began having children, each one was so special that it made us want to have another.

The extended version is:

When we married, we had agreed that we would have children; at least two, maybe four. After we had our first, I was hooked. Daryl was pretty excited, too. We welcomed a second and a third in quick succession. At this point we were planning to put a larger gap between the third and fourth. The first 3 children are each 21 months apart and the second and third were both difficult toddlers. However, as it happened, our fourth child was born 21 months after the third! While I was pregnant with her, Daryl became convinced we needed a Suburban, instead of the minivan that we owned at that time. I felt that a Suburban was expensive and not really necessary. We could afford it, however, and I agreed on the condition that I was entitled to any one thing I should want in the future, including another child! Daryl readily agreed to this. I got pregnant in late May and miscarried in early July, at 7 weeks along. I was devastated, but fortunate in that the miscarriage was physically easy. I didn't suffer intense cramping or excessive bleeding, and didn't require any medical attention. I felt healthy immediately after it was over, and we tried again the next month. Our youngest was now almost 2 when we conceived our fifth child.

At this point people started to say things to us. We had 2 boys and 2 girls, which while larger than average, was regarded as a cute bigger family. When we went from 4 to 5 children was when we became a curiousity in the public eye. Particularly because we had "2 of each," as though they were matched salt and pepper shakers, people couldn't fathom our wanting another child.

When our fifth child was 16 months old, we moved across the country to Michigan. Although this was a long desired change, our lives were pretty shaken up by the experience. I wanted to have another, but Daryl insisted we wait until things settled down. After we'd been in Michigan for a year, he agreed that we were ready, and it wasn't long before I was pregnant with our sixth child. Once he was born, Daryl felt that he was done, and proceeded to proclaim that rather loudly. This was painful for me, since I knew I wanted to welcome another child into our lives. When our sixth child was 8 months old, I put my feelings in writing and gave Daryl the letter to read while away on business. I felt (and still feel) that we were handling the number of children we had well, and that God had blessed us in so many ways that we should be open to receiving another blessing from him. He returned home and readily agreed to have another child. I got pregnant immediately, much to our delight.

Our baby is now almost 2, and we are hoping and praying that God blesses us with another.

Have you Ever?

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Courtesy of Mopsy at Lifenut (see link in Sidebar)

Trick or Treat

IMG_1603, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here they are, from left: Fireman, vampiress, hippie (?), soccer ball, medieval queen. Not pictured are D. (14) who did not go this year, and A. (23 months) who went as herself, an obstinate almost 2 year old who refused to wear a costume or pose for a picture. A. rode in the wagon but wouldn't go to the door. After about 30 minutes she wanted to be carried, so I took her to the van and we caught up to the others. By then K. was done, so he got in and we ate animal crackers and read books while the older 4 went on for another 30 minutes. It was cold, 43F and windy.

I wasn't in the Halloween mood this year. We didn't have a party, although we hung our decorations, and we didn't purchase or carve any pumpkins. No one comes to our house due to our set back location on a busy road, so no one ever sees the pumpkins anyway, and sometimes it just strikes me as a waste of time, money and energy, not to mention the mess it makes. Do I sound like Scrooge?

The kids did have the costumes they wanted, however, and face it--Halloween is all about the costumes and the candy. L. wanted to be a soccer ball, and we found a rubber mask but failed to order it in time, so had to come up with our own design, which was a real soccer ball cut in half with eye and mouth holes, attached to a black ski mask, combined with a white t-shirt with a soccer ball pattern drawn on it with black fabric marker. He wanted to win the most original costume award in his class, and he did! (Pat me on the back for that idea!) J. waited until the last minute to decide what to be, so those 2 costumes involved visiting 4 stores on Oct. 30.

What Flower Are You?

I am a Snapdragon What Flower Are You?

"Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."

Feeling Blue

Another month has passed and I am not pregnant. Try as I may to not let it bother me, it is. On the day I took a pregnancy test, only to have it come out negative, I sat down at the computer after doing the test and opened an email from a friend with pictures of their brand new baby. Later in the week another friend gave birth. I am thrilled for these couples, yet it was hard to hear, especially since I'd always thought that by the time they had their babies, I would be pregnant.

Last weekend Daryl shared his disappointment with me, which helped tremendously. I knew he would be happy to have another child, but didn't know that he wanted it enough to feel disappointed that I wasn't pregnant. So I went through the rest of the week feeling somewhat better until today, when my brother-in-law called to announce his wife's surprise pregnancy. Again, I am very happy for them, but still, I cried after I hung up the phone. Had I gotten pregnant this month we would have been due within a week of one another.

And I am struggling with guilt as well. I have close friends and family that are struggling with serious illness, financial crises, and crumbling marriages right now, while everything in my life is going smoothly and happily. I have been blessed in SO many ways, that I have nothing to complain about. I had a well meaning friend point out to me that even if I never get pregnant again, I should consider myself very lucky. I have 7 beautiful healthy children, a husband who loves me, financial security, and my health. I KNOW this, but all of the logic in the world doesn't seem to help change my feelings of sadness. Feelings are feelings, not based on facts.

I guess I'll just keep on hoping. Maybe that new nephew or niece will have a cousin only a few months younger.

Praise the Lord!

Yesterday I got terrific news. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer several weeks ago. She is 40 years old and has a husband and 2 young children. She a beautiful woman both inside and out. She is very sweet, a terrific cook, loving wife and mother, great friend, keeps a spotless house, and is really ravishing. She had 2 lymph node biopsies to determine if the cancer had spread. Yesterday the 2nd biopsy came back negative, meaning the cancer has not spread! She will be having surgery to remove her breast soon, so I will be keeping her in my prayers.

A Perfect Day

Fall was at its most glorious last week, and on Friday, Daryl and I had an appointment with John Allegretti, the architect who is designing our home renovation/addition. His office is located in St. Joseph, Michigan, on the west coast of the state, right on Lake Michigan, which is a 2+ hour drive away. It was a beautiful day for a drive, and I had arranged child care for the entire day. We talked and talked. After our meeting, which took about 3 hours (basically until we were stuptefied and could not have made another decision!) we found a small but authentic Mexican place for lunch. We love Mexican food and it's hard to get good Mexican in Michigan. St. Joseph has a great downtown, so we walked slowly back to the car, browsing shops. All the way home we listened to the radio which was playing songs from the 70s and early 80s, basically our highschool and early college days, which was fun. The entire drive was lined with trees in radiant colors, and as early evening approached, the full harvest moon rose. It was spectacular, and right in front of us as we watched it for the next hour.

When we arrived at home, the kids were happy and the house was clean. We quickly changed clothes and I put A. to bed, and then we headed off to a wedding reception for my old college roommate that I was reunited with last winter. She got married this summer out of state, a small family wedding, and was having a reception to celebrate her wedding at a nice bar/restaurant. She married a man who is the head of the local branch of a large corporation. Her husband is extremely well known and well connected in Ann Arbor, so we met a lot of interesting, well-heeled people at the party, including the mayor of Ann Arbor, the mayor's wife who is a professional pianist, the director of the University Musical Society, the director of the Michigan Theater, the principal flautist for the Ann Arbor Symphony, etc.

We returned home around 11:30pm to (mostly) sleeping kids and a clean house. We haven't spent that much time alone together in a long time, and it was a really special day.

Confirmation

On Sept. 16, my oldest child D. was Confirmed in the Catholic Church. It was my proudest moment as a mother thus far. He participated in a lengthy and demanding preparation program. My father was his sponsor, and I know it made him very proud as well. Seeing D. standing there in his shirt and tie, answering the bishop loudly and shaking his hand firmly, made my heart feel like it was bursting with joy.

The ceremony was very nice. The bishop, who is in his mid-70s, gave a great homily, encouraging the youth to go out and make a difference in the world, and to show God's love to those in need. He is charismatic man and a great speaker, who really had a message to deliver.

Unfortunately, the ceremony was at 7pm on a Saturday night, so we got a babysitter for our younger children who would be unable to sit through a 90+ minute ceremony, especially at night. L. was ill, so he stayed home too. All 3 grandparents attended (one grandfather has passed away). We had a meal together before the ceremony and dessert at home afterwards to celebrate. I made a homemade blueberry pie and key lime pie, D's favorite. Next time, however, I will use regular limes. Key limes are miniature, and grating and squeezing about 30 of them took forever! (And I've made it before with regular limes and it was just as tasty!)

Attached

I'm struggling with a situation right now that is making me very unhappy. Some old, dear girlfriends are getting together for the weekend in another state. They will be gathering and staying at the home of one of the old crowd. I've been invited to come along, with a catch. I am still nursing A., and she is very attached to me. I told them that if I come, I would be bringing her along. I figured I would also bring J., who is best friends with the hostess' daughter, as a babysitter. The price of her ticket would be helping me out. We have already discussed it and she is fine with that.

I was worried that A's presence would spoil the fun, and told them to be honest with me about it. So the hostess (who has 5 kids herself, is a dear friend and is A's godmother) just informed me that she really doesn't want A. to come. My friends have left the place that I am at. Their youngest child is 7 so their lives are rather different from mine. I did expect this friend, in particular, to understand, since she felt the same way when her children were small.

I realize it would be good for me to get away with my girlfriends. I also realize that she is old enough to leave behind. However, she still wakes up occasionally at night, and wants her mama. Also, Daryl will be out of town on business part of that weekend, so I will have patched together child care--a combination of both grandparents and Daryl rotating in and out. The real probem, though, is my emotional response. I am not ready to be away from her for the weekend. This time will not last forever, and I cherish it. For all I know, she is my last baby.

Several years ago Daryl and I went to Europe, and I left my then 2 year old, feeling much as I do now, and it took a lot of enjoyment out of the trip for me. That experience taught me that it is just not worth it, for me, to do that.

So I feel sad and insulted by my friend, and disappointed that I will not be going on the trip. And wishing I had more like-minded friends who were in the same spot as me emotionally.

Weird ways we entertain ourselves

IMG_1576, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

I don't know if it's unique to a large family, but hanging out in the laundry room, full of laundry, strikes me as slightly odd!

First Day of School--Late Shift

IMG_1567, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

These girls were excited!

First Day of School--Early Shift

IMG_1565, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Not all of the early shift look happy to be awake and heading off to school!

Happy Birthday I!

I. turned 9 on Aug. 12. She had 2 friends spend the night and we all went to our small town festival. I gave them each some money and gave the group of them a walkie talkie so they could "call" me if they needed me. They were instructed to buy some food for dinner (pizza slices,etc.) and stay together. It was the easiest birthday party I ever threw. The girls got their faces painted and ate lots of candy, listened to live music and were ready to go home after about 2 hours.

I. is my princess. She always wants to look beautiful, and usually does. She is lively, outgoing and fun, with an infectious laugh. She can be hard to convince that she is expected to do the same chores as her siblings, though! I admire her strength and determination. She walks to the beat of her own drummer and is not easily swayed by what others are doing, thinking, wearing, etc. She is impervious to the peer pressure exerted by her siblings.

She is smart and very perceptive about other people. More physically coordinated than I will ever be, she is naturallly muscular and athletic. My "middle child"--I am so glad I have her!

The Tribe

KIds at Parc national des Hautes-Gorges-de-la-Rivi�re-Malbaie.

St. Anne and her daughter Mary, the Blessed Mother

Inside the Basilica of St. Anne de Beaupre

The feast day of St. Anne was the day after we visited, so there were loads of people there at this time, and many masses and prayer services going on leading up to the day.

A View of the Riviere Malbaie and the Gorge

Library - 140, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

L'Isle Aux Coudres

A view of the island and the ocean. EVERY town in Charlevoix boasts a church that can be seen from literally miles away as they are always the tallest building around. Many are very beautiful.

In the Trailer

K. and A. spent a lot of time, riding fairly happily, in this trailer.

Taking a Break

We rode the chairlift to the top of Mt. Tremblant, then did some hiking. Here are A. and I taking a "mimi" (nursing) break in a mountaintop meadow.

Tremblant resort and Mountain

Paula and Kids at Tremblant

Paula and Daryl

Paula doing the Luge

Bungee swinging at Tremblant

DSC_0712, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here is L. in the air. It wasn't actually jumping from a high place, but rather jumping off a trampoline and getting airborne and doing flips.

Baie St. Paul

Our final vacation destination was a little village in the Charlevoix region of Quebec called Baie St. Paul. It is on the St. Lawrence River/seaway, and is known as an artists haven. There were many galleries, in addition to shops and restaurants. We were north of Maine, USA and had traveled 1000 miles to get there. The reason I chose this place to vacation was that the region is boasts and amazing amount of unparalleled beauty and things to do.

The first day was overcast and cool, so we went whale watching. In the summer the whales come to the area where the St. Lawrence joins the Atlantic. We saw 2 humpback whales very close up, and 2 enormous Finn whales, as well as many porpoises and seals.

The next day we took a ferry to L'Isle Aux Coudres. We brought our bikes and rode the 23 kilometer road around the island.

One day we went to Quebec City and spent the day. We stopped on the way at the shrine of St. Anne de Beaupre, a Catholic Basilica. St. Anne de Beaupre is the mother of Mary, the mother of Jesus. She was infertile for many years, but never lost faith, and was blessed with her daughter Mary late in life. She is credited with many miracles.

Another day we spent sea kayaking and horseback riding. We did this in shifts, one group riding in the morning and another kayaking in the afternoon.

The last day we visited Parc national des Hautes-Gorges-de-la-Rivière-Malbaie, named after a series of valleys cut deep into a range of high mountains by the Riviere Malbaie. Steep slopes, beautiful natural surroundings, and the unusual course of Rivière Malbaie fill this park with dramatic scenery at every turn.

We had a great time, but vacationed ourselves into exhaustion. Although I wouldn't have wanted to miss anything we did, I was ready to go home 2-3 days before the vacation was over, and then I had to ride 1000 miles back home! I tried to convince Daryl to stop in Montreal at the airport and let me fly home with A., but he wouldn't go for it! Truly, though, we had a great time.

More vacation

We spent half the day walking around Ottawa, and then headed to Mont Tremblant, a village and ski resort north of Montreal. We stayed at the resort for 3 days. This part of the trip was a celebration of sorts, of a recent business success of Daryl's. The resort is beautiful, bright and clean. There are many free things that go on, like evening concerts, parades, face painters and clowns making balloon animals. In addition to hotels of every style and price range, including condos for rent, the resort is comprised of shops and restaurants of many varieties.

While there we were able to paricipate in numerous fun activities, like the luge, rock wall climbing, and bungee jumping (which were not free!). The area is covered with bicycle trails, and as we had brought all of our bikes and a trailer for the little ones to ride in, we did some biking as well.

Vacation

The last 2 weeks of July we went on a family vacation. As we so often do, we headed to Canada. Our first night was spent in Stratford, Ontario, renowned for its theater festival. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to take in a show. The next morning dawned searingly hot, and we got on the road ASAP. We headed for Ottawa, the nation's capitol. After we'd been on the road an hour, and the very crabby 20 month old had just fallen asleep, Daryl needed to conduct a conference call for work. He wanted to stop while he talked and have the kids and I play somewhere. Due to the intense heat and the napping baby, I was unwilling to do this, so we instructed the kids to be extremely quiet, and I drove while he talked. Amazingly, they remained inaudible for a little more than an hour while he talked! Apparently there were several arguments, and tears, all conducted in whispers so quiet that even I couldn't hear them. By the time the phone call was over, we stopped for lunch. Then we decided to spend a few hours on Lake Ontario, being unable to pass by the beach at a great lake without stopping.

We arrived in Ottawa late, checked into the hotel, went for a very brief swim before the pool closed, and then had a very late dinner from room service while watching Over the Hedge. In the morning, we went out for breakfast, and upon seeing what a beautiful city Ottawa is, spent several hours walking around.

My Heart's Desire

As I mentioned in my previous post, it is my heart's desire to have another child. If any of my dear readers feel so inclined, I'd appreciate any prayers that I be blessed again.

Thanks!

Birthday

The next birthday was mine! I turned 42 on Aug. 2, which is also my 2nd blogaversary (term coined by Chris at Notes from the Trenches).

All I wanted for my birthday is another baby, and it has been several months of trying with no results, which is unusual for us. I had really wanted to be pregnant by my 42nd birthday, and I am not, so I woke up feeling sort of sad and old (and fat, for some reason I've gained about 5 lbs. this summer!)

The rest of my day went something like this. I woke up to a slightly messy house, so spent some time doing dishes, putting cushions back on couch, and picking up dh's clothes off the floor. Annoyed, I asked 6yo, who was the only on up, to wake her siblings up since I shouldn't have to do all the picking up on my bday. She returned shortly saying they refused to get up. More annoyed! About 30 minutes later they did get up and were then very helpful. I made myself a last minute appointment for a pedicure, and rushed off to do that and have lunch with a close friend.

I've never had a pedicure and my feet were horny toads, literally black in areas with very rough dead skin and tons of calluses. Now they are pink and soft and smooth!

I hate hot weather and it was about 95 and REALLY humid here. When I got to the restaurant I discovered that dh had had flowers delivered there for me! I ordered lunch, but when the waitress brought it, it was not what I ordered. I described what I'd ordered, which was the special appetizer, and that's what I said I wanted and pointed to it on the specials menu, but did not name it. It turned out that the hostess had missed one of last weeks specials menus when she changed them over, so the one I was given described last week's specials. I was brought this week's special appetizer. She suggested something else and it was prepared amazingly quickly. It was very tasty, although not exactly what I'd wanted.

After lunch I drove my friend back to her office, and as she got out of the car I realized that I'd left the flowers at the restaurant. I was totally out of gas, so I called the restaurant and they said they had the flowers set aside for me. I thought I felt the car chug a little as I raced to the nearest (expensive) gas station in the downtown shopping district. I was totally drenched with sweat by the time I finished pumping gas. I returned to the restaurant to retrieve the flowers, getting even more sweaty as I walked back to the car. I'd used the last of my cash paying to get out of the parking lot the first time, and was relieved that they would accept Canadian change since that was all I had!

My parents were waiting at my house, which was spotlessly clean (picked up by the kids) and the kids were all happy, cared for by their older siblings, and had all worked together to make me a beautiful banner. My parents had brought a large cheesecake and 42 candles, which I was able to blow out all at once! We visited for about an hour, and after they left I took a long nap.

Feeling refreshed, I did some Pilates exercises while dh, who had just returned home from work, bearing deli meats and cheeses and fresh french bread for dinner, took a short nap. Then he went to pick up D. from football conditioning while the rest of us set out the food and the table. We made our sandwiches, intending to wait for them to start eating, but they didn't return for a long time. My daughter J., concerned that there was no cake, had called dh on the sly and told him to stop at the store and get some dessert. He brought home 2 frozen pies and was astonished that they required 1 hour to bake! Mind you, this man has a PhD! We all got a laugh out of that, and decided to make mango and peach milkshakes instead. My oldest child held one lit candle up for me to blow out while they sang to me.

After dessert I received some nice gifts. Dh got me pearl earrings and the promise of shopping for a treadmill. The girls gave me cash and promised to "take me shopping." The boys gave me a sports watch that is also a heart rate monitor for exercising.

By this time it was quite late so we all went to bed.

July

Independence Day

We spent the long Independence Day weekend at home. I bought a new badminton/volleyball set, since our old one was totally destroyed, and a new tetherball. We set those up, along with horseshoes, and built real pits for the horseshoes. I bought some small prizes at the grocery story and we had a badminton tournament--double elimination so everyone got to play more than one game. I love badminton, despite the fact that I suck!

We didn't attend the fireworks party on July 3 that we usually go to because it was raining. By the time it was late enough for the fireworks, it had cleared but now it was too late to get to our friends' home in time for the show. We live very close to the fireworks, but they can't be seen from our yard due to the enormous trees. So Daryl and the kids jumped the fence and walked onto the golf course at the metropark across the road where the fireworks were being held, where they had a great view. I stayed home with the little ones, who were in bed (it doesn't get dark in our neck of the woods till 10pm at that time of year). I attempted to see the fireworks from the yard, and from a 2nd story window of our house, but couldn't.

On the 4th, we had our own fireworks show. In recent years we've purchased a small set, which our oldest has set off with Daryl's supervision, and oohed and aahed over all those bottle rockets. This year, however, we were driving through Illinos in June, which boasts warehouses full of fireworks that aren't legal in Michigan. Seriously, we shopped in a Costco sized warehouse full of fireworks. We bought 2 large sets, one of which we set off at our family reunion in late June. We also bought several individual mortars. The sets were basicallly bigger versions of what we'd done before, just a lot MORE bottle rockets. The mortars were really cool fireworks that went up high in the air! They scared the pants off poor Daryl but the rest of us loved them! We have enough bottle rockets left for several more years, we'll just need to supplement with a few mortars.

Sold!

On July 6, Daryl closed a business deal that we had been waiting for a long time. He sold a small company that he co-founded with a colleague to a much larger company. This was very exciting news for us. It means we will be able to complete some major home renovations that we have dreamed of. The next day, he left for China and Japan for a week. I spent the week completing our vacation preparations.

Reunion

The evening he returned from his trip to Asia, we hosted a gathering of some of our old college cronies. My dear friend J., one of my 2 freshmen college roommates, always comes to Michigan in the summer and she and her husband and daughters always come for a visit and spend the night. I had recently reconnected with our other roommate (see my post titled Serendipity) after 19 years, so she and her husband came over and the 3 of us (we lived in a "converted triple" which means a dorm room designed for 2 people into which they cram 3!) were all together for the first time in 20 years! Several other old friends were here also, and we had a lovely dinner.

Where I've Been

It's been a busy couple of months, so I'll recap:

D's birthday

On June 5 my oldest child turned 14. Handsome and strong, funny and argumentative, helpful and responsible. He makes me laugh, is interesting to talk to, and just a person I really enjoy being around. I'm so glad I have him!

June

As always, we limped to the finish line with the ending of school on June 9. One more day and we wouldn't have made it! On Saturday, June 10 we headed to Muskegon, Michigan for a family wedding. We spent the night there and went to Michigan's Adventure, an amusement/water park. It features both roller coasters and water rides and slides. I haven't been on a roller coaster in years, and I braved a few, and found them to be actually fun! We had a lovely day, sunny and in the high 60s, but a little cool for water rides. The kids, of course, went anyway! The best part was there were NO lines. Literally, get in line and be on the ride as soon as it returns from its current run. The park also features many rides for younger children, both tiny tot and medium sized rides.

The following week we left on Thursday for Delevan, Wisconsin, (in the Lake Geneva area) where D's sister lives. We had wedding in Madison on Friday, June 16. Daryl and I attended it without the kids, who stayed with their aunt, uncle and cousin. It was a formal evening wedding, and I wore a little black dress that I own, along with some great costume jewelry and rhinestone studded thong sandals. We spend the rest of the weekend visiting with Daryl's sister and her family as well as my mother-in-law, who was there as well. Lake Geneva is a beautiful lake resort town, and we spent some time there, even renting a speed boat and going for a boat ride. We left our 3 older daughters in Wisconsin to visit with their cousin and returned home on Sunday.

K's birthday

My littlest boy turned 3 on June 20, but since his sisters and his Dad were out of town, we didn't celebrate it until June 22. I still wanted to do something special with him on June 20 (even though he didn't know it was his birthday) so I took him to the movie "Cars." It was his first time going to a movie theatre. He had fun, although the movie was actually way above his level of understanding, and he did lose interest before it was over. He enjoyed sitting on my lap and eating popcorn, however, and I thought the movie was quite good.

K. is an active, happy little guy. Still not fully potty trained, and still competing hard with his little sister to be the baby, but slowly making progress toward being a "big boy." He loves his big sister J. more than anything, even me! He is friendly and outgoing and very loving and affectionate. He has a great sense of humor and often makes us laugh. All boy, he loves action figures and cars, balls and bikes, and like the rest of us, adores books!

Another Reader

IMG_1389, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

One of the great blessings in my life is how my children love to read, and how easily it comes to them. By kindergarten each has seemed to magically just "get" it and be able to sound out words, without phonics or special work of any kind on our part. Then they progress steadily until 3rd grade, when they take a huge leap and are suddenly able to read long,difficult chapter books.

It helps that from infancy they are surrounded by voracious readers and heaps of books.

Years ago my oldest child's kindergarten teacher told me that some children begin school not knowing which way to hold a book or turn the pages, which really saddened me.

Here is a picture of A., who already knows how to do that and enjoys "reading" a book on her own.

Riding Lessons

IMG_1397, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

I. has begun taking riding lessons. After teling her yes, I discovered that this is the world's most expensive sport. I am rationalizing that she has not participated in many extracurricular activities, while her older siblings have many seasons of (expensive) soccer under their belts, so from a fairness standpoint, it's OK to spend more on her for a while.

The horse she is on is named Winton. He is 28 years old and has taught hundreds of local children (many of whom are now adults) how to ride, and to say he is mellow is a huge overstatement. Saying that he struggles to stay awake during lessons is more truthful! He is perfect for a beginner, however.

Note the riding boots and helmet, purchased by me. The pants are hand-me-downs from her best friend, who not only rides, but has her own pony.

The biggest problem with takking riding lessons and having a best friend who owns a horse, as far as I can tell, is the constant queries. As soon as she began lessons, the queries began: "Can we get a horse?" I have said no a thousand times, yet she continues to ask. (sigh) Although we live on 8 acres in the country, and are actually zoned to have a maximum of 3 horses on our property, we do NOT have a barn or any other shelter for horses. In addition, her dad and I are NOT horse people. We don't know anything about caring for a horse and are not interested, at this point in time, in doing any of the work involved with owning a horse, not to mention the expense.

Introducing Cazadora

Introducing Cazadora, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Three weeks ago this little kitten joined our family. She was 6 weeks old when we got her, ostensibly to hunt the mice that are driving me crazy in my old house. Her name is taken from the Spanish word cazador, which means hunter in English. We call her Cazzy for short. She is extremely playful and feisty. She keeps herself very busy climbing (all the way to the lampshade on a tall floor lamp!) , running, chasing, and batting at anything and everything. As I blog, she is playing with the cord on the computer, sometimes climbing the chair and running across the laptop, pausing only to take a few swipes at my hair. Hopefully all of this means she will be a terrific huntress!

What Color Green Am I?

You Are Mint Green

Balanced and calm, you have mastered the philosophy of living well. Your friends seek you out for support, and you are able to bring stability to chaotic situations. You're very open and cheerful - and you feel like you have a lot of freedom in life. Your future may hold any number of exciting things, and you're ready for all of them!

What Color Green Are You?

The Girls and I

The Girls and I, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here are the girls and I on Mother's Day.

The Boys and I (minus one!)

The Boys and I (minus one!), originally uploaded by PaulaK.

This was taken later in the day on Mother's Day, unfortunately after K. was already in bed (which is why it was minus one!)

Mother's Day Brunch

Mother's Day Brunch, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

On Mother's Day I invited my mom (and dad) and my mother-in-law to go out to brunch with us, to the Common Grill in Chelsea. We all had matching corsages--(you can see mine in the photo of my daughters and I). We had a delicious meal and a lovely time.

When we got home, I took a nice long nap. D. made dinner, linguine with white clam sauce, and then the kids showered me with precious homemade gifts.

Restless

There is so much going on right now, or rather that I am waiting for and have been for about 6 months, that I am totally crazy from the "in limbo" feeling. Hopefully things will be drawing to a close soon, and we will be able to make some decisions about home, career, and family. That's why I sometimes don't post for a while--there is so much to say but much of it I can't talk about (yet). Good stuff, all of it, and I'm not complaining, but have you ever been in a situation where you are just waiting for events to unfold, and felt very impatient and restless? Uncertainty is driving me to the brink!

Facing My Demons

My kitchen is overrun with little moths. This has been a constant problem, particularly bad in recent months, so I finally decided to clean out the cabinets (again). This is a difficult task for me for 2 reasons: I have to sort through all of the old food, tossing anything moth infested, and wipe down all the shelves, which is an icky job. While doing this I also sort out old, but not moth infested food to throw away. I am somewhat obsessive-compulsive and I HATE to waste anything, so I evaluate canned and jarred goods, thinking "Well, this MIGHT still be good." Yet in reality, if I keep it I will NEVER eat it, because I always think, "I don't really know if that is good anymore." Going through the painful decision of whether or not to throw away each item is a psychologically grueling exercise for me.

This time I was able to part with some canned and dry goods that I know I brought here to Michigan with me 5 years ago, as well as some products that I am now admitting seemed like a good idea at the time, but I will NEVER eat, like the dried kelp and other ingredients I purchased when experimenting with macrobiotics.

Since I finished cleaning out the cabinets and putting moth traps in them, the number of moths has not diminished, despite the fact that there are no longer any unsealed food products of any kind available. If anything, they seem more active and spirited than ever. There are generally at least 2 flying around the kitchen at any time, and the past few days it seems they are constantly flying right at my face or into my hair.

#5 Turns 6!

T. turned 6 on Saturday, Apr. 22 (and I'm still behind!) It is a tradition in our extended family to throw a birthday party for each child and invite the extended family. This was planned for Saturday evening. On Saturday morning, she had a small party with 3 friends. It was her first friend party, and was significant because she is a slow bloomer socially, and didn't have many friends until this past year. Since her birthday fell on Earth Day, I got clay pots for the kids to paint, which we then planted a pansy in. They each had their potted flower, a spade and a watering can to take home, in lieu of those "goody bags" of absolute junk commonly distributed at parties. And the kids were so excited that they got to keep their spades and watering cans (acquired at Target before Easter for $1.00 each). I had planned that they would play Pin the Tail on the Dog (made by her big sister J) and musical chairs while we waited for the paint to dry, but it was difficult to generate interest. We did play one halfhearted game of Pin the Tail on the Dog, and then they went outside to play. We had pizza and birthday cheesecake for lunch (T's choice) and then opened gifts and that was the end. Short and sweet!

T. felt that she also wanted to have a private celebration with just her parents and siblings. Usually we do this on the actual day, and any friend or extended family parties are on the weekend, but since her birthday fell on Saturday the day was full. So we opted to have the small family celebration on Friday night. During the day on Friday she'd also celebrated her birthday at school, with cookies she brought in.

The only gift suggestion she had mentioned was that she wanted a globe. Three times we had this conversation: "You mean a globe of the earth?" "No, I mean a globe that plays music and has snow in it." "Oh." For some reason it was impossible for her harried and distracted mother to remember this, so I did ask her the same thing several more times on different days, to which she replied, "I already told you this!"

I looked at snow globes online, and saw some that were nice, but not compelling. I waited until several days before her birthday and called 3 local gift shops, none of which currently carried snow globes, although I'd seen them there in the past. Of course, it was now too late to order a snow globe online.

The other gift that I wanted to give her was a scooter. Not a small razor style scooter, but a large bicycle sized scooter with hand brakes. Years ago I had given scooters to 2 of the older kids, and I just found them in a bike shop. Once again, I called around to the NUMEROUS bike shops in my area, and not one carried scooters in stock, although many of the shops said they could order them. Panicked, I began calling shops further and further away, and found one in a shop about an hour's drive away. Thankfully, the bike shop was in a town near my mother-in-law's house, so I asked her to pick up the scooter for me. She was coming her Friday night anyway to attend D's track meet.

When I mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was also looking for a snow globe, she went to her local mall where she found 2 gift shops that carried them, and one had a huge variety and they were on sale 50% off! She bought one for me, and it was absolutely perfect! It had dogs both inside the globe and on the base, which turned while it played "Memories", and snow glitter inside. T's favorite thing is dogs. She has never liked dolls or traditional girly toys, nor does she care for cars, action figures or other "boy" toys. She already has a huge collection of stuffed animal dogs, so it was difficult to come up with new gift ideas for her.

I think she enjoyed all of her birthday celebrations, but was exhausted by the end, as was I. Being a foodie, I usually insist on only homemade birthday treats and cakes, but this time she took store bought cookies to school, and I bought the cheesecake, although I did put a yogurt and fresh fruit topping on it to make it look like a flower. She chose steak caesar salad for dinner on Friday night and I made a red velvet birthday cake. For breakfast on Saturday she requested puffed oven pancakes with fruit on top. We served hamburgers and hotdogs and potato chips for dinner (no salads or side dishes--how lame is that?) at the extended family party, followed by store bought ice cream cake.

T. herself is somewhat of an enigma. My only dark eyed child, and my only child born with a head full of hair! She is fiercely loyal and devoted to the family, and often mentions how much she loves her family. She is very sweet, extremely intelligent, and slightly immature for her age. I think this may arise from having been the baby of the family for more than 3 years. Often when challenged, disagreed with, scolded, or asked to do something she doesn't want to, she bursts into tears in an attempt to manipulate us. She is very astute about people and relationships and understands far more than she lets on. Somewhat timid, she does not enjoy rough play, being upside down, or things like that, and has yet to learn to ride a bike or to swim even a little.

She is a good playmate to her younger siblings and can be an able assistant to me when she wants to. She is generally happy and very loving. She is a person for whom still waters do run deep, and I am so curious to see who she will become!

Inside of Eagle Tavern

Inside of Eagle Tavern, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The reception dinner was served family style, by servers wearing period costumes. Although the building has modern plumbing and electricity, the tavern is lit only by hurricane lanterns on the tables and candelabra rather than electric lighting, giving it that historical feel.

Eagle Tavern

Eagle Tavern, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The reception took place in the Eagle Tavern, a short walk down a brick lined path from the chapel.

Martha Mary Chapel

Martha Mary Chapel, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

We were married in the Martha Mary Chapel. Our wedding took place on a Sunday evening, Mother's Day. About 120 guests attended our wedding and reception.

19 Years!

On May 10 Daryl and I celebrated 19 years of marriage. They have been blissfully, blessedly happy. Of course, we have had an occasional disagreement and a few bumps in the road, but have not had any major marital woes or personal tragedies to contend with. I cannot believe how lucky I am, to have found him, my soul mate, the only man I was ever able to be truly "me" with.

We met in a co-ed student rental house in Ann Arbor at the beginning of my junior/his senior year (fall 1984). Four friends and I had signed a lease for the 6 bedroom house the previous spring knowing we needed to find a 6th roomate in order for the house to be affordable. When we moved in that fall, we hung an ad on a bulletin board at the student union, and had a series of bizarre cretins somewhat unusual people come to our door to inquire about the room for rent. We were all liberal arts students, who didn't think much of a math oriented major like engineering, but by the time Daryl came to the door, he looked terrific by comparison to some of the previous would-be roomates. I wasn't home when he came by, but the others approved him in my absence, and told me "He's an engineer, but he's OK."

When I met him, what I thought was "Wow! He's cute!" So did all of my girlfriends, one of whom dated him briefly that year. I had a serious boyfriend at the time, so Daryl and I became close friends. As the school year drew to a close in the spring, both he and my boyfriend, (they were now acquaintances through me), another engineer, both got jobs at Arthur-Andersen and began commuting to work together. After a short time on the job, Daryl was transferred to the Chicago office. He called and came to visit often, including a special trip for my 21st birthday.

In the fall of 1985, my relationship with my boyfriend was on the rocks. I was applying to graduate school and needed to take the GRE exam. The day the test was being given locally was the date of my aunt's wedding in Chicago, so I arranged to go to Chicago early and take the test there, where it was offered the day before her wedding. I had asked Daryl to be my date to her wedding, as I had been his date to a wedding several months before. Sadly, the wedding was called off about a week before it was to take place. It was too late to change the test date at that point, so I travelled to Chicago, took the test, and visited with my aunt, who was having a difficult time. I also visited Daryl one evening. We met downtown, where he lived in a highrise apartment. He took me to the top of the John Hancock building for a drink, out for a Mexican dinner, and then to a blues bar to listen to music. It was a rainy, misty evening and I was wearing a cape I'd borrowed from my aunt. Several times he put his arm around me, and I thought he was being friendly, but when he kissed me I realized that he was being more than just friendly!

I had always been attracted to Daryl, but was now in the middle of a breakup with the guy I'd been dating for the past 1 1/2 years. When I got home, he and I had "the talk" and ended our relationship. I felt sad and wanted a little time to catch my breath, but Daryl was not interested in waiting. He came to visit the very next weekend, and was soon coming home every weekend to see me. We were soon a couple, and by December he had decided to quit his job and return to graduate school in January, choosing the University of Michigan because I was still there. I graduated in May 1986, we got engaged in November 1986, and married in May 1987.

We got married at Greenfield Village, a "village" of over 100 historic buildings in Dearborn, Michigan, that have been rescued, moved and restored by Henry Ford and his descendants. It is open to the public, and there are homes, businesses, shops, schools and churches, furnished and staffed by tour guides wearing period costumes who inform, demonstrate and educate the public about life in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Stay at home gang

Stay at home gang, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

K., T. and A. in the morning, curled up together on a chair.

Off they Come!

Off they Come!, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Underwear on My Head

Underwear on My Head, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Most of my children have gone through a phase where they thought underwear on their head was the funniest thing, and here is A., donning the underwear.

17 months

Pizza Lover, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

At 17 months A. has become a full fledged "person" with many likes and dislikes, which she doesn't hesitate to share with us. Although she doesn't talk much, except to say "Mama!" and one of her sisters' names, she is adept at pointing, grunting, squealing, gesturing and taking us by the hand and showing us--so adept that it is rare when we can't tell what it is she wants.

As you can see, she loves pizza. She also loves oranges--I'd call them her favorite food.

She has unfortunately developed a tactic of banging her forehead on the floor if she doesn't get her way. We have been ignoring this behavior as much as possible and it seems to be lessening.

She's also learned to hit and to provoke. She likes to follow poor K. around and hit him for no reason.

She enjoys baby dolls, holding, "singing" and rocking them.

We are both still enjoying our nursing relationship, and she still wakes once or twice at night to nurse, something she enjoys more than I do!

She likes rough play, being turned upside down, bounced and tickled wildly, etc. Her favorite "game" is peekaboo.

She is cute and funny most of the time, and we all adore her.

Paula and A

Paula and A, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

My baby and I.

J's 12th bday

J's 12th bday, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

J. turned 12 in March (I realize I'm somewhat behind!) There is so much to say about her. She is both my sweetest, easiest child to deal with and my most difficult. It is fair to say that she is intense and feels things deeply. Most days I can't live without her, but many days it is difficult to live with her.

She is a talented writer, creative artist, and perfectionist, as well as a slightly obsessive-compulsive, very disorganized perfectionist. This means that all of her projects are masterpieces, but that they are barely completed on time, a huge mess is created and sleep is lost. Daryl says she has inherited both his and my worst characteristics!

Sensitive and loyal, she is adored by everyone. She is also a worrier and insomniac.

She believes in love and family. She makes sure the table is set nicely, lights candles, calls us all to dinner and makes people put away any reading material so that we can have a "family dinner." Although we jokingly call her the "dinner police" we all secretly enjoy it.

She can be both my most helpful and my most demanding, often at the same time, or within the same hour.

Life wouldn't be complete without her!

Living in My Own Little World

I picked up a postcard last week that had the saying "I'm living in my own little world, but it's OK, they know me here!" It struck me as both hilarious and particularly appropriate for me.

I got another one at the same time which says "Don't bother me--I'm busy living happily ever after." Not as funny, but I liked it.

Running

I ran in another race last Sunday, a 4 mile event. I finished in 39 minutes, 18 seconds. I ran with a friend and we had a good time. The weather was nice, cool and sunny. When I ran on Friday it was warm (low 70s) and muggy and I was so HOT! I absolutely HATE to be hot, and I'm thinking that, unlike most people, I will need to get a treadmill so that I can run indoors during the summer, not winter!

Running is a theme in my life right now, because it seems that I am constantly running somewhere. I can't remember the last time I was not in a hurry. Even when I'm out having a good time, I generally have a schedule to keep and somewhere I have to be at a certain time.

Epilogue

No sooner had I clicked "publish" on the previous post then my almost 14 year old son D. came downstairs to tell me that he could not attend morning track practice because he'd gotten sick the night before. I had been asleep when he arrived home very late from a birthday party (it was a sleepover, but he didn't stay due to practice the next morning). He told Daryl his stomach was upset, but Daryl surmised it was from eating a lot of junk food, and did NOT have him take a bowl upstairs. And yes, he barfed on the floor during the night. I thought he was old enough to make it to the bathroom, but he has always been an extremely sound sleeper, so he may have been caught by surprise.

Somehow, I was not as caught up in feelings of how lucky I have him to clean up after as I was with the little ones! (I adore him, don't get me wrong, but...) Luckily, he and Daryl took care of the mess.

By late that afternoon,D. was feeling fine, although rather tired, and J. had a terrible stomachache. She laid in bed, complaining of how badly it hurt, and after several hours fell asleep, and was better in the morning.

That leaves just the two girls, I. and T., untouched thus far. I'll keep you posted!

Dodged the Bullet

By Tuesday I was feeling pretty confident that I had not caught the stomach flu, despite being barfed upon. Then Tuesday night A. woke in the night and barfed all over me, and our bed, and the floor. Daryl says my name means "Mother who gets barfed on by her small children." Truthfully, I don't know how to say this without coming off as rather strange, but lately I have felt so truly blessed to have my children, that it almost seemed like a privilege to be barfed on. It is a privilege to have these marvelous beings in my life, and a privilege to care for them when they are ill. Not that I enjoyed it, but I didn't really mind it.

The night A. got sick, I'd shared a popsicle with her before she went to bed. Then my stomach got upset and I went to bed early. It was churning and roiling throughout the night. The next day I felt fine, although tired. I ate cautiously, avoiding dairy and sticking mostly with bland bready food, but by dinner time, I decided to be daring and had pizza followed by a Dove bar for dessert. That was a mistake. I spent another night with a churning stomach. The next day I remained careful all day and that seems to have been it. I must have fought the germ off! Yeah!

So maybe I didn't completely dodge the bullet, but it was the mildest case of the stomach flu I've ever had.

36 Hours and Counting

since I was barfed on, that is. I am so hoping NOT to get this stomach bug, but I was rather pessimistic. So far, so good, however. (knock on wood!)

K. unfortunately lost it Saturday night immediately after consuming a drinkable yogurt, all over our velvet couch. At least they are removable cushion covers, but they cost a fortune to dry clean.

Spring Break

is over. Boohoo! We didn't do anything very exotic or exciting, but had a nice time together. We went bowling, shopping, out to eat, and to the Toledo zoo. We had friends over and watched movies and ate homemade cookies. Daryl had to work late and was out of town, so missed most it, unfortunately.

Back to the grind, and the beginning of the outdoor soccer season (practices, no games yet). UGH! Can I say that again with more emphasis?

Hat and Shoe Fetish

IMG_1164, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

When you LOVE shoes and your big brother gets a new pair, you have to carry them around for a while, pretending they are yours, along with your other most precious item, your blankie. This is best done while wearing some of your favorite headgear.

Pleased as punch

Pleased as punch, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Sisters

Sisters, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

One of A's favorite things to do is play the piano, and it's even more fun with her sister J. at her side.

Forgiveness

The homily our priest gave last Sunday during mass was about forgiveness. I struggle with this. I often say that I have forgiven someone, but I hold their offenses in my heart, and have trouble letting go of them, even though I may want to. Evidence of this are the Truly Hurtful Remarks I mentioned in my previous post about comments that parents of large families receive and my Rant post relating what a man said to me in church. As part of my attempt to really let those hurtful things go, I have removed them from my blog, in the hopes that true forgiveness will follow. (Although maybe forgiving and forgetting are two different things?) If I've truly forgiven, will the memory still make me feel hurt or angry?

Comebacks

Although I have been getting mouthier as I get older, and maybe one day I will actually say this comeback to someone, in general I am not the type to say it, but this is what I think and would LIKE to say to the rude comments about having a large family:

You only have 2 (or 1)? Didn't you like the way the first two are turning out, so you didn't have any more?

Large Family Comments

The last large family topic posted was the comments that we receive about our family size.

Here's my take on it:

Negative Remarks

Of course, I get all of the same remarks as other parents of large families:

Don't you know how that happens?

Better you than me?

Are you "done"?



Incredulous Remarks

How do you do it?

You must be so patient!

I can barely handle my 2 (or 1, or 3 or ....)--I can't imagine 7!

Your grocery bill must be enormous!


Nice Remarks

You have a beautiful family. (This remark is often made by an older person, who then shares with me that they raised a large family, and how special it was/is.)

Your children are so well-behaved!

It doesn't even seem like there are 7 of them!

I am one of 7 (or 6 or 8 or....) and it was SO much fun! (I get this one a LOT, and only once have I had a young woman share that she did NOT like being part of a large family. I find this remark very affirming, that adults who were once children in a large family will take the time to stop and tell me how great it was.)



Overall, I get a lot of incredulous looks, but probably as many or more nice remarks as negative ones. Daryl, who works in a university setting, gets a lot of remarks, because academics in general have very few children, so he is truly an anomaly. Yet he is one of the most "productive" (pun intended!) in his field!

Paula Needs

I just came across a very silly meme, so I thought I'd do it.

Type your name followed by the word "needs" into google and list the first 10 things that come up.

1. Paula needs coffee to start every working day.
2. Paula's needs are so over the top.
3. Paula needs help.
4. Paula needs to cover the 'girls' up.
5. Paula needs to apologize (for being drunk on live TV.)
6. Paula needs to do more.
7. Paula needs to go.
8. Paula needs "new blood."
9. Paula needs to walk off into the sunset.
10.Paula needs to be voted off.

I think these are all about either Paula Zahn or Paula Abdul, mostly the latter. Only #1 really applies to me!

Serendipity

Yesterday I had the most exciting thing happen to me, and the way it came about was truly serendipitous! (If you haven't seen the movie by the name Serendipity, starring John Cusack, do! It's a terrific romance--fun and funny.)

I took J. to a doctor's appointment in Ann Arbor. She was seeing a specialist, so of course we waited 2+ hours in the office. (She is totally fine, btw.) I was in such a stupor by the time we left that I went immediately to a coffee shop to get coffee. I chose a place slightly out of my way, but where they have fabulous pastries. I parked about a block away from the shop due to a preponderance of one way streets which made it impossible to get any closer without going around the block. We were walking along in front of the farmer's market area, deserted at this time of day, when we saw a woman sitting on the ground. Another woman was standing and talking to her. It looked like she might need help, but I wasn't sure. As we got closer the standing woman motioned me over. The sitting woman had fallen and had a large gash on her cheek. They asked if we could go in the nearby store and get a cloth to clean the abrasion off with.

We entered the store and I saw a woman I recognized. My foggy brain thought, "Oh, it's Valerie," and almost kept walking, when I snapped to attention. Valerie is one of my freshman year dormitory roommates that I lost touch with and have been attempting to find for several years. I tapped her on the shoulder. "Valerie?" "Paula!" Much hugging and exclaiming ensued.

After a few minutes I remembered that I was supposed to be helping someone--so much for being a Good Samaritan! I got some ice and a clean cloth from the store (a meat and produce market, luckily) and took them outside to the injured woman.

Then Valerie and J. and I walked to the coffee shop, doing a little bit of catching up and exchanging phone numbers. I was so excited that I managed to immediately misplace her number and had to ask her for it again! She gave it to me, but told me, "Don't worry--you don't need it because I am going to call you."

I last saw Valerie on my wedding day almost 19 years ago! Last I knew she was living and working in Washington DC as an attorney.

Such serendipity: If I hadn't stopped for coffee, if I'd parked elsewhere, if the woman hadn't fallen and needed my help, I wouldn't have found her! I have googled her dozens of times in recent years, and even sent a random email to a woman that I believed was one of her sisters!

This event made my week. I know that we will resume our friendship and that makes me very happy.

Lent

This year I have decided to give up sweets/desserts, something I've never tried before. I'm hoping that that, combined with the running I've been doing, will lead to a svelter me by Easter. I'm also reading the "Little Black Book" of daily Lenten meditations/scripture put out by our Archdiocese.

Work Day

Last Thursday we had the day off from school due to icy roads. No snow, however, so that there wasn't anything entertaining to do. So we cleaned out toy chests, emptying 2 of them while filling 2 garbage bags and 2 give away bags. We also changed the sheets on all beds (something that gets done less often than I'm willing to admit!) and cleaned out all of the outgrown clothes from dresser drawers. Whew!

As a reward, I'd offered a trip to Dairy Queen (which opened March 1 and they have been bugging me every day since) and the library. I've been avoiding the library because I'd racked up some unbelievable fines (they will be naming a wing of the new library after us) but I decided that was ridiculous. I am now on the 12 Step Library program, beginning with "Make Restitution." Ouch! is all I can say.

Dairy Queen, which has only outdoor seating, which was covered with snow on this very cold day, was a most unpleasant experience. We had to eat in the van, of course, and they still complained that they were freezing. You won't catch me back there until it's shorts weather.

Dennis

The Menace, that is! What happened to my sweet, cooperative little 2.75 year old boy? In the past week he has begun experimenting with disobedience and mischief, doing things like:

-Opening the door on his mother while she is in the bathroom (pocket door that doesn't lock), then refusing to close it again and running away, cackling.

-Getting out of bed during naptime and hiding in his sister's bedroom, eating her secret stash of Valentine candy.

-Pouring a glass of milk into the fish tank.

-Saying no and being noncompliant whenever possible.


And as for potty training, some days he does terrific, others are a string of accidents. Good thing I do a lot of laundry! And as for #2, he won't even consider doing that in the potty.

(Sigh). When will my nice little boy be back?

Bedtime and Chores

I have decided to combine the Bedtime (from last week) and Chores topics because for me, they have a common theme: My husband is often not here and not helping, so I am (attempting to) handle it alone.

Ahh, I remember the days so fondly now when bedtime was 8pm and all children actually went to bed near that time. That seems like an impossible fantasy now.

We eat dinner on the late side--7pm or later, due to the schedules. Even if we don't wait for someone to eat, the food isn't ready sooner because the cook has been driving around during dinner prep time. After dinner everyone has a chore and is supposed to pack backpacks, etc. (the "list" described in the organization post), get on pjs,and brush teeth. So imagine me driving around (an average of 3 trips per night if Daryl isn't available, sometimes as many as 6!), making dinner, sitting down and eating dinner wiith kids, doing baths and toothbrushing and pajamas, helping with homework, reviewing school paperwork, supervising dinner chores, and reading aloud without any adult assistance. I'm not complaining, just trying to describe it accurately so that it is understood that I can't do it all speedily and efficiently and perfectly.

After dinner chores and "list" they listen to me read a chapter of a book (ideally at 8:30pm or so, but usually I don't start reading until 9pm) and go to bed. If only it were so simple...

Little A. does go to bed between 8 and 8:30pm. She is not old enough to complain, manuever or scheme, however. She still wakes up 2-4x a night to nurse. She is in a crib in a room adjoining ours (like a suite). I have always loved the idea of a family bed but have never done it, mostly because I am a "princess and the pea" type who can't sleep while being kicked, etc. by a toddler.

K., who is 2.5, goes to bed at 8pm (or even before) if he hasn't had a nap. Most days he does nap, however, and he goes to bed between 9 and 9:30pm. He is fixated on having Mommy do everything for him, so Daddy can't put on his pjs or read him a book. Since A. wants only me as well, and usually at least one other person has a problem only I can solve, this slows down the entire bedtime process, because, amazing and special as I am, I can really only do one thing at a time. After he gets his pjs on, I read him 2 books, nurse him a little bit, and then his older sister tucks him in, first singing him Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Only she can do this, in his opinion. We refer to it as "twinkling" him.

T., who is 5, but in afternoon kindergarten, stays up too late--till 9:30 or later, but she sleeps in until 9am or sometimes later. She puts on her own pjs after many reminders and either listens to me read a chapter book or I read her a picture book. She resists getting ready for bed until everyone else does.

As a point of reference for bedtimes, the elementary school bunch has to get up at 7:30am to catch an 8:30 bus.

I. who is 8, also needs a LOT of prodding. She does her dinner chore SO slowly, stops so many times for distractions and must be reminded/threatened a LOT. By the time she gets ready for bed it is at least 9pm, usually around 9:30, occasionally as late as 10pm.

L., who is 10, is the best about getting ready for bed. He does his dinner chore fairly speedily, and then goes out with J. to feed his rabbit, followed by the "list" and getting ready. Then he goes to bed, by 9:30pm at the latest.

The oldest 2, described below, need to get up around 6:30am to catch a 7:10am bus.

J. is the worst. She takes an astonishing amount of time to get ready for bed, visiting the bathroom at least 3 times. Often she still has homework to complete after dinner, her dinner chore, showering, the "list" and a variety of obsessive/compulsive activities she must complete before retiring, like lotioning her hands, making sure the dog has gone out and come back in, bidding Daryl and I goodnight several times, etc. It is usually 10:30 before she gets to bed, and she needs more sleep than she gets.

D. is very self-regulating and goes to bed when tired, after completing his chores and homework. He may go to bed early if he is tired, or stay up and watch a sports event on TV for a while. He never has trouble getting up on time and is never late.


The dinner chores rotate weekly and are just written on a sheet of paper. Any chore that needs to be done more than once a day is done each time by the same person. Every Sunday I cross out the names and bump everyone up the chore list.

The 5 year old's chores do not rotate--she has the same chores every week: Unload the dishwasher and set the dinner table. If it needs to be unloaded more than once, then she does it more than once. Any dishes she can't reach to put away, she leaves in the dishwasher and the loader will put them away.

The other sets of chores are as follows:

1) Sweep
Feed dog

2) Clear and wipe table and counters.

3) Load dishwasher.
Watch/entertain K. and A. during dinner prep.

4) Cooks Helper.
Take out trash and recycling.

If someone is not home when a job needs to be done, I usually do it. Some jobs can wait until they get home, like clearing and wiping the table or sweeping.

Everyone is supposed to keep their own room clean (usually means rooms are messy).

We all work together at picking up the house.

I do all the laundry, and once upon a time, we had a rule that boys brought down their laundry on Monday, girls on Wednesday, and on Friday I did my laundry. No one ever actually brought down their laundry on the appointed day, however, so now they just bring it down when they need clean clothes. Frequently this means they don't have clean clothes, or not the ones they want, because they haven't brought down a hamper in 2 weeks. I do not stay up late doing laundry on these occasions (when they bring the hamper down at 9pm and want clean clothes for tomorrow!) but I have taught the 2 eldest to do their own if they need to.

And my dirty little secret...I have someone clean for me. She vacuums, dusts, does bathrooms, kitchen. She does not clean kids' rooms if they are messy. She doesn't do laundry or dishes or pick up toys, although she will push things out of the way!