What Flower Are You?

I am a Snapdragon What Flower Are You?

"Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."

Feeling Blue

Another month has passed and I am not pregnant. Try as I may to not let it bother me, it is. On the day I took a pregnancy test, only to have it come out negative, I sat down at the computer after doing the test and opened an email from a friend with pictures of their brand new baby. Later in the week another friend gave birth. I am thrilled for these couples, yet it was hard to hear, especially since I'd always thought that by the time they had their babies, I would be pregnant.

Last weekend Daryl shared his disappointment with me, which helped tremendously. I knew he would be happy to have another child, but didn't know that he wanted it enough to feel disappointed that I wasn't pregnant. So I went through the rest of the week feeling somewhat better until today, when my brother-in-law called to announce his wife's surprise pregnancy. Again, I am very happy for them, but still, I cried after I hung up the phone. Had I gotten pregnant this month we would have been due within a week of one another.

And I am struggling with guilt as well. I have close friends and family that are struggling with serious illness, financial crises, and crumbling marriages right now, while everything in my life is going smoothly and happily. I have been blessed in SO many ways, that I have nothing to complain about. I had a well meaning friend point out to me that even if I never get pregnant again, I should consider myself very lucky. I have 7 beautiful healthy children, a husband who loves me, financial security, and my health. I KNOW this, but all of the logic in the world doesn't seem to help change my feelings of sadness. Feelings are feelings, not based on facts.

I guess I'll just keep on hoping. Maybe that new nephew or niece will have a cousin only a few months younger.

Praise the Lord!

Yesterday I got terrific news. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer several weeks ago. She is 40 years old and has a husband and 2 young children. She a beautiful woman both inside and out. She is very sweet, a terrific cook, loving wife and mother, great friend, keeps a spotless house, and is really ravishing. She had 2 lymph node biopsies to determine if the cancer had spread. Yesterday the 2nd biopsy came back negative, meaning the cancer has not spread! She will be having surgery to remove her breast soon, so I will be keeping her in my prayers.

A Perfect Day

Fall was at its most glorious last week, and on Friday, Daryl and I had an appointment with John Allegretti, the architect who is designing our home renovation/addition. His office is located in St. Joseph, Michigan, on the west coast of the state, right on Lake Michigan, which is a 2+ hour drive away. It was a beautiful day for a drive, and I had arranged child care for the entire day. We talked and talked. After our meeting, which took about 3 hours (basically until we were stuptefied and could not have made another decision!) we found a small but authentic Mexican place for lunch. We love Mexican food and it's hard to get good Mexican in Michigan. St. Joseph has a great downtown, so we walked slowly back to the car, browsing shops. All the way home we listened to the radio which was playing songs from the 70s and early 80s, basically our highschool and early college days, which was fun. The entire drive was lined with trees in radiant colors, and as early evening approached, the full harvest moon rose. It was spectacular, and right in front of us as we watched it for the next hour.

When we arrived at home, the kids were happy and the house was clean. We quickly changed clothes and I put A. to bed, and then we headed off to a wedding reception for my old college roommate that I was reunited with last winter. She got married this summer out of state, a small family wedding, and was having a reception to celebrate her wedding at a nice bar/restaurant. She married a man who is the head of the local branch of a large corporation. Her husband is extremely well known and well connected in Ann Arbor, so we met a lot of interesting, well-heeled people at the party, including the mayor of Ann Arbor, the mayor's wife who is a professional pianist, the director of the University Musical Society, the director of the Michigan Theater, the principal flautist for the Ann Arbor Symphony, etc.

We returned home around 11:30pm to (mostly) sleeping kids and a clean house. We haven't spent that much time alone together in a long time, and it was a really special day.

Confirmation

On Sept. 16, my oldest child D. was Confirmed in the Catholic Church. It was my proudest moment as a mother thus far. He participated in a lengthy and demanding preparation program. My father was his sponsor, and I know it made him very proud as well. Seeing D. standing there in his shirt and tie, answering the bishop loudly and shaking his hand firmly, made my heart feel like it was bursting with joy.

The ceremony was very nice. The bishop, who is in his mid-70s, gave a great homily, encouraging the youth to go out and make a difference in the world, and to show God's love to those in need. He is charismatic man and a great speaker, who really had a message to deliver.

Unfortunately, the ceremony was at 7pm on a Saturday night, so we got a babysitter for our younger children who would be unable to sit through a 90+ minute ceremony, especially at night. L. was ill, so he stayed home too. All 3 grandparents attended (one grandfather has passed away). We had a meal together before the ceremony and dessert at home afterwards to celebrate. I made a homemade blueberry pie and key lime pie, D's favorite. Next time, however, I will use regular limes. Key limes are miniature, and grating and squeezing about 30 of them took forever! (And I've made it before with regular limes and it was just as tasty!)