Vacation

The last 2 weeks of July we went on a family vacation. As we so often do, we headed to Canada. Our first night was spent in Stratford, Ontario, renowned for its theater festival. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to take in a show. The next morning dawned searingly hot, and we got on the road ASAP. We headed for Ottawa, the nation's capitol. After we'd been on the road an hour, and the very crabby 20 month old had just fallen asleep, Daryl needed to conduct a conference call for work. He wanted to stop while he talked and have the kids and I play somewhere. Due to the intense heat and the napping baby, I was unwilling to do this, so we instructed the kids to be extremely quiet, and I drove while he talked. Amazingly, they remained inaudible for a little more than an hour while he talked! Apparently there were several arguments, and tears, all conducted in whispers so quiet that even I couldn't hear them. By the time the phone call was over, we stopped for lunch. Then we decided to spend a few hours on Lake Ontario, being unable to pass by the beach at a great lake without stopping.

We arrived in Ottawa late, checked into the hotel, went for a very brief swim before the pool closed, and then had a very late dinner from room service while watching Over the Hedge. In the morning, we went out for breakfast, and upon seeing what a beautiful city Ottawa is, spent several hours walking around.

My Heart's Desire

As I mentioned in my previous post, it is my heart's desire to have another child. If any of my dear readers feel so inclined, I'd appreciate any prayers that I be blessed again.

Thanks!

Birthday

The next birthday was mine! I turned 42 on Aug. 2, which is also my 2nd blogaversary (term coined by Chris at Notes from the Trenches).

All I wanted for my birthday is another baby, and it has been several months of trying with no results, which is unusual for us. I had really wanted to be pregnant by my 42nd birthday, and I am not, so I woke up feeling sort of sad and old (and fat, for some reason I've gained about 5 lbs. this summer!)

The rest of my day went something like this. I woke up to a slightly messy house, so spent some time doing dishes, putting cushions back on couch, and picking up dh's clothes off the floor. Annoyed, I asked 6yo, who was the only on up, to wake her siblings up since I shouldn't have to do all the picking up on my bday. She returned shortly saying they refused to get up. More annoyed! About 30 minutes later they did get up and were then very helpful. I made myself a last minute appointment for a pedicure, and rushed off to do that and have lunch with a close friend.

I've never had a pedicure and my feet were horny toads, literally black in areas with very rough dead skin and tons of calluses. Now they are pink and soft and smooth!

I hate hot weather and it was about 95 and REALLY humid here. When I got to the restaurant I discovered that dh had had flowers delivered there for me! I ordered lunch, but when the waitress brought it, it was not what I ordered. I described what I'd ordered, which was the special appetizer, and that's what I said I wanted and pointed to it on the specials menu, but did not name it. It turned out that the hostess had missed one of last weeks specials menus when she changed them over, so the one I was given described last week's specials. I was brought this week's special appetizer. She suggested something else and it was prepared amazingly quickly. It was very tasty, although not exactly what I'd wanted.

After lunch I drove my friend back to her office, and as she got out of the car I realized that I'd left the flowers at the restaurant. I was totally out of gas, so I called the restaurant and they said they had the flowers set aside for me. I thought I felt the car chug a little as I raced to the nearest (expensive) gas station in the downtown shopping district. I was totally drenched with sweat by the time I finished pumping gas. I returned to the restaurant to retrieve the flowers, getting even more sweaty as I walked back to the car. I'd used the last of my cash paying to get out of the parking lot the first time, and was relieved that they would accept Canadian change since that was all I had!

My parents were waiting at my house, which was spotlessly clean (picked up by the kids) and the kids were all happy, cared for by their older siblings, and had all worked together to make me a beautiful banner. My parents had brought a large cheesecake and 42 candles, which I was able to blow out all at once! We visited for about an hour, and after they left I took a long nap.

Feeling refreshed, I did some Pilates exercises while dh, who had just returned home from work, bearing deli meats and cheeses and fresh french bread for dinner, took a short nap. Then he went to pick up D. from football conditioning while the rest of us set out the food and the table. We made our sandwiches, intending to wait for them to start eating, but they didn't return for a long time. My daughter J., concerned that there was no cake, had called dh on the sly and told him to stop at the store and get some dessert. He brought home 2 frozen pies and was astonished that they required 1 hour to bake! Mind you, this man has a PhD! We all got a laugh out of that, and decided to make mango and peach milkshakes instead. My oldest child held one lit candle up for me to blow out while they sang to me.

After dessert I received some nice gifts. Dh got me pearl earrings and the promise of shopping for a treadmill. The girls gave me cash and promised to "take me shopping." The boys gave me a sports watch that is also a heart rate monitor for exercising.

By this time it was quite late so we all went to bed.

July

Independence Day

We spent the long Independence Day weekend at home. I bought a new badminton/volleyball set, since our old one was totally destroyed, and a new tetherball. We set those up, along with horseshoes, and built real pits for the horseshoes. I bought some small prizes at the grocery story and we had a badminton tournament--double elimination so everyone got to play more than one game. I love badminton, despite the fact that I suck!

We didn't attend the fireworks party on July 3 that we usually go to because it was raining. By the time it was late enough for the fireworks, it had cleared but now it was too late to get to our friends' home in time for the show. We live very close to the fireworks, but they can't be seen from our yard due to the enormous trees. So Daryl and the kids jumped the fence and walked onto the golf course at the metropark across the road where the fireworks were being held, where they had a great view. I stayed home with the little ones, who were in bed (it doesn't get dark in our neck of the woods till 10pm at that time of year). I attempted to see the fireworks from the yard, and from a 2nd story window of our house, but couldn't.

On the 4th, we had our own fireworks show. In recent years we've purchased a small set, which our oldest has set off with Daryl's supervision, and oohed and aahed over all those bottle rockets. This year, however, we were driving through Illinos in June, which boasts warehouses full of fireworks that aren't legal in Michigan. Seriously, we shopped in a Costco sized warehouse full of fireworks. We bought 2 large sets, one of which we set off at our family reunion in late June. We also bought several individual mortars. The sets were basicallly bigger versions of what we'd done before, just a lot MORE bottle rockets. The mortars were really cool fireworks that went up high in the air! They scared the pants off poor Daryl but the rest of us loved them! We have enough bottle rockets left for several more years, we'll just need to supplement with a few mortars.

Sold!

On July 6, Daryl closed a business deal that we had been waiting for a long time. He sold a small company that he co-founded with a colleague to a much larger company. This was very exciting news for us. It means we will be able to complete some major home renovations that we have dreamed of. The next day, he left for China and Japan for a week. I spent the week completing our vacation preparations.

Reunion

The evening he returned from his trip to Asia, we hosted a gathering of some of our old college cronies. My dear friend J., one of my 2 freshmen college roommates, always comes to Michigan in the summer and she and her husband and daughters always come for a visit and spend the night. I had recently reconnected with our other roommate (see my post titled Serendipity) after 19 years, so she and her husband came over and the 3 of us (we lived in a "converted triple" which means a dorm room designed for 2 people into which they cram 3!) were all together for the first time in 20 years! Several other old friends were here also, and we had a lovely dinner.

Where I've Been

It's been a busy couple of months, so I'll recap:

D's birthday

On June 5 my oldest child turned 14. Handsome and strong, funny and argumentative, helpful and responsible. He makes me laugh, is interesting to talk to, and just a person I really enjoy being around. I'm so glad I have him!

June

As always, we limped to the finish line with the ending of school on June 9. One more day and we wouldn't have made it! On Saturday, June 10 we headed to Muskegon, Michigan for a family wedding. We spent the night there and went to Michigan's Adventure, an amusement/water park. It features both roller coasters and water rides and slides. I haven't been on a roller coaster in years, and I braved a few, and found them to be actually fun! We had a lovely day, sunny and in the high 60s, but a little cool for water rides. The kids, of course, went anyway! The best part was there were NO lines. Literally, get in line and be on the ride as soon as it returns from its current run. The park also features many rides for younger children, both tiny tot and medium sized rides.

The following week we left on Thursday for Delevan, Wisconsin, (in the Lake Geneva area) where D's sister lives. We had wedding in Madison on Friday, June 16. Daryl and I attended it without the kids, who stayed with their aunt, uncle and cousin. It was a formal evening wedding, and I wore a little black dress that I own, along with some great costume jewelry and rhinestone studded thong sandals. We spend the rest of the weekend visiting with Daryl's sister and her family as well as my mother-in-law, who was there as well. Lake Geneva is a beautiful lake resort town, and we spent some time there, even renting a speed boat and going for a boat ride. We left our 3 older daughters in Wisconsin to visit with their cousin and returned home on Sunday.

K's birthday

My littlest boy turned 3 on June 20, but since his sisters and his Dad were out of town, we didn't celebrate it until June 22. I still wanted to do something special with him on June 20 (even though he didn't know it was his birthday) so I took him to the movie "Cars." It was his first time going to a movie theatre. He had fun, although the movie was actually way above his level of understanding, and he did lose interest before it was over. He enjoyed sitting on my lap and eating popcorn, however, and I thought the movie was quite good.

K. is an active, happy little guy. Still not fully potty trained, and still competing hard with his little sister to be the baby, but slowly making progress toward being a "big boy." He loves his big sister J. more than anything, even me! He is friendly and outgoing and very loving and affectionate. He has a great sense of humor and often makes us laugh. All boy, he loves action figures and cars, balls and bikes, and like the rest of us, adores books!

Another Reader

IMG_1389, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

One of the great blessings in my life is how my children love to read, and how easily it comes to them. By kindergarten each has seemed to magically just "get" it and be able to sound out words, without phonics or special work of any kind on our part. Then they progress steadily until 3rd grade, when they take a huge leap and are suddenly able to read long,difficult chapter books.

It helps that from infancy they are surrounded by voracious readers and heaps of books.

Years ago my oldest child's kindergarten teacher told me that some children begin school not knowing which way to hold a book or turn the pages, which really saddened me.

Here is a picture of A., who already knows how to do that and enjoys "reading" a book on her own.

Riding Lessons

IMG_1397, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

I. has begun taking riding lessons. After teling her yes, I discovered that this is the world's most expensive sport. I am rationalizing that she has not participated in many extracurricular activities, while her older siblings have many seasons of (expensive) soccer under their belts, so from a fairness standpoint, it's OK to spend more on her for a while.

The horse she is on is named Winton. He is 28 years old and has taught hundreds of local children (many of whom are now adults) how to ride, and to say he is mellow is a huge overstatement. Saying that he struggles to stay awake during lessons is more truthful! He is perfect for a beginner, however.

Note the riding boots and helmet, purchased by me. The pants are hand-me-downs from her best friend, who not only rides, but has her own pony.

The biggest problem with takking riding lessons and having a best friend who owns a horse, as far as I can tell, is the constant queries. As soon as she began lessons, the queries began: "Can we get a horse?" I have said no a thousand times, yet she continues to ask. (sigh) Although we live on 8 acres in the country, and are actually zoned to have a maximum of 3 horses on our property, we do NOT have a barn or any other shelter for horses. In addition, her dad and I are NOT horse people. We don't know anything about caring for a horse and are not interested, at this point in time, in doing any of the work involved with owning a horse, not to mention the expense.

Introducing Cazadora

Introducing Cazadora, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Three weeks ago this little kitten joined our family. She was 6 weeks old when we got her, ostensibly to hunt the mice that are driving me crazy in my old house. Her name is taken from the Spanish word cazador, which means hunter in English. We call her Cazzy for short. She is extremely playful and feisty. She keeps herself very busy climbing (all the way to the lampshade on a tall floor lamp!) , running, chasing, and batting at anything and everything. As I blog, she is playing with the cord on the computer, sometimes climbing the chair and running across the laptop, pausing only to take a few swipes at my hair. Hopefully all of this means she will be a terrific huntress!

What Color Green Am I?

You Are Mint Green

Balanced and calm, you have mastered the philosophy of living well. Your friends seek you out for support, and you are able to bring stability to chaotic situations. You're very open and cheerful - and you feel like you have a lot of freedom in life. Your future may hold any number of exciting things, and you're ready for all of them!

What Color Green Are You?

The Girls and I

The Girls and I, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here are the girls and I on Mother's Day.

The Boys and I (minus one!)

The Boys and I (minus one!), originally uploaded by PaulaK.

This was taken later in the day on Mother's Day, unfortunately after K. was already in bed (which is why it was minus one!)

Mother's Day Brunch

Mother's Day Brunch, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

On Mother's Day I invited my mom (and dad) and my mother-in-law to go out to brunch with us, to the Common Grill in Chelsea. We all had matching corsages--(you can see mine in the photo of my daughters and I). We had a delicious meal and a lovely time.

When we got home, I took a nice long nap. D. made dinner, linguine with white clam sauce, and then the kids showered me with precious homemade gifts.

Restless

There is so much going on right now, or rather that I am waiting for and have been for about 6 months, that I am totally crazy from the "in limbo" feeling. Hopefully things will be drawing to a close soon, and we will be able to make some decisions about home, career, and family. That's why I sometimes don't post for a while--there is so much to say but much of it I can't talk about (yet). Good stuff, all of it, and I'm not complaining, but have you ever been in a situation where you are just waiting for events to unfold, and felt very impatient and restless? Uncertainty is driving me to the brink!

Facing My Demons

My kitchen is overrun with little moths. This has been a constant problem, particularly bad in recent months, so I finally decided to clean out the cabinets (again). This is a difficult task for me for 2 reasons: I have to sort through all of the old food, tossing anything moth infested, and wipe down all the shelves, which is an icky job. While doing this I also sort out old, but not moth infested food to throw away. I am somewhat obsessive-compulsive and I HATE to waste anything, so I evaluate canned and jarred goods, thinking "Well, this MIGHT still be good." Yet in reality, if I keep it I will NEVER eat it, because I always think, "I don't really know if that is good anymore." Going through the painful decision of whether or not to throw away each item is a psychologically grueling exercise for me.

This time I was able to part with some canned and dry goods that I know I brought here to Michigan with me 5 years ago, as well as some products that I am now admitting seemed like a good idea at the time, but I will NEVER eat, like the dried kelp and other ingredients I purchased when experimenting with macrobiotics.

Since I finished cleaning out the cabinets and putting moth traps in them, the number of moths has not diminished, despite the fact that there are no longer any unsealed food products of any kind available. If anything, they seem more active and spirited than ever. There are generally at least 2 flying around the kitchen at any time, and the past few days it seems they are constantly flying right at my face or into my hair.

#5 Turns 6!

T. turned 6 on Saturday, Apr. 22 (and I'm still behind!) It is a tradition in our extended family to throw a birthday party for each child and invite the extended family. This was planned for Saturday evening. On Saturday morning, she had a small party with 3 friends. It was her first friend party, and was significant because she is a slow bloomer socially, and didn't have many friends until this past year. Since her birthday fell on Earth Day, I got clay pots for the kids to paint, which we then planted a pansy in. They each had their potted flower, a spade and a watering can to take home, in lieu of those "goody bags" of absolute junk commonly distributed at parties. And the kids were so excited that they got to keep their spades and watering cans (acquired at Target before Easter for $1.00 each). I had planned that they would play Pin the Tail on the Dog (made by her big sister J) and musical chairs while we waited for the paint to dry, but it was difficult to generate interest. We did play one halfhearted game of Pin the Tail on the Dog, and then they went outside to play. We had pizza and birthday cheesecake for lunch (T's choice) and then opened gifts and that was the end. Short and sweet!

T. felt that she also wanted to have a private celebration with just her parents and siblings. Usually we do this on the actual day, and any friend or extended family parties are on the weekend, but since her birthday fell on Saturday the day was full. So we opted to have the small family celebration on Friday night. During the day on Friday she'd also celebrated her birthday at school, with cookies she brought in.

The only gift suggestion she had mentioned was that she wanted a globe. Three times we had this conversation: "You mean a globe of the earth?" "No, I mean a globe that plays music and has snow in it." "Oh." For some reason it was impossible for her harried and distracted mother to remember this, so I did ask her the same thing several more times on different days, to which she replied, "I already told you this!"

I looked at snow globes online, and saw some that were nice, but not compelling. I waited until several days before her birthday and called 3 local gift shops, none of which currently carried snow globes, although I'd seen them there in the past. Of course, it was now too late to order a snow globe online.

The other gift that I wanted to give her was a scooter. Not a small razor style scooter, but a large bicycle sized scooter with hand brakes. Years ago I had given scooters to 2 of the older kids, and I just found them in a bike shop. Once again, I called around to the NUMEROUS bike shops in my area, and not one carried scooters in stock, although many of the shops said they could order them. Panicked, I began calling shops further and further away, and found one in a shop about an hour's drive away. Thankfully, the bike shop was in a town near my mother-in-law's house, so I asked her to pick up the scooter for me. She was coming her Friday night anyway to attend D's track meet.

When I mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was also looking for a snow globe, she went to her local mall where she found 2 gift shops that carried them, and one had a huge variety and they were on sale 50% off! She bought one for me, and it was absolutely perfect! It had dogs both inside the globe and on the base, which turned while it played "Memories", and snow glitter inside. T's favorite thing is dogs. She has never liked dolls or traditional girly toys, nor does she care for cars, action figures or other "boy" toys. She already has a huge collection of stuffed animal dogs, so it was difficult to come up with new gift ideas for her.

I think she enjoyed all of her birthday celebrations, but was exhausted by the end, as was I. Being a foodie, I usually insist on only homemade birthday treats and cakes, but this time she took store bought cookies to school, and I bought the cheesecake, although I did put a yogurt and fresh fruit topping on it to make it look like a flower. She chose steak caesar salad for dinner on Friday night and I made a red velvet birthday cake. For breakfast on Saturday she requested puffed oven pancakes with fruit on top. We served hamburgers and hotdogs and potato chips for dinner (no salads or side dishes--how lame is that?) at the extended family party, followed by store bought ice cream cake.

T. herself is somewhat of an enigma. My only dark eyed child, and my only child born with a head full of hair! She is fiercely loyal and devoted to the family, and often mentions how much she loves her family. She is very sweet, extremely intelligent, and slightly immature for her age. I think this may arise from having been the baby of the family for more than 3 years. Often when challenged, disagreed with, scolded, or asked to do something she doesn't want to, she bursts into tears in an attempt to manipulate us. She is very astute about people and relationships and understands far more than she lets on. Somewhat timid, she does not enjoy rough play, being upside down, or things like that, and has yet to learn to ride a bike or to swim even a little.

She is a good playmate to her younger siblings and can be an able assistant to me when she wants to. She is generally happy and very loving. She is a person for whom still waters do run deep, and I am so curious to see who she will become!

Inside of Eagle Tavern

Inside of Eagle Tavern, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The reception dinner was served family style, by servers wearing period costumes. Although the building has modern plumbing and electricity, the tavern is lit only by hurricane lanterns on the tables and candelabra rather than electric lighting, giving it that historical feel.

Eagle Tavern

Eagle Tavern, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The reception took place in the Eagle Tavern, a short walk down a brick lined path from the chapel.

Martha Mary Chapel

Martha Mary Chapel, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

We were married in the Martha Mary Chapel. Our wedding took place on a Sunday evening, Mother's Day. About 120 guests attended our wedding and reception.

19 Years!

On May 10 Daryl and I celebrated 19 years of marriage. They have been blissfully, blessedly happy. Of course, we have had an occasional disagreement and a few bumps in the road, but have not had any major marital woes or personal tragedies to contend with. I cannot believe how lucky I am, to have found him, my soul mate, the only man I was ever able to be truly "me" with.

We met in a co-ed student rental house in Ann Arbor at the beginning of my junior/his senior year (fall 1984). Four friends and I had signed a lease for the 6 bedroom house the previous spring knowing we needed to find a 6th roomate in order for the house to be affordable. When we moved in that fall, we hung an ad on a bulletin board at the student union, and had a series of bizarre cretins somewhat unusual people come to our door to inquire about the room for rent. We were all liberal arts students, who didn't think much of a math oriented major like engineering, but by the time Daryl came to the door, he looked terrific by comparison to some of the previous would-be roomates. I wasn't home when he came by, but the others approved him in my absence, and told me "He's an engineer, but he's OK."

When I met him, what I thought was "Wow! He's cute!" So did all of my girlfriends, one of whom dated him briefly that year. I had a serious boyfriend at the time, so Daryl and I became close friends. As the school year drew to a close in the spring, both he and my boyfriend, (they were now acquaintances through me), another engineer, both got jobs at Arthur-Andersen and began commuting to work together. After a short time on the job, Daryl was transferred to the Chicago office. He called and came to visit often, including a special trip for my 21st birthday.

In the fall of 1985, my relationship with my boyfriend was on the rocks. I was applying to graduate school and needed to take the GRE exam. The day the test was being given locally was the date of my aunt's wedding in Chicago, so I arranged to go to Chicago early and take the test there, where it was offered the day before her wedding. I had asked Daryl to be my date to her wedding, as I had been his date to a wedding several months before. Sadly, the wedding was called off about a week before it was to take place. It was too late to change the test date at that point, so I travelled to Chicago, took the test, and visited with my aunt, who was having a difficult time. I also visited Daryl one evening. We met downtown, where he lived in a highrise apartment. He took me to the top of the John Hancock building for a drink, out for a Mexican dinner, and then to a blues bar to listen to music. It was a rainy, misty evening and I was wearing a cape I'd borrowed from my aunt. Several times he put his arm around me, and I thought he was being friendly, but when he kissed me I realized that he was being more than just friendly!

I had always been attracted to Daryl, but was now in the middle of a breakup with the guy I'd been dating for the past 1 1/2 years. When I got home, he and I had "the talk" and ended our relationship. I felt sad and wanted a little time to catch my breath, but Daryl was not interested in waiting. He came to visit the very next weekend, and was soon coming home every weekend to see me. We were soon a couple, and by December he had decided to quit his job and return to graduate school in January, choosing the University of Michigan because I was still there. I graduated in May 1986, we got engaged in November 1986, and married in May 1987.

We got married at Greenfield Village, a "village" of over 100 historic buildings in Dearborn, Michigan, that have been rescued, moved and restored by Henry Ford and his descendants. It is open to the public, and there are homes, businesses, shops, schools and churches, furnished and staffed by tour guides wearing period costumes who inform, demonstrate and educate the public about life in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Stay at home gang

Stay at home gang, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

K., T. and A. in the morning, curled up together on a chair.