#5 Turns 6!

T. turned 6 on Saturday, Apr. 22 (and I'm still behind!) It is a tradition in our extended family to throw a birthday party for each child and invite the extended family. This was planned for Saturday evening. On Saturday morning, she had a small party with 3 friends. It was her first friend party, and was significant because she is a slow bloomer socially, and didn't have many friends until this past year. Since her birthday fell on Earth Day, I got clay pots for the kids to paint, which we then planted a pansy in. They each had their potted flower, a spade and a watering can to take home, in lieu of those "goody bags" of absolute junk commonly distributed at parties. And the kids were so excited that they got to keep their spades and watering cans (acquired at Target before Easter for $1.00 each). I had planned that they would play Pin the Tail on the Dog (made by her big sister J) and musical chairs while we waited for the paint to dry, but it was difficult to generate interest. We did play one halfhearted game of Pin the Tail on the Dog, and then they went outside to play. We had pizza and birthday cheesecake for lunch (T's choice) and then opened gifts and that was the end. Short and sweet!

T. felt that she also wanted to have a private celebration with just her parents and siblings. Usually we do this on the actual day, and any friend or extended family parties are on the weekend, but since her birthday fell on Saturday the day was full. So we opted to have the small family celebration on Friday night. During the day on Friday she'd also celebrated her birthday at school, with cookies she brought in.

The only gift suggestion she had mentioned was that she wanted a globe. Three times we had this conversation: "You mean a globe of the earth?" "No, I mean a globe that plays music and has snow in it." "Oh." For some reason it was impossible for her harried and distracted mother to remember this, so I did ask her the same thing several more times on different days, to which she replied, "I already told you this!"

I looked at snow globes online, and saw some that were nice, but not compelling. I waited until several days before her birthday and called 3 local gift shops, none of which currently carried snow globes, although I'd seen them there in the past. Of course, it was now too late to order a snow globe online.

The other gift that I wanted to give her was a scooter. Not a small razor style scooter, but a large bicycle sized scooter with hand brakes. Years ago I had given scooters to 2 of the older kids, and I just found them in a bike shop. Once again, I called around to the NUMEROUS bike shops in my area, and not one carried scooters in stock, although many of the shops said they could order them. Panicked, I began calling shops further and further away, and found one in a shop about an hour's drive away. Thankfully, the bike shop was in a town near my mother-in-law's house, so I asked her to pick up the scooter for me. She was coming her Friday night anyway to attend D's track meet.

When I mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was also looking for a snow globe, she went to her local mall where she found 2 gift shops that carried them, and one had a huge variety and they were on sale 50% off! She bought one for me, and it was absolutely perfect! It had dogs both inside the globe and on the base, which turned while it played "Memories", and snow glitter inside. T's favorite thing is dogs. She has never liked dolls or traditional girly toys, nor does she care for cars, action figures or other "boy" toys. She already has a huge collection of stuffed animal dogs, so it was difficult to come up with new gift ideas for her.

I think she enjoyed all of her birthday celebrations, but was exhausted by the end, as was I. Being a foodie, I usually insist on only homemade birthday treats and cakes, but this time she took store bought cookies to school, and I bought the cheesecake, although I did put a yogurt and fresh fruit topping on it to make it look like a flower. She chose steak caesar salad for dinner on Friday night and I made a red velvet birthday cake. For breakfast on Saturday she requested puffed oven pancakes with fruit on top. We served hamburgers and hotdogs and potato chips for dinner (no salads or side dishes--how lame is that?) at the extended family party, followed by store bought ice cream cake.

T. herself is somewhat of an enigma. My only dark eyed child, and my only child born with a head full of hair! She is fiercely loyal and devoted to the family, and often mentions how much she loves her family. She is very sweet, extremely intelligent, and slightly immature for her age. I think this may arise from having been the baby of the family for more than 3 years. Often when challenged, disagreed with, scolded, or asked to do something she doesn't want to, she bursts into tears in an attempt to manipulate us. She is very astute about people and relationships and understands far more than she lets on. Somewhat timid, she does not enjoy rough play, being upside down, or things like that, and has yet to learn to ride a bike or to swim even a little.

She is a good playmate to her younger siblings and can be an able assistant to me when she wants to. She is generally happy and very loving. She is a person for whom still waters do run deep, and I am so curious to see who she will become!

Inside of Eagle Tavern

Inside of Eagle Tavern, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The reception dinner was served family style, by servers wearing period costumes. Although the building has modern plumbing and electricity, the tavern is lit only by hurricane lanterns on the tables and candelabra rather than electric lighting, giving it that historical feel.

Eagle Tavern

Eagle Tavern, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The reception took place in the Eagle Tavern, a short walk down a brick lined path from the chapel.

Martha Mary Chapel

Martha Mary Chapel, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

We were married in the Martha Mary Chapel. Our wedding took place on a Sunday evening, Mother's Day. About 120 guests attended our wedding and reception.

19 Years!

On May 10 Daryl and I celebrated 19 years of marriage. They have been blissfully, blessedly happy. Of course, we have had an occasional disagreement and a few bumps in the road, but have not had any major marital woes or personal tragedies to contend with. I cannot believe how lucky I am, to have found him, my soul mate, the only man I was ever able to be truly "me" with.

We met in a co-ed student rental house in Ann Arbor at the beginning of my junior/his senior year (fall 1984). Four friends and I had signed a lease for the 6 bedroom house the previous spring knowing we needed to find a 6th roomate in order for the house to be affordable. When we moved in that fall, we hung an ad on a bulletin board at the student union, and had a series of bizarre cretins somewhat unusual people come to our door to inquire about the room for rent. We were all liberal arts students, who didn't think much of a math oriented major like engineering, but by the time Daryl came to the door, he looked terrific by comparison to some of the previous would-be roomates. I wasn't home when he came by, but the others approved him in my absence, and told me "He's an engineer, but he's OK."

When I met him, what I thought was "Wow! He's cute!" So did all of my girlfriends, one of whom dated him briefly that year. I had a serious boyfriend at the time, so Daryl and I became close friends. As the school year drew to a close in the spring, both he and my boyfriend, (they were now acquaintances through me), another engineer, both got jobs at Arthur-Andersen and began commuting to work together. After a short time on the job, Daryl was transferred to the Chicago office. He called and came to visit often, including a special trip for my 21st birthday.

In the fall of 1985, my relationship with my boyfriend was on the rocks. I was applying to graduate school and needed to take the GRE exam. The day the test was being given locally was the date of my aunt's wedding in Chicago, so I arranged to go to Chicago early and take the test there, where it was offered the day before her wedding. I had asked Daryl to be my date to her wedding, as I had been his date to a wedding several months before. Sadly, the wedding was called off about a week before it was to take place. It was too late to change the test date at that point, so I travelled to Chicago, took the test, and visited with my aunt, who was having a difficult time. I also visited Daryl one evening. We met downtown, where he lived in a highrise apartment. He took me to the top of the John Hancock building for a drink, out for a Mexican dinner, and then to a blues bar to listen to music. It was a rainy, misty evening and I was wearing a cape I'd borrowed from my aunt. Several times he put his arm around me, and I thought he was being friendly, but when he kissed me I realized that he was being more than just friendly!

I had always been attracted to Daryl, but was now in the middle of a breakup with the guy I'd been dating for the past 1 1/2 years. When I got home, he and I had "the talk" and ended our relationship. I felt sad and wanted a little time to catch my breath, but Daryl was not interested in waiting. He came to visit the very next weekend, and was soon coming home every weekend to see me. We were soon a couple, and by December he had decided to quit his job and return to graduate school in January, choosing the University of Michigan because I was still there. I graduated in May 1986, we got engaged in November 1986, and married in May 1987.

We got married at Greenfield Village, a "village" of over 100 historic buildings in Dearborn, Michigan, that have been rescued, moved and restored by Henry Ford and his descendants. It is open to the public, and there are homes, businesses, shops, schools and churches, furnished and staffed by tour guides wearing period costumes who inform, demonstrate and educate the public about life in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Stay at home gang

Stay at home gang, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

K., T. and A. in the morning, curled up together on a chair.

Off they Come!

Off they Come!, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Underwear on My Head

Underwear on My Head, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Most of my children have gone through a phase where they thought underwear on their head was the funniest thing, and here is A., donning the underwear.

17 months

Pizza Lover, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

At 17 months A. has become a full fledged "person" with many likes and dislikes, which she doesn't hesitate to share with us. Although she doesn't talk much, except to say "Mama!" and one of her sisters' names, she is adept at pointing, grunting, squealing, gesturing and taking us by the hand and showing us--so adept that it is rare when we can't tell what it is she wants.

As you can see, she loves pizza. She also loves oranges--I'd call them her favorite food.

She has unfortunately developed a tactic of banging her forehead on the floor if she doesn't get her way. We have been ignoring this behavior as much as possible and it seems to be lessening.

She's also learned to hit and to provoke. She likes to follow poor K. around and hit him for no reason.

She enjoys baby dolls, holding, "singing" and rocking them.

We are both still enjoying our nursing relationship, and she still wakes once or twice at night to nurse, something she enjoys more than I do!

She likes rough play, being turned upside down, bounced and tickled wildly, etc. Her favorite "game" is peekaboo.

She is cute and funny most of the time, and we all adore her.

Paula and A

Paula and A, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

My baby and I.

J's 12th bday

J's 12th bday, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

J. turned 12 in March (I realize I'm somewhat behind!) There is so much to say about her. She is both my sweetest, easiest child to deal with and my most difficult. It is fair to say that she is intense and feels things deeply. Most days I can't live without her, but many days it is difficult to live with her.

She is a talented writer, creative artist, and perfectionist, as well as a slightly obsessive-compulsive, very disorganized perfectionist. This means that all of her projects are masterpieces, but that they are barely completed on time, a huge mess is created and sleep is lost. Daryl says she has inherited both his and my worst characteristics!

Sensitive and loyal, she is adored by everyone. She is also a worrier and insomniac.

She believes in love and family. She makes sure the table is set nicely, lights candles, calls us all to dinner and makes people put away any reading material so that we can have a "family dinner." Although we jokingly call her the "dinner police" we all secretly enjoy it.

She can be both my most helpful and my most demanding, often at the same time, or within the same hour.

Life wouldn't be complete without her!

Living in My Own Little World

I picked up a postcard last week that had the saying "I'm living in my own little world, but it's OK, they know me here!" It struck me as both hilarious and particularly appropriate for me.

I got another one at the same time which says "Don't bother me--I'm busy living happily ever after." Not as funny, but I liked it.

Running

I ran in another race last Sunday, a 4 mile event. I finished in 39 minutes, 18 seconds. I ran with a friend and we had a good time. The weather was nice, cool and sunny. When I ran on Friday it was warm (low 70s) and muggy and I was so HOT! I absolutely HATE to be hot, and I'm thinking that, unlike most people, I will need to get a treadmill so that I can run indoors during the summer, not winter!

Running is a theme in my life right now, because it seems that I am constantly running somewhere. I can't remember the last time I was not in a hurry. Even when I'm out having a good time, I generally have a schedule to keep and somewhere I have to be at a certain time.

Epilogue

No sooner had I clicked "publish" on the previous post then my almost 14 year old son D. came downstairs to tell me that he could not attend morning track practice because he'd gotten sick the night before. I had been asleep when he arrived home very late from a birthday party (it was a sleepover, but he didn't stay due to practice the next morning). He told Daryl his stomach was upset, but Daryl surmised it was from eating a lot of junk food, and did NOT have him take a bowl upstairs. And yes, he barfed on the floor during the night. I thought he was old enough to make it to the bathroom, but he has always been an extremely sound sleeper, so he may have been caught by surprise.

Somehow, I was not as caught up in feelings of how lucky I have him to clean up after as I was with the little ones! (I adore him, don't get me wrong, but...) Luckily, he and Daryl took care of the mess.

By late that afternoon,D. was feeling fine, although rather tired, and J. had a terrible stomachache. She laid in bed, complaining of how badly it hurt, and after several hours fell asleep, and was better in the morning.

That leaves just the two girls, I. and T., untouched thus far. I'll keep you posted!

Dodged the Bullet

By Tuesday I was feeling pretty confident that I had not caught the stomach flu, despite being barfed upon. Then Tuesday night A. woke in the night and barfed all over me, and our bed, and the floor. Daryl says my name means "Mother who gets barfed on by her small children." Truthfully, I don't know how to say this without coming off as rather strange, but lately I have felt so truly blessed to have my children, that it almost seemed like a privilege to be barfed on. It is a privilege to have these marvelous beings in my life, and a privilege to care for them when they are ill. Not that I enjoyed it, but I didn't really mind it.

The night A. got sick, I'd shared a popsicle with her before she went to bed. Then my stomach got upset and I went to bed early. It was churning and roiling throughout the night. The next day I felt fine, although tired. I ate cautiously, avoiding dairy and sticking mostly with bland bready food, but by dinner time, I decided to be daring and had pizza followed by a Dove bar for dessert. That was a mistake. I spent another night with a churning stomach. The next day I remained careful all day and that seems to have been it. I must have fought the germ off! Yeah!

So maybe I didn't completely dodge the bullet, but it was the mildest case of the stomach flu I've ever had.

36 Hours and Counting

since I was barfed on, that is. I am so hoping NOT to get this stomach bug, but I was rather pessimistic. So far, so good, however. (knock on wood!)

K. unfortunately lost it Saturday night immediately after consuming a drinkable yogurt, all over our velvet couch. At least they are removable cushion covers, but they cost a fortune to dry clean.

Spring Break

is over. Boohoo! We didn't do anything very exotic or exciting, but had a nice time together. We went bowling, shopping, out to eat, and to the Toledo zoo. We had friends over and watched movies and ate homemade cookies. Daryl had to work late and was out of town, so missed most it, unfortunately.

Back to the grind, and the beginning of the outdoor soccer season (practices, no games yet). UGH! Can I say that again with more emphasis?

Hat and Shoe Fetish

IMG_1164, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

When you LOVE shoes and your big brother gets a new pair, you have to carry them around for a while, pretending they are yours, along with your other most precious item, your blankie. This is best done while wearing some of your favorite headgear.

Pleased as punch

Pleased as punch, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Sisters

Sisters, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

One of A's favorite things to do is play the piano, and it's even more fun with her sister J. at her side.

Forgiveness

The homily our priest gave last Sunday during mass was about forgiveness. I struggle with this. I often say that I have forgiven someone, but I hold their offenses in my heart, and have trouble letting go of them, even though I may want to. Evidence of this are the Truly Hurtful Remarks I mentioned in my previous post about comments that parents of large families receive and my Rant post relating what a man said to me in church. As part of my attempt to really let those hurtful things go, I have removed them from my blog, in the hopes that true forgiveness will follow. (Although maybe forgiving and forgetting are two different things?) If I've truly forgiven, will the memory still make me feel hurt or angry?

Comebacks

Although I have been getting mouthier as I get older, and maybe one day I will actually say this comeback to someone, in general I am not the type to say it, but this is what I think and would LIKE to say to the rude comments about having a large family:

You only have 2 (or 1)? Didn't you like the way the first two are turning out, so you didn't have any more?

Large Family Comments

The last large family topic posted was the comments that we receive about our family size.

Here's my take on it:

Negative Remarks

Of course, I get all of the same remarks as other parents of large families:

Don't you know how that happens?

Better you than me?

Are you "done"?



Incredulous Remarks

How do you do it?

You must be so patient!

I can barely handle my 2 (or 1, or 3 or ....)--I can't imagine 7!

Your grocery bill must be enormous!


Nice Remarks

You have a beautiful family. (This remark is often made by an older person, who then shares with me that they raised a large family, and how special it was/is.)

Your children are so well-behaved!

It doesn't even seem like there are 7 of them!

I am one of 7 (or 6 or 8 or....) and it was SO much fun! (I get this one a LOT, and only once have I had a young woman share that she did NOT like being part of a large family. I find this remark very affirming, that adults who were once children in a large family will take the time to stop and tell me how great it was.)



Overall, I get a lot of incredulous looks, but probably as many or more nice remarks as negative ones. Daryl, who works in a university setting, gets a lot of remarks, because academics in general have very few children, so he is truly an anomaly. Yet he is one of the most "productive" (pun intended!) in his field!

Paula Needs

I just came across a very silly meme, so I thought I'd do it.

Type your name followed by the word "needs" into google and list the first 10 things that come up.

1. Paula needs coffee to start every working day.
2. Paula's needs are so over the top.
3. Paula needs help.
4. Paula needs to cover the 'girls' up.
5. Paula needs to apologize (for being drunk on live TV.)
6. Paula needs to do more.
7. Paula needs to go.
8. Paula needs "new blood."
9. Paula needs to walk off into the sunset.
10.Paula needs to be voted off.

I think these are all about either Paula Zahn or Paula Abdul, mostly the latter. Only #1 really applies to me!

Serendipity

Yesterday I had the most exciting thing happen to me, and the way it came about was truly serendipitous! (If you haven't seen the movie by the name Serendipity, starring John Cusack, do! It's a terrific romance--fun and funny.)

I took J. to a doctor's appointment in Ann Arbor. She was seeing a specialist, so of course we waited 2+ hours in the office. (She is totally fine, btw.) I was in such a stupor by the time we left that I went immediately to a coffee shop to get coffee. I chose a place slightly out of my way, but where they have fabulous pastries. I parked about a block away from the shop due to a preponderance of one way streets which made it impossible to get any closer without going around the block. We were walking along in front of the farmer's market area, deserted at this time of day, when we saw a woman sitting on the ground. Another woman was standing and talking to her. It looked like she might need help, but I wasn't sure. As we got closer the standing woman motioned me over. The sitting woman had fallen and had a large gash on her cheek. They asked if we could go in the nearby store and get a cloth to clean the abrasion off with.

We entered the store and I saw a woman I recognized. My foggy brain thought, "Oh, it's Valerie," and almost kept walking, when I snapped to attention. Valerie is one of my freshman year dormitory roommates that I lost touch with and have been attempting to find for several years. I tapped her on the shoulder. "Valerie?" "Paula!" Much hugging and exclaiming ensued.

After a few minutes I remembered that I was supposed to be helping someone--so much for being a Good Samaritan! I got some ice and a clean cloth from the store (a meat and produce market, luckily) and took them outside to the injured woman.

Then Valerie and J. and I walked to the coffee shop, doing a little bit of catching up and exchanging phone numbers. I was so excited that I managed to immediately misplace her number and had to ask her for it again! She gave it to me, but told me, "Don't worry--you don't need it because I am going to call you."

I last saw Valerie on my wedding day almost 19 years ago! Last I knew she was living and working in Washington DC as an attorney.

Such serendipity: If I hadn't stopped for coffee, if I'd parked elsewhere, if the woman hadn't fallen and needed my help, I wouldn't have found her! I have googled her dozens of times in recent years, and even sent a random email to a woman that I believed was one of her sisters!

This event made my week. I know that we will resume our friendship and that makes me very happy.

Lent

This year I have decided to give up sweets/desserts, something I've never tried before. I'm hoping that that, combined with the running I've been doing, will lead to a svelter me by Easter. I'm also reading the "Little Black Book" of daily Lenten meditations/scripture put out by our Archdiocese.

Work Day

Last Thursday we had the day off from school due to icy roads. No snow, however, so that there wasn't anything entertaining to do. So we cleaned out toy chests, emptying 2 of them while filling 2 garbage bags and 2 give away bags. We also changed the sheets on all beds (something that gets done less often than I'm willing to admit!) and cleaned out all of the outgrown clothes from dresser drawers. Whew!

As a reward, I'd offered a trip to Dairy Queen (which opened March 1 and they have been bugging me every day since) and the library. I've been avoiding the library because I'd racked up some unbelievable fines (they will be naming a wing of the new library after us) but I decided that was ridiculous. I am now on the 12 Step Library program, beginning with "Make Restitution." Ouch! is all I can say.

Dairy Queen, which has only outdoor seating, which was covered with snow on this very cold day, was a most unpleasant experience. We had to eat in the van, of course, and they still complained that they were freezing. You won't catch me back there until it's shorts weather.

Dennis

The Menace, that is! What happened to my sweet, cooperative little 2.75 year old boy? In the past week he has begun experimenting with disobedience and mischief, doing things like:

-Opening the door on his mother while she is in the bathroom (pocket door that doesn't lock), then refusing to close it again and running away, cackling.

-Getting out of bed during naptime and hiding in his sister's bedroom, eating her secret stash of Valentine candy.

-Pouring a glass of milk into the fish tank.

-Saying no and being noncompliant whenever possible.


And as for potty training, some days he does terrific, others are a string of accidents. Good thing I do a lot of laundry! And as for #2, he won't even consider doing that in the potty.

(Sigh). When will my nice little boy be back?

Bedtime and Chores

I have decided to combine the Bedtime (from last week) and Chores topics because for me, they have a common theme: My husband is often not here and not helping, so I am (attempting to) handle it alone.

Ahh, I remember the days so fondly now when bedtime was 8pm and all children actually went to bed near that time. That seems like an impossible fantasy now.

We eat dinner on the late side--7pm or later, due to the schedules. Even if we don't wait for someone to eat, the food isn't ready sooner because the cook has been driving around during dinner prep time. After dinner everyone has a chore and is supposed to pack backpacks, etc. (the "list" described in the organization post), get on pjs,and brush teeth. So imagine me driving around (an average of 3 trips per night if Daryl isn't available, sometimes as many as 6!), making dinner, sitting down and eating dinner wiith kids, doing baths and toothbrushing and pajamas, helping with homework, reviewing school paperwork, supervising dinner chores, and reading aloud without any adult assistance. I'm not complaining, just trying to describe it accurately so that it is understood that I can't do it all speedily and efficiently and perfectly.

After dinner chores and "list" they listen to me read a chapter of a book (ideally at 8:30pm or so, but usually I don't start reading until 9pm) and go to bed. If only it were so simple...

Little A. does go to bed between 8 and 8:30pm. She is not old enough to complain, manuever or scheme, however. She still wakes up 2-4x a night to nurse. She is in a crib in a room adjoining ours (like a suite). I have always loved the idea of a family bed but have never done it, mostly because I am a "princess and the pea" type who can't sleep while being kicked, etc. by a toddler.

K., who is 2.5, goes to bed at 8pm (or even before) if he hasn't had a nap. Most days he does nap, however, and he goes to bed between 9 and 9:30pm. He is fixated on having Mommy do everything for him, so Daddy can't put on his pjs or read him a book. Since A. wants only me as well, and usually at least one other person has a problem only I can solve, this slows down the entire bedtime process, because, amazing and special as I am, I can really only do one thing at a time. After he gets his pjs on, I read him 2 books, nurse him a little bit, and then his older sister tucks him in, first singing him Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Only she can do this, in his opinion. We refer to it as "twinkling" him.

T., who is 5, but in afternoon kindergarten, stays up too late--till 9:30 or later, but she sleeps in until 9am or sometimes later. She puts on her own pjs after many reminders and either listens to me read a chapter book or I read her a picture book. She resists getting ready for bed until everyone else does.

As a point of reference for bedtimes, the elementary school bunch has to get up at 7:30am to catch an 8:30 bus.

I. who is 8, also needs a LOT of prodding. She does her dinner chore SO slowly, stops so many times for distractions and must be reminded/threatened a LOT. By the time she gets ready for bed it is at least 9pm, usually around 9:30, occasionally as late as 10pm.

L., who is 10, is the best about getting ready for bed. He does his dinner chore fairly speedily, and then goes out with J. to feed his rabbit, followed by the "list" and getting ready. Then he goes to bed, by 9:30pm at the latest.

The oldest 2, described below, need to get up around 6:30am to catch a 7:10am bus.

J. is the worst. She takes an astonishing amount of time to get ready for bed, visiting the bathroom at least 3 times. Often she still has homework to complete after dinner, her dinner chore, showering, the "list" and a variety of obsessive/compulsive activities she must complete before retiring, like lotioning her hands, making sure the dog has gone out and come back in, bidding Daryl and I goodnight several times, etc. It is usually 10:30 before she gets to bed, and she needs more sleep than she gets.

D. is very self-regulating and goes to bed when tired, after completing his chores and homework. He may go to bed early if he is tired, or stay up and watch a sports event on TV for a while. He never has trouble getting up on time and is never late.


The dinner chores rotate weekly and are just written on a sheet of paper. Any chore that needs to be done more than once a day is done each time by the same person. Every Sunday I cross out the names and bump everyone up the chore list.

The 5 year old's chores do not rotate--she has the same chores every week: Unload the dishwasher and set the dinner table. If it needs to be unloaded more than once, then she does it more than once. Any dishes she can't reach to put away, she leaves in the dishwasher and the loader will put them away.

The other sets of chores are as follows:

1) Sweep
Feed dog

2) Clear and wipe table and counters.

3) Load dishwasher.
Watch/entertain K. and A. during dinner prep.

4) Cooks Helper.
Take out trash and recycling.

If someone is not home when a job needs to be done, I usually do it. Some jobs can wait until they get home, like clearing and wiping the table or sweeping.

Everyone is supposed to keep their own room clean (usually means rooms are messy).

We all work together at picking up the house.

I do all the laundry, and once upon a time, we had a rule that boys brought down their laundry on Monday, girls on Wednesday, and on Friday I did my laundry. No one ever actually brought down their laundry on the appointed day, however, so now they just bring it down when they need clean clothes. Frequently this means they don't have clean clothes, or not the ones they want, because they haven't brought down a hamper in 2 weeks. I do not stay up late doing laundry on these occasions (when they bring the hamper down at 9pm and want clean clothes for tomorrow!) but I have taught the 2 eldest to do their own if they need to.

And my dirty little secret...I have someone clean for me. She vacuums, dusts, does bathrooms, kitchen. She does not clean kids' rooms if they are messy. She doesn't do laundry or dishes or pick up toys, although she will push things out of the way!

Potty Training 101

Seems that in the 3 years that have passed since I last potty trained a child, I had forgotten how. For months now we have been talking to K. about this topic and he has been steadfastly refusing to even entertain the idea of sitting on the potty. He is 32 months old, and my kids have all trained between 28 and 34 months, so I felt he was ready, but just not willing. But then yesterday it occurred to me, "Why am I earth am I waiting for him to agree to it?" So I took off his diaper and told him to sit on the potty. Nothing happened, but he didn't resist. Then I dressed him in underwear. He had an accident, so I cleaned him up and put on fresh underwear. I set the timer and had him sit every 30 minutes. Another accident. Naptime came, so he wore a diaper to bed. I told him before he took his nap that he'd sit on the potty right after he woke up (because he usually pees then). He remembered and requested to go as soon as he got up. His diaper felt wet, so I thought we missed it was dubious about whether he still needed to go, but he did! I gave him the promised candy as a reward. He went twice more yesterday, and once on his own--HE informed ME that he had to go!

This morning he was excited to go, and wore underwear all day, having only 2 accidents. He has yet to do a #2 in the potty (that was one of the 2 accidents and man what a mess that is in underwear!) but he has definitely caught on, both to the urge and what he needs to do, and to the candy reward. It is amazing what a tiny amount he is able to squeeze out in order to earn another M&M!

Best Cookies Ever

I tried these Chocolate Chip Angel Cookies fromDomestic Diva in Training
last weekend for part of our Superbowl snacks and they were out of this world. You'll never make another traditional tollhouse again once you try them!

2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla
6 oz. chocolate chips

Mix together the flour, baking soda, cream of tartar and salt. Set aside. Beat together the butter, shortening and sugars. Add egg and vanilla and beat well. Slowly mix in the flour mixture. Add chocolate chips.

Bake at 350 degrees for 8-11 minutes. Take them out of the oven before they look completely done and before they get brown. Cool on a wire rack.

Home Organization

Remaining a week behind, I'll address this topic today.

For me, it is not only about physically having our "stuff" organized, but also about routines and chaos.

Four years ago, after our move to Michigan, we were drowning in chaos and confusion. In part, this was caused by the move. I personally do not adjust well to change, and moving felt like having my entire life put into a blender and mixed up. It took about a year for the dust to settle. During that year, there were many lost library books, late permission slips, and crying children as they walked out the door to catch the bus. The house was also dirty, and the kids slept on mattresses on the floor for almost a year, as it took us that long to get their bunk beds set up, etc. It was a combination of disorganization and just being overwhelmed by moving.

During that time I became a Flylady (www.flylady.org) devotee. A lot of people criticize her technique, don't agree with some of her "rules." I took from her what helped me and ignored the rest. She is doing a fabulous free service. I never created a control journal, or really set up hard and fast weekly schedules/routines. I did, however, internalize many of her suggestions and ideas. I broke tasks down into smaller pieces (I didn't have to clean the entire refrigerator in one day) and adopted a strict "Do it now!" philosophy. She also helped me manage paper, and, of course, clutter! I no longer participate in the Flylady's system, but have internalized many of her philosophies, so I know I will never be as disorganized as I once was.

Kids' school papers were the bane of my existence. Now, I look at them, if not immediately, the same day. I fill out permisson slips that day, so they won't be lost, or send in money, or whatever is required, so that I don't have to remember to do it later. Most of the paper gets recycled. Any original work of one of the kids that I feel is really special gets saved and put in his/her individual memory box. I recently purchased this with a drawer for each school aged child and one for me to hold important papers like a list of classmates and their phone numbers, grading policies, etc. At the end of the school year I clean them out and toss most of the papers, which are no longer needed.

I have 2 piles for filing, both of which are kept in an empty file cabinet drawer--one is business/tax paperwork and the other is personal stuff. I just stuff anything that I need to keep into the drawer and then once a year I spend an hour or two filing all of it at once. I find this is more efficient for me than to try and find 10 mintues once a week.

I created a bedtime to-do list for the kids, which I need to start enforcing again, as it is being ignored lately. It worked great for the first 2 years, however. I even took clip art and printed small pictures for children too young to read. If they follow the list, they will have laid out clothes, boots, etc., packed backpack with library books or sports equipment, packed a school snack, and read the school menu and decided if they will take or buy their lunch the next day. The list also included the typical bedtime chores of putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, etc.

Things that work:

A friend recently recommended using a basket to hold books for small children, as it is easier for them to put the books away in a basket than back on a shelf, so I got this basket.


For socks, at the present time this very unsophisticated system works for us . People just dig through the basket and find their own socks. What enables this to work is that each child has one dozen pairs of identical socks (24 socks each). Each child's socks are different from his/her siblings, and all are athletic socks. Hanes makes some nice ones with the name Hanes in different colors varying with size of sock on the sole. 11yodd has pale pink Hanes, 8yo dd has bright pink, 10 yo ds has blue, 13yo ds has grey, 5 yo dd has purple, 2yo ds has green. I have thrown away all of the "different" socks. I have unique socks, but I don't usually lose mine or have trouble finding them. I do occasionally mate socks, but once a month or less. When I do, I toss any with holes.

What doesn't work:

I've found that any system is only as effective as it's least efficient user, which means that some of the following things COULD work, given a little more effort on the part of the children.

We have a shoe rack that looks like this when shoes are arranged neatly on it. We also have coat cubbies that can look like this. The cubbies are too small, and we are working out the details of creating a mudroom when we do some upcoming home renovations. Regardless, the children make no attempt whatsoever to hang things up, and so the entryway usually looks more like this

As for the children's rooms, they are supposed to keep them clean, but there is no real penalty for messiness except that you can't find your stuff, you don't have any clean clothes because you haven't put them in the hamper and brought them down to the laundry room, and your room never gets vacuumed since the floor is never clear. The girls room is the worst. I will concede that part of the problem is living in a 144 year old house, which has no closets. We all lack storage space, and I submit A's "bedroom" as a prime example of this. The room is actually a small anteroom off of our bedroom, and it has a large window, so it is not really a closet, but functions as one as well as being her bedroom. Our room has no real closet and this keeps her close so when she wakes to nurse it is easy to get her. When she gets older she will share a room with a sibling.

I keep snacks and cereal in this drawer which, again, could work fine, but no one bothers to put things back neatly, roll up bags, etc. so the bottom of the drawer is usually full of loose cereal and crackers.

As for planning, scheduling and keeping it all together, I use this calendar exclusively. This year I bought 2 since there are more of us with places to go and things to do. It works well for us. As you can see, each person has a column, with the dates going down the side. So each person has a square for every day. I just look down the row that is Feb. 9 and see who has what and when.

That about sums it up for us!

Playing the Harmonica

Playing the Harmonica, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Among her many other talents, she has learned to play the mouth harp.

Feeling Her Oats

Feeling Her Oats, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

At 14 months, A. is queen of the world. The expression she is wearing in this photo reflects her attitude most of the time.

My Guy

My Guy, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Last Sunday I went for a winter walk with my sweetie, and here he is.

Huron River

Huron River, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

I have lived all of my life, except the Arizona years, in the watershed of this river. It goes a long way through the state of Michigan, but I've always been near it, which I think is really cool. The river has been there since glacial times.

Winter Wonderland

Winter Wonderland, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

This is a view from the park that I run in. I feel so blessed to live near such a beautiful place.

Snowbunnies

Snowbunnies, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

It finally snowed last weekend! And has stayed cold all week! Yeah!

The kids had a great time playing in it.

White Bean Puree

Another recipe I have to share--this is SO good, drizzled with a little olive oil, spread on a crusty baguette, and some red wine to accompany it of course! When I picked the kids after making this, they said the van smelled like garlic bread--I guess I absorbed some of the odors.

The recipe suggests eating these instead of mashed potatoes.

1 1/2 C dry Great Northern or other white bean (or 3 C cooked--I often use canned to speed it up)
1 onion, diced
1 rib celery, diced
1 large carrot, diced
4 cloves smashed garlic
1/3C heavy cream
1 bay leaf

If using dry beans, 5-6 C chicken broth
Soak beans overnight. Drain, transfer to pot with 5C chicken broth, 3 garlic cloves, onion, celery, bay leaf and carrot. Bring to boil, turn down to simmer for 90 minutes. Add remaining broth if needed--if it gets dry. Drain beans and discard bay leaf.

If using canned beans, rinse and drain. Put 3-4T olive oil in pan, saute 3 of the garlic cloves, bay leaf and remaining veggies until very soft.

For either method, add beans to pan with cream and remaining clove garlic and cook over medium heat for 4-5 minutes until almost dry.

Put bean mixture in food processor and puree, adding olive oil as needed (probably won't be needed with canned bean method due to olive oil in pan).

What Flower Are You?

I, apparently, am a lily.

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

My Morning Routine

I've spent my entire life being a little behind, so why change now? Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses is doing a topic pertinent to large families each Wednesday, and we are invited to join in. She did Morning Routine last week, but I'm just getting to it now.

I'm not going to count being awoken around 2am to nurse A., but that is the first time I normally get up each "day."

Today went like this:

4:15am: A. wakes up again (she is ill with a bad respiratory bug). I nurse her again and fall asleep, wake at 4:55am and return her to her own bed.

5:00am: D's alarm goes off. Miraculously, it only takes one elbow jab to get him to turn it off--no snooze. He gets up.

6:30am: A. wakes again. Nurse her again. Attempt to go back to sleep. Big kids get up, eat breakfast with D.

7:09am: Big kids board bus, which stops at the end of our driveway.

7:15am: A. wakes AGAIN and I realize I WAS asleep. Turn off my alarm which is set for 7:15am but has not gone off yet. Get A. out of bed and stroll wearily into kitchen. Wipe A's nose. Unload dishwasher with assistance from A., who throws dishes on the floor. Pour coffee.

7:25am: D. emerges from shower and I ask him to watch A. while I take a quick shower.

7:35am: Head upstairs to wake the 2nd shift. Wipe A's nose.

7:40am: Greet K., who has awoken and come downstairs. He wants to get his clothes on NOW and A. wants to be picked up. I remove A's blanket sleeper so she doesn't trip on the feet (she has pjs underneath) and wipe her nose. Tell K. that I want to eat my breakfast first

7:42am: Cave in to K's strident complaints and dress him.

7:48am: Heat up some previously made apple cracked wheat cereal for K., A. and myself. Wash off highchair tray (from dinner last night) while it warms up. Wipe A's nose. L. and I. are eating cold cereal which they have poured themselves.

7:53am: Put my bowl, juice and coffee on table, along with A's bowl and sippy cup on her tray. Wipe A's nose and seat in her highchair. Commence eating.

7:55am: Get A. down. She is screaming. Wipe her nose again. (Do you see a theme here?)

8:00am: Pour K. some juice. L. and I. get dressed for school. Wipe A's nose.

8:08am: Sit back down, finish eating while perusing yesterday's paper. Wipe A's nose.

8:10am: Clear dishes and load dishwasher as fast as possible while A. is occupied elsewhere so she doesn't try to climb in dishwasher. Wipe A's nose.

8:15am: Hand wash some dirty dishes that can't go in dishwasher.

8:23am: Bid L. and I. goodbye. Wipe A's nose.

8:25am: Head to room to dress and bathroom to brush teeth. Fend off one year old that loves to eat toothpaste, listen to some screaming. Wipe her nose with toilet paper.

8:30: Bus arrives at end of driveway to pick up L. and i.

8:35am: Greet T., who just woke up. Wipe a's nose.

8:40am: Put load in washing machine and in dryer. Wipe A's nose.

8:45am: Peel and hand out clementines to T., K. and A. Wipe A's nose.

8:50am: Get computer out and check email and message boards. WIpe A's nose.

9:15am: Get A. dressed and wipe her nose.

9:25am: Fold a load of laundry.

9:35am: Make important phone calls while kids watch educational TV show.

My kids (theoretically) lay out their clothes and gear the night before so that they aren't searching the house for them each morning. When someone cries 'Where is my... "I remind him that if he'd put it away yesterday we'd know where it is now.

If we must go somewhere in the morning, the routine involves a whole lot of browbeating to get ready.

Sick of it already!

Rain, that is! We had about 3 weeks of heavy snowfall between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but since then almost nothing. A few flakes fall here and there, but mostly it is many, many inches of RAIN! It is cold and dreary rain and I keep thinking of the many feet of snow we would have instead if only it were a little colder! I like snow, and snow days, and am longing for a few more crisp crackling days with snow crunching under my feet before winter is over. Bright white snow instead of mud, mud and more mud!

Another weird thing and HTML problems

I remembered one more thing about me that people think is unusual--I don't like, and never have liked the following 3 quintessentially American foods: Ketchup, peanut butter (but I like it in things) and Oreo cookies.

As you see, I have updated my blog with a new template. Unfortunately, the links in my post texts are still there but are no longer visible/highlighted. The code within the post is the same, so it must be something in my template, I think? Any ideas/suggestions/solutions?

5 Weird Things About Me--Revealing that I'm High Maintenance and Obsessive/Compulsive

I was tagged by Jody at and baby makes 6!

Five weird habits of yourself:

“The first player of this game starts with the topic ‘five weird habits of yourself,’ and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says ‘You are tagged’ (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.”


1. I weigh myself most mornings, naked and after exhaling. When I had more time I used to weigh myself 3 times, take the average and record it.

2. I am completely physically unable to throw a ball (or anything for that matter) without opening my mouth wide while I do it. I usually open my mouth while catching as well.

3. I love white creamy food: whipped cream, mashed potatoes, pasta with cream sauce, creme brulee... you get the idea. Not because it's white and creamy, it just happens that many things I love are white and creamy.

4. I wear sunglasses year round and am dependent on them--I can't bear to have the sun in my eyes.

5. I never want to be too far from a glass of water and a bathroom (and are those go-togethers, or what?) I am always thirsty, have a serious water addiction going, consequently need to visit the restroom frequently, and can't stand to "have to go" and not be near any facilities. Daryl says we spent half of our vacation money in Europe a few years ago on my water needs--buying me water and paying for me to use various restrooms.

I tag Lori atView From Our Porch Swing, Kim at Musing, Rambling and All Around Blathering Anne at Cooking With Anne, Heather at Hind's Feet and Karen at Our Deer Baby

Oops--I see Kathy has already been tagged for this one, so I'll choose Joanne at Piece of the Puzzle

Lord of the Rings

During Christmas break we immersed ourselves in the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. Although some of us had seen it before, I bought the extended version and we were watching some each day. Of course, when we got near the end on the last day of winter break, the disc had some sort of error and was unwatchable! That is a real problem with DVDs that we have experienced, but usually with rentals which have been viewed a million times and can be sort of beat up. This was brand new! And I bought in on ebay back in June, so there is really no way to return it. I absolutely love the trilogy, both the books and the movie. It iis so much in my head that I literally have been dreaming about it at night. I already feel disappointed and sad that it is almost over. I plan to rent it this weekend so that we can complete our viewing festival.

New Year's

The day after Christmas we went to my parents' house, where we had dinner and exchanged gifts. Our tradition is usually to have dinner and go to mass with them on Christmas Eve, but since our kids were in the service at our church this year, we had to change our plans. Our other tradition is have kielbasa for dinner, which we did. My aunt was there visiting from Chicago, and my sister and her family were supposed to come, but unfortunately my niece was sick, and it turned out to be strep throat, which her family spent the rest of the holidays falling victim to one by one, so we were glad they didn't come to my parents and infect the rest of us.

The rest of the week we spent just hanging out. Daryl had promised to take me out to lunch every day, which he did, or at least every day that we didn't have plans. We took the older kids to see King Kong on New Year's Eve afternoon, and then we had pizza at home for dinner and played charades and watched Crocodile Dundee until about 11:45pm when we paused the movie to watch the ball drop and toast with "kid wine" as sparkling grape juice is known at my house.

My kids had the entire week after New Year's Day off from school, and while I loved hanging out with them, the weather was terrible: cloudy and gloomy every day, with no snow and too warm for ice skating on any natural body of water. We did go to an outdoor ice rink one day, and my parents took them to see "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" one day. We also played games, did karaoake, read a lot of books, ate a LOT, and generally relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and one another.

My Gift

IMG_0968, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

This is what my dear husband gave me for
Christmas. It is a pendant, cast from a real pea pod, with 7 pearl "peas" for each of my children. Amazingly, he didn't order it or anything, just found it when doing his traditional Christmas Eve shopping.

My sweet baby A. has developed a bit of a temper, and while writhing, hitting and scratching at me she managed to grab it and break the chain the first time I wore it! It was a little too long anyway, but somehow a trip to the jeweler's is never top on my list of errands, so I fear it will be a while before I get around to having it repaired.

The Little Lord Jesus

Ever since the Christmas season, K. has referred to Jesus as Little Lord Jesus. Tonight he looked at a framed drawing of Jesus' face on my bedroom wall and asked "Who's that?"

"Jesus," I replied.

"Oh, the Little Lord Jesus," he said.

"Yes, but he's a grown up man in that picture."

"But he's still the Little Lord Jesus."

"Yes, he was a little baby when he was born, but he grew up to be a big man like Daddy."

"Okay."

Christmas Letter

I thought I'd share the letter we sent with our Christmas cards this year (and if my scanner worked, I'd share the family photo as well!):


This past year has been a busy one. Our family has done some traveling, including a spring break trip back to Arizona, where we visited with old friends, visited tourist attractions like the Grand Canyon and Sedona, and soaked up the sunshine. This past summer, we did a whirlwind tour of the east, starting with Niagara Falls, continuing on to Schenectady, followed by several days in New York City, and finishing with a few days in Connecticut. The last stop was a visit to our dear friends the Bs, who are now Anya’s godparents, as she was baptized while we were there.

D. (13) continues to be a multi-sport athlete. He ran track in the spring, and is quite fast. This fall he played both football (wide receiver) and soccer, followed immediately by basketball. He continues to be a great student. He has passed Paula up and continues to grow taller every day. Most importantly, he is turning into a terrific young man that we find a joy to have around.

J. (11) also plays both soccer and basketball. Her basketball team has been undefeated 3 years in a row! She continues playing piano and flute, is a terrific student and a talented writer. She is the favorite of her younger siblings, who adore her for her nurturing ways. She encourages all of us to savor the special moments we have together as a family.

L.(10) is an amazing soccer player and truly loves the sport. He is also doing extremely well in school and continues to play the piano. He is the kind of person that everyone, young and old, enjoys being around. He is fun and funny, sensitive and caring.

I. (8) has begun gymnastics this year, which she loves, and is steadily progressing from level to level. She continues to play the piano and does very well in school. Last spring she made her First Communion, which was a very sacred occasion. This past summer Paula took her to Chicago for her birthday to visit the American Girl Place, where they had tea and saw a live musical. They also shopped the Magnificent Mile, because I. loves both fashion and shopping. She always looks good and advises the rest of us on what to wear.

T. (5) began kindergarten this year, and is really enjoying it. She is following in her siblings’ footsteps academically, having just begun to read and demonstrating a real understanding of both addition and multiplication. It is so exciting to watch the world of words open up to a child for the first time! More than anything, T. enjoys being with her family and tells us that often.

K. (2) is a precocious toddler. His language skills are excellent, so he is able to communicate well and absorbs everything going on like a human sponge. He loves being outdoors, spending time with his favorite sister Jasmine, and playing with duplos and action figures. Lately he has been doing some testing, seeing just what happens when he hits or pushes A., as she has recently become a walking person with an attitude herself.

A. (1) has just learned to walk, and is about 90% biped, 10% quadriped. She toddles around using the adorable stiff legged gait of a new walker. She has also become quite opinionated , but unfortunately lacks the vocabulary to communicate her every whim to us, which sometimes leads to shrieking. So far, she can say Spot, uh-oh, mama and dada, and is an avid pointer, accompanied by the all-purpose “eh! eh!”

Daryl has had his busiest year ever. It’s hard to believe that he could be any busier, but he really was. It included a lot of business travel, including trips to Germany and China. In addition to teaching and running his laboratory, he devoted time to serving on several department committees and heading up his department’s internal review. Both of his companies have grown and progressed as well. NIT has developed to the point where it is ready to be sold and several large companies are interested, NNT has begun to make enough money to support itself, and is continuing to grow very rapidly.

Paula ran a 5K turkey trot this past November, beating her time from 4 years ago by 1 minute! Her level of activity matches everyone else’s, and she continues to be the household manager, chef, chauffeur, nurse, accountant, etc. and is enjoying every minute of it!

I Know He Feels This Way Some Days!

I Know He Feels This Way Some Days!, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

K. received this shirt as a gift, and although I'd never buy him something like this, I do find it amusing, and I'm sure there are days when he feels this way about little A.!

Santa

Santa, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here is my dear husband, supervising gift opening on Christmas morning, and in the background you can see some of the ornaments hanging from the beams. Doesn't do it justice, but you get the idea!

Snowflake Babies

Snowflake Babies, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

I found these snowflake jammies for K. and A., which I love. Here they are playing with the train table K. got from Santa on Christmas morning.

Aftermath

Aftermath, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The debris after opening!

Before

Before, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The tree on Christmas morning.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

On Christmas Eve morning the kids made Peanut Blossom cookies (with chocolate kisses on top) rolled in red and green sugar instead of white, while I made a last minute grocery store run and D. completed his Christmas shopping. J. and I. were participating in the Christmas Eve children's mass and had to report to the church at 3pm. We had been warned that that was when you needed to arrive to be assured a seat for the 4:30pm mass, so D. took them there, he and L. stayed to save us seats. I tried to take a short nap, since I had gotten a cold and not slept well the previous night and knew I'd be up late that night. Then I got the little ones dressed and the rest of us headed out the door. We got there at 4pm and it was already standing room only, but luckily D. and L. had been able to save us seats. (All Christmas Eve and Christmas Day masses at the Catholic churches I've been a member of are this packed. I can't imagine how some churches have cancelled Christmas Day services due to low attendance!) J. read the first reading and did a beautiful job. I. was one angel amongst the throng of angels in the Christmas pageant. After a little more than an hour, A. started to shriek. I had brought some books and small toys but she had had it by then, so I took her to the nursery in the church basement. There was no childcare but it's a safe place for her to play.

We arrived home around 6pm. I had planned to start making dinner immediately, but earlier in the week I had bought some new decorations and hadn't had a chance to hang them, so we worked on that first. We have large cedar beams spanning our ceiling and I had gotten the idea (from a magazine) to hang ornaments from ribbons from the beams. I had been in Lowe's and was thrilled to discover that all of their decorations were already 50% off, so I bought 28 red and gold glass ornaments. They weren't all the same, but I bought 3 or 4 of each style. I also found some fancy ornament hooks that were curlicues with red and gold beads on them. First D. went around the room and screwed small gold hooks into the beams. We hung the red ornaments from gold ribbon and vice versa. It looked really nice and I was very pleased. I had wanted to do something to make our decorations look a little classier, since half of them are items handmade by the kids over the years, which are precious, but don't always give the room that special sparkle.

We had one of our favorite pastas for dinner, Salsa Cremosa di Mascarpone e Pancetta Affumicata (or Creamy Sauce with Bacon to us native English speakers)!

Saute 1 small onion and several cloves crushed garlic in 3T extra virgin olive oil until tender, 10-12 minutes. Add 1 pound pancetta or thick sliced bacon, cut into thin strips, and cook until it colors but does not crisp. Add 28 oz. can chopped tomatoes and simmer until liquid is reduced and sauce is thick. Cook 1.5 pounds fettucine until al dente. Drain and toss with 16 oz. mascarpone cheese and the tomato bacon sauce. Either add 20 chopped fresh basil leaves to toss at the end or an equivalent amount dried basil to the sauce while simmering. Mmmm!


Unfortunately, by the time we finally had all of the kids in bed, I really wasn't feeling very well. D. told me if I sorted the gifts, he'd wrap so I could go to bed, but that didn't seem right (and besides I really am a control freak and couldn't allow him the chance to mess it up!) We never wrap ahead of time, and this year it took us until 1am. It didn't help when we ran out of tape shortly before we were finished!

Our rule is that it must be light out before anyone can get up. The kids actually slept until about 8am! Our tradition is that Dad must have a cup of coffee in his hand before any gift opening can occur, and he attempts to prolong this in any way he can to increase the anticipation. This year the kids got up, made the coffee, and brought us coffee, orange juice and toast on a tray in bed! We had been awake for a little while, so we thanked them and brought it into the kitchen so they could begin opening presents. Everyone loved what they got.

D's mother came over in the afternoon, had dinner with us, and spent the night. We played games, ate steak and caesar salad with bread and olive oil and apple crisp for dessert. We broke oplatek together, which is a Polish tradition where everyone receives a piece of bread that is just like Communion wafer, only unblessed. You walk around and break a piece off of each other's bread and wish one another Merry Christmas. It really was a lovely day, only slightly marred for me by the stupid cold, which continued to bother me. Thanks to Cold Eeze lozenges, it only lasted 4 days, and only 2 were really bad, but of course they had to be Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!

Preholidays--Feeling Slighty Grinchy

Daryl's extended family celebrated Christmas together on the 17th, around 60 of us. The men (and any woman that is brave enough--I was the first maverick to break into the men's game but I stopped playing years ago!) play football in the snow, lefties against righties. His generation sports an unusual number of lefties, but almost all of their children are right handed, so most of the kids play on their fathers' team now, or else the lefties would seriously be outnumbered. They even have jerseys with left and right handprints on them and their birth order number (the oldest lefty is #1, etc.) One of Daryl's uncles dresses up as Santa and pays a brief visit to hand out candy canes and offer to to have kids on his lap (but since they are afraid none of them ever wants to get that close to him!) We all bring dishes to pass and have a sit down turkey dinner together. It is a lot of fun to see everyone and catch up with them.

The 18th was Daryl's immediate family Christmas celebration, and since he is one of 5 children, that is a good size gathering also. Too many presents, lots of good food, and a lot of fun was had by all. The only bummer was that the kids had school Monday morning, and they had a Christmas party hangover after 2 days of junk food and late nights.

The kids were in school through Thursday the 22nd, timing that I found unfortunate. I wanted to make cookies and go to performances or sledding or shopping, but they were busy. Of course we had lots of fluffy white snow that fell from Thanksgiving until a few days before Christmas when it warmed up and melted.

I have to admit that I was feeling rather Grinchlike that week. It just seemed there was too much to do and too little time to do it, and not enough time to do some of things I wanted to do. We did 2 name draws within our family. The first was a Secret Santa draw that included the parents but not the 2 youngest children where you were supposed to do something nice every day for the person whose name you drew. The second name draw was for a gift exchange among the kids, so that did not include the parents but did include the little ones, and I just shopped for the names they drew. These are both nice ideas in theory, but I think all of us found it difficult to actually do the Secret Santa effectively until those last few days when we had more free time. It is especially hard for the mom, who does so much for everyone, to do more for someone and have it be really noticeable! We also learned that 5 years old is too young to be a Secret Santa, as T. didn't really do anything for her person. The gift giving name draw went well, except again we were pressed for time, and couldn't all go out together, since it was a secret whose name you drew, so we had to go on multiple trips with 2 kids at a time. It was nice to see them thinking about what someone else might like and spending their own money on it. There was one aborted trip to a department store where the line was literally about 75 people long and I was tired and hungry, bottoming out from low blood sugar and frustration.

I also felt like a lot of things sound nicer than they are. For instance, our quaint village does a Victorian Christmas downtown on 2 different Saturdays featuring Santa sitting (in a beautiful old-fashioned Father Christmas costume) in a gazebo in the center of the town park, and it is free to visit him and they take your picture for free. There are several small reindeer in a pen to pet, free hot cocoa and horse drawn sleigh rides (not free). All the merchants are having sales. In reality, my children who are young enough to still believe in Santa are too terrified to sit on his lap, and don't understand why he isn't dressed in his traditional red suit and hat. The line is long and they get cold, and they spill hot cocoa all over their jackets.

My final Grinchy complaint is about all of the extra things that teachers, music instructors, religious education teachers, etc. come up with to do or bring right before the holidays. Case in point: J.'s teacher decided that rather than have a Christmas party, her class would have a Latin American feast. Each child was supposed to bring in a homemade Latin American dish on Dec. 22. When J. had picked her recipe several days prior, I glanced at it, determined that none of the ingredients were impossible to find, and said ok. She planned to make an Orange Caramel Fool. Of course, that afternoon, when I visited the grocery store, my head was full of my own holiday baking needs, and I totally forgot to buy what she needed. Unbeknownst to me, Daryl had to work very late that night so was unavailable to help. When I went out to take D. to religious ed, I left J. in charge and ran in the store to get the 3 items she needed for her dish. J. likes to call me very frequently when I'm gone, and so after I'd been gone about 5 minutes, she picked up the phone to call me, and discovered that another extension was off the hook somewhere in the house so she couldn't call out. She got her siblings to help her look upstairs after failing to find the phone downstairs. While upstairs, they thought they heard the door slam. Thinking it was me, they called my name but I didn't answer (presumably they imagined the noise or the wind slammed the storm door). Now they were really nervous and began running around looking for the phone. While running and carrying baby A., J. went around a corner too fast and A. leaned out and smacked her head on the wall. When I returned 15 minutes later, the kids were all frantic, the baby had a big goose egg on her forehead, and the dog had eaten some of the pizza I'd ordered while the kids were running around upstairs. The phone was still missing. After reassuring them and determining that A. didn't have a concussion, I went upstairs looking for the phone. I had the kids listen for my voice on the extension so I'd know when I got close. It was shoved in I.'s snow boot, presumably by A., who loves to play with the phone. I found the upstairs rec room floor was covered with white couch stuffing fluff, as apparently K. had pulled it out of a hole in the cushion earlier while D. was supposedly in charge.

Now we began making the Fool, while simultaneously cleaning the kitchen, getting hyper kids ready for bed and making sure they had whatever items they needed packed for their school parties the next day. We completed the fool around 11pm! At that point, since I was now muttering darkly about the teacher that assigned this project, J. volunteered that her teacher, who has children, but they are grown, had told the class, "If your parents are upset about having to do one more thing right before the holidays, it's ok if you buy something and bring it." Not only was this information imparted to me much too late by a daughter who would not have wanted to bring a store bought dish (she is her mother's daughter in this way, I must confess), the local stores don't usually have a supply of ready to eat Latin American dishes on their shelves. The Fool, which was essentially a rich vanilla pudding layered with orange caramel sauce, similar to flan, was delicious. Sadly, the parents who cleaned up after the feast at school threw out the leftovers!! The Latin American feast would have been a great idea to ease the winter doldrums during January (when they are actually studying Latin America).

On Friday we finished our shopping and the kids made shaped sugar cookies, using a recipe from Anne at Cooking With Anne and they tasted as pretty as they looked!

Then we went out to dinner as a family to Zingerman's Roadhouse, which is a nice restaurant, a step higher than we normally take the kids to. I had the idea that because we are a large group, we might be able to get a table at one of the nice restaurants in the area that do not take reservations and normally have a lengthy wait, but will take a reservation for a large group. This was a good idea, or would have been if I'd had it sooner than Friday afternoon. By then everywhere I called was booked until after 8pm. Although we often eat late at home, we figured beginning dining out at that hour with small children was asking for trouble. So we went out driving around, stopping first at a restaurant that seemed unable to tell us over the phone what their availability was or would be in the next 15 minutes. Of course they had a long wait when we arrived. We hadn't called Zingerman's Roadhouse, but they were next door to the first restaurant, so we thought it wouldn't be too big of a waste of time to ask there. At first the hostess told us it would be more than an hour, but when I modified my description of our group from 9 people to 8 plus a highchair, she asked me to wait a few minutes while she checked, but she thought she could seat us right away. She was able to, and we were thrilled. The kids behaved really well and we had a terrific experience at a busy restaurant on a very busy night for dining out. The only glitch was that K. decided about 3/4 of the way through the meal to get out of his chair and he wouldn't sit back down. He stayed right next to the table, so it wasn't a huge problem. It wasn't until we were on our way out of the restaurant that he announced, "I have a poop!" I was glad he hadn't announced that loudly in the crowded dining room, and understood why he refused to sit down.

Born to be an Elf

Elf, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Does he look like an elf, or what? He is actually a lot cuter than this, but this photo is hilarious.

Christmas Girls

Girls, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Of course, little A. wouldn't wear hers.

Christmas Boys

Boys, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

We've had our tree up for 2 weeks now, but the night we put it up, the kids donned their Santa caps.

Happy Birthday Daryl!

The love of my life turned 43 yesterday. As is typical, there was a family Christmas gathering on his birthday. There was a birthday cake and the family all sang to him, but it wasn't really a birthday celebration. So I decided to have a special family dinner in his honor tonight. I made pasta with 2 sauces: tomato with olive and capers (jarred) and pesto (homemade). We had crusty bread dipped in olive oil, caesar salad, and his favorite apple pie. We sang again, too. The house started out an absolute wreck because Saturday was a family Christmas gathering also, so 2 days in a row we rushed to get ready and out the door, leaving a mess behind. We arrived home late last night, emptied the van of the mountain of gifts we'd collected, and deposited them in the family room. Everyone rushed off to work and school this morning, leaving me with the mess, but I was able to use the birthday celebration to motivate them to clean it up tonight.

Thanksgiving

We invited my entire family and Daryl's entire family to join us for dinner. As it turned out, only my mother-in-law accepted our invitation. On Wed. afternoon the day before Thanksgiving, I called a friend in town to see if she would be in town for the weekend, as I wanted her daughter to babysit on Friday. As it turned out, her family was staying home due to an impending snow storm. They were planning to have dinner by themselves so I invited them to join us. They have 6 children, so it made for a lively household. Daryl had also invited several students over who would otherwise be alone, and one accepted his invitation, so there were 19 of us. We put 2 tables together and were able to seat everyone. J. and I. made placecards for everyone, which made the table look really nice. I cooked a fresh 20 lb. turkey, which I got in the oven around 8am. Daryl got up with me and we ate fresh bread from the bread machine that I'd put in the night before and watched the movie "Sideways" on the laptop while I got the turkey ready to go in the oven. It was nice to have some quiet time together before everyone else got up.

I made garlic mashed potatoes, gravy, salad and a sweet potato pie with a shortbread crust. My guests, who are vegetarians, brought salmon, pumpkin pies and stuffing. My MIL brought peach pie, berry cobbler, rolls and cranberry sauce. The salad had mixed greens, goat cheese, pinenuts, dried cherries, and grape tomatoes with a simple dressing of olive oil and balsalmic vinegar. It was really good! Unfortunately our grill ran out of gas, so we had to broil the salmon, but we did that while Daryl carved the turkey and I mashed the potatoes. Our guests washed a lot of the pots and pans before dinner! That was wonderful. We ate around 4pm. I bought " kid wine" (sparkling grape juice) for the kids, which they love. The food was scrumptious and a wonderful time was had by all. Our guests left around 6:30pm and we layed around and munched dessert the rest of the evening.

Stroller Racing

DSC_0515, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Perhaps I shouldn't have allowed this, but they were both having a great time!

Double digits--a decade old!

DSC_0913, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

On November 20 (the day after A's bday) we celebrated another birthday. L. turned 10! He had a party with some friends the day before. We had it at our house, and the boys played sports outdoors. I served pizza, cupcakes and ice cream. A good time was had by all.

On the actual day we held our family celebration. He got a skateboard and helmet and some action figures from Daryl and I. His sister gave him a new jackknife, since he's been doing a lot of whittling lately and the one he had is tiny and not really up to the job.

The birthday child picks the meals all day long on his birthday, and he chose blueberry pancakes for breakfast, leftover pizza for lunch, and tacos for dinner, with homemade cheesecake covered in blueberry topping for his birthday cake. Mmmm was that cake good!

L. is an extremely affectionate, sensitive child. He is very tuned into the feelings of others, and goes out of his way to be kind and helpful. He has a great sense of humor, and is a lot of fun to be around, so he has many friends. He is also very smart, excelling in all areas. He brings joy to me every day!


BIRTH STORY

L. was my only child born before my due date, 2 days "early". I had gone to water aerobics in the morning, then taken an afternoon nap while my little ones napped. I woke up and ate an apple with some almond butter. I noticed a few contractions then, but didn't think much of them because I have so many contractions at the end. I began making dinner, and the contractions began to be more regular and demand my attention a little more.

I called Daryl around 5pm, who asked me if he had time to go running first, but I told him to get right home! Meanwhile, I stopped making dinner as it was distasteful to me. He came home and finished making dinner and fed the kids.

Soon I felt it was time to call the midwife. She told me to come in. First we had to call our wonderful friends who had offered to take the kids. The contractions were getting more intense, and the kids were responding to my mood. J. was hanging on me and demanding to be picked up. I really couldn't handle it, so Daryl took the kids next door to our neighbors while we waited for our friends to arrive.

By the time we arrived at the birth center it was 8:30pm, somewhat later than we'd told the midwife, and she was beginning to wonder if I'd changed my mind! LOL As she checked me she said, "You're about 5cm and I feel a big bulging sack -"SPLASH! My water broke and splashed all over. She literally jumped back to avoid getting doused. There was a tiny bit of meconium in the fluid but not enough to worry about.

I began pacing the room. I tried the tub, but didn't like it so I resumed pacing. Then we realized that we had forgotten to get more film for the camera! Luckily, a janitor was in the building, and Daryl asked him to run to the store, which was very close. (I wouldn't let him leave). After a while I squatted on the toilet which felt really good. As it got more intense, I told the midwife that I had changed my mind, and I didn't want to have this baby today! She laughed heartily at that one.

Eventually I went and sat on the bed. She turned down all the lights. I felt drowsy and dozed between contractions. Transition was intense, but then after many hard contractions in a row, one began and then petered out without ever getting really bad. The midwife told me that that sometimes transition ends abruptly that way.

I was suddenly very sleepy and not having any contractions. I dozed for 5 minutes or so and then the contractions resumed and I felt the urge to push. After only 2-3 contractions, out he came! The midwife helped ease his shoulder out. He weighed 10 pounds exactly and was born at 10:30pm. He was extremely alert after his birth and we have many photos of him looking right at me.

This was my most "textbook" labor and one of my easiest deliveries. It was my first midwife attended birth and birth center delivery. Daryl thought it wouldn't make such a big difference in the experience, but was awed by how intimate and special it really was.

We had brought some snacks, which I ate, and then after a while, I felt good enough to get up and get dressed and we went home, arriving around 2am. We joke that it was just like going on a date, only we came home with a baby! Despite the quiet house, I was unable to sleep, of course.

Our friends kept the kids until the next day midmorning. They had made them each a "big brother" and "big sister" button and stopped and gotten them each a small "gift" to give their new baby brother. He was born on Monday, 3 days before Thanksgiving.