Introducing Baby M., arrived home from Uganda Oct. 2, 2010.
Neglect
4 years ago
All of Us
At I's wedding in July 2019. Back row from left: My oldest D (27) and his wife B (27), My 6th K (16), My 3rd L (23), My 5th T (19), and my 7th A (14). Front row from left: My 9th Z (11), My 10th M (9), Me!, My new son-in-law L (23), My 4th I (22), my love D, My 2nd J (25), and my 8th M (11).
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Our Family
In left to right order, back row: D. (18), J. (16), L. (15), T. (10), I. (13), Paula holding baby M. (13 months), Daryl.
Front row: M. (3), Z. (2), K. (7), A. (6).
Happy New Year 2011!
Dear family and friends,
We hope that 2010 was a good year for all of you. It was a year of changes and excitement for us, so our newsletter update is somewhat longer than normal. As you may recall, we were planning to adopt 2 children from the Democratic Republic of Congo. It turned out that we were not actually eligible to adopt from the DRC because we had too many children in our family already. We ended our relationship with that adoption agency, since they were unaware of that restriction and wasted a lot of our time and some of our money. I began researching other countries and discovered that there was a great need in Uganda.
We contacted various orphanages and settled on Welcome Home, located in Jinja, Uganda, home to 65 children ages 6 and under. One of their requirements was that families adopt 2 children, which was exactly what we wanted to do. Other orphanages only allowed families to adopt one child at a time. The children are lovingly cared for by the women who work there, who are affectionately called “mums.” Each child is assigned to one of the mums as his/her primary caregiver. We were also impressed by WH’s commitment to the community. Only about half the children residing there are eligible for adoption; the others have parents who are not able to care for them at this time. WH provides small business loans to parents to assist them in becoming self supporting and able to care for their children, and gives them livestock when the children return home to help feed the family. They also do daily community outreach to area villages, spreading the word of God and identifying people in urgent need of medical care, for which they provide transportation and pay the medical fees. (There is no health insurance of any kind in Uganda). WH uses the money that adoptive parents are required to donate to do this. They also use the donation to provide adoption services to the parents while they are in country, including paying for the children’s passports and medical exams, providing all transportation to the families (a 2 hour drive each way to the capital, Kampala, where the court and embassy are located) and act as a liaison with the attorneys. See welcomehomeafrica.com to learn more about this wonderful place.
In February 2010 we were matched with our new children. Our United States adoption paperwork was totally complete at this time so we hoped that the process would be quick. We initiated the process of requesting a court date with our Uganda attorney, hoping for a date in early April. Unfortunately, just at this time the United States embassy began to have some concerns about the wording that Ugandan judges were using in the court orders, which grant parents permanent legal guardianship of the children and permission to adopt them abroad. As a result, the embassy stopped granting adopted children visas to come to the United States, which meant that parents now had legal custody of their children but could not bring them home. Due to this, we did not request a court date until the matter was resolved, which wasn’t until late June. Ugandan courts close for a month long summer holiday in mid July, so we ended up with an initial court date of Aug. 28.
The entire story of our trip can be read at www.meetingourkids.blogspot.com, but the abridged version is that D., J. and I headed to Uganda on Aug. 23, arriving Aug. 25. D. was only able to stay a week, during which time we began getting to know our kids and did some sightseeing and adventuring. J. and I remained for another 2 weeks, at which point Daryl joined us. Ugandans don’t conduct business the way we do, so there were numerous delays involving things like the judge deciding that she didn’t have time to see us that day, despite the fact that we had an appointment with her and that we’d risen before dawn, dragging the children with us, and traveled hours for our hearing. We received our verbal rulings granting us guardianship of the children about 2 weeks after we arrived, at which point they began living with us full time. J. left a few days after Daryl arrived, as she had already missed the first two weeks of school and needed to get back. Daryl stayed 2.5 weeks and then returned home, as several of our children were really missing us, despite being lovingly cared for by their grandparents and babysitters, and he had to get back to work. This left me there alone for the remaining few days, and meant that I had to travel home alone with 2 small children, a trip that involved 3 flights, 2 of which were 9 hours long and one that was 2 hours, and an 8 hour layover. To say that I was unraveled by the time we arrived is a huge understatement. I was in Uganda for almost 6 weeks, after we’d hoped and planned for a stay of 3-4 weeks.
Uganda is a beautiful place, and the people are mostly very friendly. It is, however, a lesser developed country where most of the people live in mud huts with straw roofs in villages without electricity or running water. The larger cities still experience frequent power outages which can be quite lengthy. The infrastructure is nonexistent or totally disintegrating in many places. For instance, there are no traffic lights anywhere, including the capital, which leads to massive traffic delays. The roads are full of potholes, which is a generous term, as in many places they more resemble trenches that must be swerved around. The capital has been nicknamed Kampothole instead of Kampala. There is no air conditioning in any building, despite the warm weather, and public restrooms are routinely without warm water, soap or toilet paper. American chains and fast food restaurants have not penetrated Uganda.
While in Uganda we did almost everything with a wonderful couple who were adopting 2 beautiful girls, ages 2 and 4, from the same orphanage as we were, and we soon became close friends.
My extended absence was very hard on the family. I was missed very much. When I returned, exhausted beyond words, becoming ill my second day home, I had to jump right into the normal routine, while helping both my new and old children get adjusted to one another and to our new family life. I had anticipated that it would be difficult having 3 children age 3 and under, but it was even more challenging than I had imagined, especially at my age. M. in particular has been acting out and coming up with naughty pranks, like flooding bathrooms and coloring on walls, which Z. enjoys assisting him with. We’ve never really had a child create so much mischief, so that is new and unexpected, and requires more constant monitoring than I had anticipated. Things are beginning to settle down a tiny bit at this point, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have also hired a wonderful mother’s helper to ease the transition.
D. graduated from high school last year at the top of his class, and much to our delight, chose to attend the University of Michigan to study engineering, despite a generous offer from another school. He has both had a great time and done really well at his studies this semester. He is living in a dormitory suite with 3 roommates. He has been missed by parents and siblings alike, but has been able to come home for several visits.
J. began her junior year of high school this fall with a monumental task ahead of her, which was catching up on all of the schoolwork she missed while in Uganda. It was very difficult, but she did a great job of meeting the challenge. She got her driver’s license in August, and is now able to shuttle herself to and from school and various activities, like cross country. It was a joy to have her with me in Uganda, and a transforming and maturing experience for her.
L. is a freshman in high school this year. He played on the JV soccer team this fall and had a great season. He continues to be an excellent student and a lot of fun to be around, a help to me and very sweet playmate to his younger siblings. He is currently playing basketball but longing for soccer to begin again! He was confirmed in the Catholic church this fall.
I. is in the eighth grade. She earned a position as a Junior Advisor at her school, which is a leadership group similar to student council that plans and carries out many school activities and community service projects. It has been a great experience for her. She also played volleyball and continues to play the clarinet in band, and will be learning to play saxophone this coming semester. Always the social butterfly, she has a very active social life.
T. is in the fifth grade this year. She continues to love to read and is an outstanding student. She is also still involved in horseback trail riding. She is a terrific big sister to all of her younger siblings and is the favorite of several of them.
K., second grader, is easygoing and very smart. He is another bookworm who loves reading and school. He enjoys helping Daryl with projects and has a very analytical “engineering” mind.
A. began kindergarten this year and loves it. She is also a great big sister and roommate to her new sister Zariah. Her first love is art and writing. She is constantly making cards and pictures for all of us.
M. is 3 and in preschool. He still has his blond curls. His big achievement this past year was learning to talk. When I departed for Uganda he did not talk except for a few single words, and when I returned home he could speak in sentences! It was remarkable and somewhat unnerving for me. We think that not having someone around who understood his every need, want and gesture (me) motivated him to begin speaking so he could communicate with grandparents and babysitters. He is currently working on potty training.
Z. will turn 3 and will begin preschool in January. She is a bright spark in our lives, lively and very affectionate. She is astoundingly resilient and adaptable, handling all of the recent changes in her life with amazing ease. She is petite but very coordinated. Her behavior is typical for her age--she hates going to bed, and is doing some testing of us as parents. This is a good sign, however, as it means she trusts us. She is a little bit of a princess--she would prefer to be carried around and babied, but since she is not the youngest that isn’t possible, so she is learning to accept it. She is potty trained, and knew a little English when we met her, but since then she has acquired language skills at warp speed, now speaking in short sentences and making all of her needs and wants known.
Baby M. is a happy little boy of 13 months. When he arrived home at 11 months, he was somewhat delayed physically. He could sit but not crawl or pull himself to standing, nor could he get from laying to sitting or vice versa. He did not feed himself at all and had not developed the pincer grasp with index finger and thumb to pick things up. Since then, he has learned to army crawl, traditional crawl, pull himself up and cruise furniture. He is not walking yet but has begun to let go and take 1-2 steps, so it won’t be long. He developed the pincer grasp and can drink from a sippy cup and feed himself finger foods, although he is often still reluctant to, but we are working on that. He is not talking yet and does not know all of our names, and is just beginning to say mama. He loves music, however, and can clap, sway and “dance” to the beat and will do so to even the briefest melody. He has also begun trying to whistle and occasionally succeeds! He is very attached to me, as most babies are to their mamas, which is amazing to me since he has not known me very long.
Z. and Baby M. were baptized on Dec. 11 with siblings D. and J. as godparents. The family photo in our New Year’s card was taken that evening.
Daryl continues in his positions as Professor and CEO. His current favorite activity, besides building things around the house and property, is mountain biking on the many forest trails in our area.
As for me, my trip to Uganda was the most challenging experience of my life. I have never wanted to travel to Africa, and I faced numerous trials and obstacles, ranging from the hot and humid weather, large insects, “rustic” accomodations, to the Ugandan way of both life and business where nothing is ever seen as urgent or done in a hurry and appointments are not viewed as firm commitments. I am thankful that God gave me the grace to handle all of it and bring home our precious new children. Now I have recovered from my stay in Uganda, and am working harder than ever in my position as mother and household manager. With my rheumatologist’s permission, I attempted to discontinue the monthly IV treamtments for my autoimmune disease, hoping that I was in remission, since I felt excellent and my only symptoms were the lingering rash, (which often takes longer to cure than the muscle weakness). However, since Thanksgiving I have begun to notice myself getting weaker, which seemed to accelerate in the past week, so I called the rheumatologist, who told me to take large doses of steroids again (after taking many months to slowly wean off of them!) and I will see him again next week, at which point I’ll either resume the IV treatments or try something new since I unfortunately am clearly not in remission. I have also developed a hernia, which may have been caused by the muscle weakness, ironically as a result of attempting to lift our Thanksgiving turkey! I am scheduled to have this repaired in February.
Our wishes for all of you are a healthy, peaceful and prosperous 2011!
We hope that 2010 was a good year for all of you. It was a year of changes and excitement for us, so our newsletter update is somewhat longer than normal. As you may recall, we were planning to adopt 2 children from the Democratic Republic of Congo. It turned out that we were not actually eligible to adopt from the DRC because we had too many children in our family already. We ended our relationship with that adoption agency, since they were unaware of that restriction and wasted a lot of our time and some of our money. I began researching other countries and discovered that there was a great need in Uganda.
We contacted various orphanages and settled on Welcome Home, located in Jinja, Uganda, home to 65 children ages 6 and under. One of their requirements was that families adopt 2 children, which was exactly what we wanted to do. Other orphanages only allowed families to adopt one child at a time. The children are lovingly cared for by the women who work there, who are affectionately called “mums.” Each child is assigned to one of the mums as his/her primary caregiver. We were also impressed by WH’s commitment to the community. Only about half the children residing there are eligible for adoption; the others have parents who are not able to care for them at this time. WH provides small business loans to parents to assist them in becoming self supporting and able to care for their children, and gives them livestock when the children return home to help feed the family. They also do daily community outreach to area villages, spreading the word of God and identifying people in urgent need of medical care, for which they provide transportation and pay the medical fees. (There is no health insurance of any kind in Uganda). WH uses the money that adoptive parents are required to donate to do this. They also use the donation to provide adoption services to the parents while they are in country, including paying for the children’s passports and medical exams, providing all transportation to the families (a 2 hour drive each way to the capital, Kampala, where the court and embassy are located) and act as a liaison with the attorneys. See welcomehomeafrica.com to learn more about this wonderful place.
In February 2010 we were matched with our new children. Our United States adoption paperwork was totally complete at this time so we hoped that the process would be quick. We initiated the process of requesting a court date with our Uganda attorney, hoping for a date in early April. Unfortunately, just at this time the United States embassy began to have some concerns about the wording that Ugandan judges were using in the court orders, which grant parents permanent legal guardianship of the children and permission to adopt them abroad. As a result, the embassy stopped granting adopted children visas to come to the United States, which meant that parents now had legal custody of their children but could not bring them home. Due to this, we did not request a court date until the matter was resolved, which wasn’t until late June. Ugandan courts close for a month long summer holiday in mid July, so we ended up with an initial court date of Aug. 28.
The entire story of our trip can be read at www.meetingourkids.blogspot.com, but the abridged version is that D., J. and I headed to Uganda on Aug. 23, arriving Aug. 25. D. was only able to stay a week, during which time we began getting to know our kids and did some sightseeing and adventuring. J. and I remained for another 2 weeks, at which point Daryl joined us. Ugandans don’t conduct business the way we do, so there were numerous delays involving things like the judge deciding that she didn’t have time to see us that day, despite the fact that we had an appointment with her and that we’d risen before dawn, dragging the children with us, and traveled hours for our hearing. We received our verbal rulings granting us guardianship of the children about 2 weeks after we arrived, at which point they began living with us full time. J. left a few days after Daryl arrived, as she had already missed the first two weeks of school and needed to get back. Daryl stayed 2.5 weeks and then returned home, as several of our children were really missing us, despite being lovingly cared for by their grandparents and babysitters, and he had to get back to work. This left me there alone for the remaining few days, and meant that I had to travel home alone with 2 small children, a trip that involved 3 flights, 2 of which were 9 hours long and one that was 2 hours, and an 8 hour layover. To say that I was unraveled by the time we arrived is a huge understatement. I was in Uganda for almost 6 weeks, after we’d hoped and planned for a stay of 3-4 weeks.
Uganda is a beautiful place, and the people are mostly very friendly. It is, however, a lesser developed country where most of the people live in mud huts with straw roofs in villages without electricity or running water. The larger cities still experience frequent power outages which can be quite lengthy. The infrastructure is nonexistent or totally disintegrating in many places. For instance, there are no traffic lights anywhere, including the capital, which leads to massive traffic delays. The roads are full of potholes, which is a generous term, as in many places they more resemble trenches that must be swerved around. The capital has been nicknamed Kampothole instead of Kampala. There is no air conditioning in any building, despite the warm weather, and public restrooms are routinely without warm water, soap or toilet paper. American chains and fast food restaurants have not penetrated Uganda.
While in Uganda we did almost everything with a wonderful couple who were adopting 2 beautiful girls, ages 2 and 4, from the same orphanage as we were, and we soon became close friends.
My extended absence was very hard on the family. I was missed very much. When I returned, exhausted beyond words, becoming ill my second day home, I had to jump right into the normal routine, while helping both my new and old children get adjusted to one another and to our new family life. I had anticipated that it would be difficult having 3 children age 3 and under, but it was even more challenging than I had imagined, especially at my age. M. in particular has been acting out and coming up with naughty pranks, like flooding bathrooms and coloring on walls, which Z. enjoys assisting him with. We’ve never really had a child create so much mischief, so that is new and unexpected, and requires more constant monitoring than I had anticipated. Things are beginning to settle down a tiny bit at this point, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have also hired a wonderful mother’s helper to ease the transition.
D. graduated from high school last year at the top of his class, and much to our delight, chose to attend the University of Michigan to study engineering, despite a generous offer from another school. He has both had a great time and done really well at his studies this semester. He is living in a dormitory suite with 3 roommates. He has been missed by parents and siblings alike, but has been able to come home for several visits.
J. began her junior year of high school this fall with a monumental task ahead of her, which was catching up on all of the schoolwork she missed while in Uganda. It was very difficult, but she did a great job of meeting the challenge. She got her driver’s license in August, and is now able to shuttle herself to and from school and various activities, like cross country. It was a joy to have her with me in Uganda, and a transforming and maturing experience for her.
L. is a freshman in high school this year. He played on the JV soccer team this fall and had a great season. He continues to be an excellent student and a lot of fun to be around, a help to me and very sweet playmate to his younger siblings. He is currently playing basketball but longing for soccer to begin again! He was confirmed in the Catholic church this fall.
I. is in the eighth grade. She earned a position as a Junior Advisor at her school, which is a leadership group similar to student council that plans and carries out many school activities and community service projects. It has been a great experience for her. She also played volleyball and continues to play the clarinet in band, and will be learning to play saxophone this coming semester. Always the social butterfly, she has a very active social life.
T. is in the fifth grade this year. She continues to love to read and is an outstanding student. She is also still involved in horseback trail riding. She is a terrific big sister to all of her younger siblings and is the favorite of several of them.
K., second grader, is easygoing and very smart. He is another bookworm who loves reading and school. He enjoys helping Daryl with projects and has a very analytical “engineering” mind.
A. began kindergarten this year and loves it. She is also a great big sister and roommate to her new sister Zariah. Her first love is art and writing. She is constantly making cards and pictures for all of us.
M. is 3 and in preschool. He still has his blond curls. His big achievement this past year was learning to talk. When I departed for Uganda he did not talk except for a few single words, and when I returned home he could speak in sentences! It was remarkable and somewhat unnerving for me. We think that not having someone around who understood his every need, want and gesture (me) motivated him to begin speaking so he could communicate with grandparents and babysitters. He is currently working on potty training.
Z. will turn 3 and will begin preschool in January. She is a bright spark in our lives, lively and very affectionate. She is astoundingly resilient and adaptable, handling all of the recent changes in her life with amazing ease. She is petite but very coordinated. Her behavior is typical for her age--she hates going to bed, and is doing some testing of us as parents. This is a good sign, however, as it means she trusts us. She is a little bit of a princess--she would prefer to be carried around and babied, but since she is not the youngest that isn’t possible, so she is learning to accept it. She is potty trained, and knew a little English when we met her, but since then she has acquired language skills at warp speed, now speaking in short sentences and making all of her needs and wants known.
Baby M. is a happy little boy of 13 months. When he arrived home at 11 months, he was somewhat delayed physically. He could sit but not crawl or pull himself to standing, nor could he get from laying to sitting or vice versa. He did not feed himself at all and had not developed the pincer grasp with index finger and thumb to pick things up. Since then, he has learned to army crawl, traditional crawl, pull himself up and cruise furniture. He is not walking yet but has begun to let go and take 1-2 steps, so it won’t be long. He developed the pincer grasp and can drink from a sippy cup and feed himself finger foods, although he is often still reluctant to, but we are working on that. He is not talking yet and does not know all of our names, and is just beginning to say mama. He loves music, however, and can clap, sway and “dance” to the beat and will do so to even the briefest melody. He has also begun trying to whistle and occasionally succeeds! He is very attached to me, as most babies are to their mamas, which is amazing to me since he has not known me very long.
Z. and Baby M. were baptized on Dec. 11 with siblings D. and J. as godparents. The family photo in our New Year’s card was taken that evening.
Daryl continues in his positions as Professor and CEO. His current favorite activity, besides building things around the house and property, is mountain biking on the many forest trails in our area.
As for me, my trip to Uganda was the most challenging experience of my life. I have never wanted to travel to Africa, and I faced numerous trials and obstacles, ranging from the hot and humid weather, large insects, “rustic” accomodations, to the Ugandan way of both life and business where nothing is ever seen as urgent or done in a hurry and appointments are not viewed as firm commitments. I am thankful that God gave me the grace to handle all of it and bring home our precious new children. Now I have recovered from my stay in Uganda, and am working harder than ever in my position as mother and household manager. With my rheumatologist’s permission, I attempted to discontinue the monthly IV treamtments for my autoimmune disease, hoping that I was in remission, since I felt excellent and my only symptoms were the lingering rash, (which often takes longer to cure than the muscle weakness). However, since Thanksgiving I have begun to notice myself getting weaker, which seemed to accelerate in the past week, so I called the rheumatologist, who told me to take large doses of steroids again (after taking many months to slowly wean off of them!) and I will see him again next week, at which point I’ll either resume the IV treatments or try something new since I unfortunately am clearly not in remission. I have also developed a hernia, which may have been caused by the muscle weakness, ironically as a result of attempting to lift our Thanksgiving turkey! I am scheduled to have this repaired in February.
Our wishes for all of you are a healthy, peaceful and prosperous 2011!
Monday, November 08, 2010
Hair
Jasmine and I did Zariah's hair yesterday in twists. I think it came out pretty well for an amateur.
Halloween 2010
Back row: Pirate Tessa, witch Anya, Firewoman Jasmine, dog Micah, and Firewoman cousin Maddy.
Front row: Fairy princess Zariah, Builder Mateo, and dementor Keegan.
Monday, October 11, 2010
All of Us
For those of you who don't know, I spent the past 5 weeks in Uganda adopting 2 children, Zariah age 2.5 and Micah age 11 months.
Now here we are, all 12 of us!
If you want to read more about it, I have an adoption blog www.meetingourkids.blogspot.com
Friday, August 06, 2010
Joining the Club
Daryl and I are thrilled to announce that Dillon has decided to attend the University of Michigan. Not only will he be close to home (and we are elated about that), we are both alumni. Actually, believe it or not, between the two of us we have 7 diplomas from the University of Michigan! So of course we think it is a terrific choice!
I Just Want to Scream
Our summer has been terrific. Lots of relaxation. We spent a week lounging on the shore of Lake Michigan. The water was unseasonable warm, lots of waves and sunshine. The only thing that could be better is if our new children were here. This would be the perfect time to bond with them as a family, when everyone is at home more and much less busy.
I can't go into any of the details, but there has been delay after delay and problem after problem with the adoption process. It does not have to do with us specifically, but with the country we are adopting from. Other people who are adopting from this country are experiencing the same issues. But it is SO frustrating! I just want to bring them home! Our son is now 9 months old and our daughter is 2.5 years. I want to be able to squeeze that boy while he is still a baby and I want our daughter to get to know us before she gets too much older.
I just want to at least know when we can go and get them. We have been told every other day for over 2 weeks that we would REALLY find out our travel date (which is supposed to be later this month but I'm starting to doubt it) in another day or 2, but when that day comes we STILL don't know.
Anyway, just venting. Sigh.
I can't go into any of the details, but there has been delay after delay and problem after problem with the adoption process. It does not have to do with us specifically, but with the country we are adopting from. Other people who are adopting from this country are experiencing the same issues. But it is SO frustrating! I just want to bring them home! Our son is now 9 months old and our daughter is 2.5 years. I want to be able to squeeze that boy while he is still a baby and I want our daughter to get to know us before she gets too much older.
I just want to at least know when we can go and get them. We have been told every other day for over 2 weeks that we would REALLY find out our travel date (which is supposed to be later this month but I'm starting to doubt it) in another day or 2, but when that day comes we STILL don't know.
Anyway, just venting. Sigh.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
The 5 of us
My sister Laura came into town for Dillon's graduation. Here is the family I grew up in.
From left: Mom, Dad, Laura, Pam and Paula.
Family at Graduation Mass
Our oldest child, Dillon, graduated on June 6. Here we are at the graduation mass held at our church.
From left: L., J., Daryl, Dillon, I., and me
Front row: M., T. K. and A.
Senior Honors Night
Dillon received his NHS cords, the ribbon signifying that he graduated summa cum laude, 2 scholarships, and numerous other honors.
Mother's Day Brunch
The day began with a beautiful brunch, prepared by Daryl and the kids. Both my mom and my mother-in-law were there.
Thursday, June 03, 2010
after
I know you've all been waiting with baited breath for the "after" photos! LOL Here I am. I still have some abdominal swelling in front and on the sides, so I will be even thinner in another few months.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Updates
Post surgery update: Although they only removed 7 lbs. (3 of breast and 4 of belly)--I guess since the rest of me is thin and it was targeted weight loss it made a huge difference. I am wearing pants 2 sizes smaller than I was! I can wear normal bras and shop at stores like Victoria's Secret for bras now, and even go braless if I want! It was a painful recovery, and I developed an infection in one of the permanent interior abdominal sutures at about 3 weeks post surgery which made it take longer, (I had to take double strength antibiotics for 14 days and even then the surgeon said I had a 50% chance of it going away and a 50% chance he'd have to go in and remove the suture--but it went away!) but now I feel and look great.
Adoption update--We are tentatively/hopefully going to Africa in late June to get our kids! I wish I could post pictures or more details but I can't--once they are ours I will though!
Illness update--I still receive monthly IVIG treatments which keep it under control, but it is not in remission. Remission is no meds/no symptoms. I just began a new drug last week which will hopefully get me at least into a drug remission, which is no symptoms with drugs. I still have the rashes, and I imagine if I discontinued the IV treatments the muscle weakness would return. This drug is an immune suppressant that they give transplant patients, so it will make me slightly more prone to illness, which will hopefully be offset by the IV treatments which are other people's pooled antibodies.
So please pray for complete remission for me and that our adoptions and adjustments at home afterward go really smoothly!
Adoption update--We are tentatively/hopefully going to Africa in late June to get our kids! I wish I could post pictures or more details but I can't--once they are ours I will though!
Illness update--I still receive monthly IVIG treatments which keep it under control, but it is not in remission. Remission is no meds/no symptoms. I just began a new drug last week which will hopefully get me at least into a drug remission, which is no symptoms with drugs. I still have the rashes, and I imagine if I discontinued the IV treatments the muscle weakness would return. This drug is an immune suppressant that they give transplant patients, so it will make me slightly more prone to illness, which will hopefully be offset by the IV treatments which are other people's pooled antibodies.
So please pray for complete remission for me and that our adoptions and adjustments at home afterward go really smoothly!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
We couldn't be prouder.
This is my oldest child, D, speaking at the National Honor Society Convocation last week. He is President, so he gave the opening speech summarizing the group's astonishing list of service activities. Despite his reluctance, he did a great job!
Friday, April 02, 2010
Prayers Needed
Just as I was feeling almost totally back to normal, my abdominal scar became infected. I didn't know that scars could get infected, but I guess all the healing is not complete on the inside. I am taking antibiotics, and the dr. said I should see improvement in 48 hours, which it has almost been, and no change. It both itches and hurts a lot, and is rather swollen. I'm also extremely fatigued. If it doesn't heal soon, I may not be able to go on spring break with my family!
Consoling the Heart of Jesus
That is the title of a book I have read over Lent that has truly changed my life. Written by a priest, Michael Gaitley, it is based on the teachings of St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Faustina. It teaches all about prayer, about having a trusting relationship with Jesus, what he really wants from us, and how to give that to him, in a way that is clear, easy to understand, and not overwhelming. It has changed my life. I can't recommend this book enough.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
One Week Post-Op
The first 3-4 days post surgery I felt a little better each day. The next 2 days seemed more painful, as though I was going backwards. I actually cried on day 5. My strategy had been to take as little Vicodin as possible, only when I needed it. As I got better, I thought I needed it less, so I was taking less and letting it wear off in between doses. Then I would be in a lot of pain. I was worried the surgeon would tell me to "suck it up". Daryl said, "He will tell you to quit trying to be tough and take more pain medication" which was exactly what he said. He exact words were, "So, I hear you have been tormenting yourself." Apparently the nurse had shared with him what was happening since I had already told her.
Now I am back to alternating Ibuprofen and Vicodin every 3 hours, which works great. Leaves me slighty fuzzy, but not too bad. Hopefully by the 10-14 day mark I can stop using the narcotics, but until then, drugs are my friend!
Now I am back to alternating Ibuprofen and Vicodin every 3 hours, which works great. Leaves me slighty fuzzy, but not too bad. Hopefully by the 10-14 day mark I can stop using the narcotics, but until then, drugs are my friend!
How Many Homes Have You Lived In?
I was just thinking about this and decided to add mine up.
During my childhood I lived in 2 homes.
In college, there were 5.
After getting married there have been 9.
Grand total = 16
Leave a comment and post your total.
During my childhood I lived in 2 homes.
In college, there were 5.
After getting married there have been 9.
Grand total = 16
Leave a comment and post your total.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Don't Cry Because It's Over. Smile Because It Happened.
I am trying to keep the above quote by Dr. Seuss in mind as I traverse the next phase of parenting, but it isn't easy. As senior year for D. draws to a close, and he gets closer and closer to leaving home, I have very carefully avoided thinking about how it will FEEL to have him gone. Now, however, I have been confronted. Spring break is coming, and D. would rather go to a cabin in northern Michigan with his buddies than on a family trip with us. Since he is almost 18 and has always used good judgement, we are allowing him to do that, but I had no idea how sad it would make me feel. I'm not sure which makes me sadder--that he won't be coming with us, or that he doesn't want to.
This is just a prelude to how I will feel next fall, I imagine. Heartbroken.
This is just a prelude to how I will feel next fall, I imagine. Heartbroken.
Friday, February 26, 2010
News
I have 2 news items to report.
The first is that we have been matched with children, a 2 year old girl and a 3 month old baby boy. We will hopefully travel in May to get them (many things are up in the air right now so it is not definite). I can't give any more details or show photos at this time, but we are all very excited!
The second news item is that I have decided to have a breast reduction and abdominoplasty. My chest size has caused me discomfort my entire life, and they are much larger than they used to be, so now that I am done using my breasts for their intended purpose (my baby is weaned!) I am ready to remedy the problem. As for the abdominoplasty--let's just say that carrying 8 full term babies weighing approximately 10 pounds each leaves you with a drooping flap of skin that no amount of exercise will fix. The surgery is scheduled for Mar. 5, 2010. I am nervous and excited! Please keep me in your prayers that the surgery goes smoothly and that I recover easily.
The first is that we have been matched with children, a 2 year old girl and a 3 month old baby boy. We will hopefully travel in May to get them (many things are up in the air right now so it is not definite). I can't give any more details or show photos at this time, but we are all very excited!
The second news item is that I have decided to have a breast reduction and abdominoplasty. My chest size has caused me discomfort my entire life, and they are much larger than they used to be, so now that I am done using my breasts for their intended purpose (my baby is weaned!) I am ready to remedy the problem. As for the abdominoplasty--let's just say that carrying 8 full term babies weighing approximately 10 pounds each leaves you with a drooping flap of skin that no amount of exercise will fix. The surgery is scheduled for Mar. 5, 2010. I am nervous and excited! Please keep me in your prayers that the surgery goes smoothly and that I recover easily.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Your Mothering Style
I love Meyers-Briggs type personality quizzes and this seemed like a good one. Here are my results:
 I'm a "How To" Mother!(Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) Organized and comfortable being in charge, I know .how to. get things done, make things happen, and accomplish much on behalf of my children. What's your mothering personality type? Take the MotherStyles quiz at FamilyEducation.com! |
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Making Progress
Yesterday we got word that USCIS (Dept. of Homeland Security/Immigration) has approved our application to adopt. One step closer! Now we are awaiting our referrals. Once we have them, it will be approximately 2 months until we travel to pick up our children.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Happy New Year 2010!
Dear friends and family,
We hope that 2009 was a good year for all of you, as it was for us. Here are some highlights:
D. (17) is finishing his senior year of high school. He played his final season of varsity football, and then turned his attention to college applications. Thus far, he has applied to the University of Michigan and the University of Arizona. He has been admitted to the University of Michigan and awarded a modest scholarship. He plans to also apply to Stanford, Case Western, and Carnegie Mellon. D. was elected president of the National Honor Society, which is a very active service group at Dexter High School, and he now spends many mornings getting up extra early to attend NHS meetings before school.
J. (15) continues to run, and competed on the cross country team again this fall. She did well, improving her times significantly from last year. She continues to play the flute and march in the marching band. Jasmine works hard at her studies and does well in school. She is also involved in the church youth group, and last summer she went on another National Relief Network service trip. In addition, she began dating this fall. She wins the award as our busiest family member!
L. (14) continues to be a multisport athlete, participating in football and soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter, and track in the spring. He trained to become a soccer referee last summer and is now able to earn some spending money refereeing younger teams' games. He is also an excellent student, and has a constant flow of visiting friends and invitations.
I. (12) began middle school this fall, where she is doing very well. She played volleyball this fall for the first time and really enjoyed it. She plans to play basketball this winter. She continues to play the piano and also has a VERY busy social life.
T. (9) is now in the 4th grade. She is an extremely avid reader. She also participates in a horseback trail riding group where she is learning riding skills and how to care for horses while having a great time going on long rides to fun destinations.
K. (6) began 1st grade this year, and has begun to read! He played soccer for the first time last summer, with his Dad as coach. He continues to be an extremely friendly and inquisitive child.
A. (5) is completing her final year of preschool. She has really blossomed there, becoming more confident and less shy. She took karate lessons this fall and was a natural at it. She knows all of the letters and their sounds, and can read and write many words on her own.
M. (2) is a boy of few words, literally. He has not really begun to talk, but has a "vocabulary" consisting of 3-4 words and many sounds and gestures, which enable him to communicate quite well, and of course he understands everything we say. He continues to be really large for his age (Nickname: Clifford) and to love motorized vehicles more than anything. He calls them all "vroom vrooms" and has been known to stroll through a parking lot patting each car on the hood while sighing "vroom vroom."
Paula has had an excellent year. She began IV immunoglobulin treatments at the beginning of the year, which have kept her dermatomyositis in check. It is not in remission yet, so she continues to get a treatment once a month, but she has been able to wean almost completely off the steroids and her rheumatologist assures her that the disease will eventually go into remission. For now, she is feeling excellent and enjoying her good health.
Daryl continues to work very hard in his dual roles as a Professor at the University of Michigan and the CEO of his company, Neuronexus Technologies. He is also the lead 'sports fan' and went to many games and meets through the year to watch the kids compete. Daryl stays busy around our old/new house, with its myriad landscaping and handyman projects.
The major home project we completed last year was finishing our basement. We converted it from a dim, dusty room with a pool table and foosball table surrounded by cardboard boxes to a well lit, brightly painted teen hangout/kids playroom/exercise area. We built storage closets and bookcases, installed a drop ceiling, lighting and drywall, painted the walls and covered the concrete floor with a combination of carpet and paint. Once it was complete, we allowed the kids to pool their money and buy a Wii, our first and only video game system.
We need the finished basement, because any time that school is not in session, our household slides into nonstop party mode. With the older kids, the party gets started around 9pm when they seem to come alive, and it goes into the night, generally past the time that Daryl and Paula call it a day. The younger kids begin playing early in the morning and it goes on all day from room to room. This year we hosted a Halloween party in which each kid had unlimited invitations for their friends. This resulted in a crowd of 60-70 guests, roving bands of kids of different ages and a traffic jam in our driveway.
This past year we took two family trips. Over spring break we drove to Asheville, NC, where we visited Daryl's brother and sister-in-law, saw the local sights and did some hiking. Then we traveled on to Myrtle Beach, SC, where we enjoyed a few days on the ocean. This past summer we went on a family vacation to Northport, MI, where we spent a week on the beach of Lake Michigan, which was very relaxing. Unfortunately, during both beach vacations we had unseasonably cold air and water temperatures. Luckily, we had invested in the wetsuits you see in the photograph.
Our family made an important decision this year. We have decided to adopt 2 children from the Democratic Republic of Congo. We began the process in August, and at this point are awaiting approval from the United States immigration department, which we anticipate receiving in early January, and awaiting referrals of specific children from our adoption agency. We have requested a 2 year old boy and an infant girl. The most current estimate is that we will probably be able to travel to get our children in Feb. or March 2010. Daryl, D. and J. will be making the trip, which will take about one week. We are all extremely excited and it is very hard to be patient!
We wish all of you a happy and healthy 2010 filled with many blessings!
We hope that 2009 was a good year for all of you, as it was for us. Here are some highlights:
D. (17) is finishing his senior year of high school. He played his final season of varsity football, and then turned his attention to college applications. Thus far, he has applied to the University of Michigan and the University of Arizona. He has been admitted to the University of Michigan and awarded a modest scholarship. He plans to also apply to Stanford, Case Western, and Carnegie Mellon. D. was elected president of the National Honor Society, which is a very active service group at Dexter High School, and he now spends many mornings getting up extra early to attend NHS meetings before school.
J. (15) continues to run, and competed on the cross country team again this fall. She did well, improving her times significantly from last year. She continues to play the flute and march in the marching band. Jasmine works hard at her studies and does well in school. She is also involved in the church youth group, and last summer she went on another National Relief Network service trip. In addition, she began dating this fall. She wins the award as our busiest family member!
L. (14) continues to be a multisport athlete, participating in football and soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter, and track in the spring. He trained to become a soccer referee last summer and is now able to earn some spending money refereeing younger teams' games. He is also an excellent student, and has a constant flow of visiting friends and invitations.
I. (12) began middle school this fall, where she is doing very well. She played volleyball this fall for the first time and really enjoyed it. She plans to play basketball this winter. She continues to play the piano and also has a VERY busy social life.
T. (9) is now in the 4th grade. She is an extremely avid reader. She also participates in a horseback trail riding group where she is learning riding skills and how to care for horses while having a great time going on long rides to fun destinations.
K. (6) began 1st grade this year, and has begun to read! He played soccer for the first time last summer, with his Dad as coach. He continues to be an extremely friendly and inquisitive child.
A. (5) is completing her final year of preschool. She has really blossomed there, becoming more confident and less shy. She took karate lessons this fall and was a natural at it. She knows all of the letters and their sounds, and can read and write many words on her own.
M. (2) is a boy of few words, literally. He has not really begun to talk, but has a "vocabulary" consisting of 3-4 words and many sounds and gestures, which enable him to communicate quite well, and of course he understands everything we say. He continues to be really large for his age (Nickname: Clifford) and to love motorized vehicles more than anything. He calls them all "vroom vrooms" and has been known to stroll through a parking lot patting each car on the hood while sighing "vroom vroom."
Paula has had an excellent year. She began IV immunoglobulin treatments at the beginning of the year, which have kept her dermatomyositis in check. It is not in remission yet, so she continues to get a treatment once a month, but she has been able to wean almost completely off the steroids and her rheumatologist assures her that the disease will eventually go into remission. For now, she is feeling excellent and enjoying her good health.
Daryl continues to work very hard in his dual roles as a Professor at the University of Michigan and the CEO of his company, Neuronexus Technologies. He is also the lead 'sports fan' and went to many games and meets through the year to watch the kids compete. Daryl stays busy around our old/new house, with its myriad landscaping and handyman projects.
The major home project we completed last year was finishing our basement. We converted it from a dim, dusty room with a pool table and foosball table surrounded by cardboard boxes to a well lit, brightly painted teen hangout/kids playroom/exercise area. We built storage closets and bookcases, installed a drop ceiling, lighting and drywall, painted the walls and covered the concrete floor with a combination of carpet and paint. Once it was complete, we allowed the kids to pool their money and buy a Wii, our first and only video game system.
We need the finished basement, because any time that school is not in session, our household slides into nonstop party mode. With the older kids, the party gets started around 9pm when they seem to come alive, and it goes into the night, generally past the time that Daryl and Paula call it a day. The younger kids begin playing early in the morning and it goes on all day from room to room. This year we hosted a Halloween party in which each kid had unlimited invitations for their friends. This resulted in a crowd of 60-70 guests, roving bands of kids of different ages and a traffic jam in our driveway.
This past year we took two family trips. Over spring break we drove to Asheville, NC, where we visited Daryl's brother and sister-in-law, saw the local sights and did some hiking. Then we traveled on to Myrtle Beach, SC, where we enjoyed a few days on the ocean. This past summer we went on a family vacation to Northport, MI, where we spent a week on the beach of Lake Michigan, which was very relaxing. Unfortunately, during both beach vacations we had unseasonably cold air and water temperatures. Luckily, we had invested in the wetsuits you see in the photograph.
Our family made an important decision this year. We have decided to adopt 2 children from the Democratic Republic of Congo. We began the process in August, and at this point are awaiting approval from the United States immigration department, which we anticipate receiving in early January, and awaiting referrals of specific children from our adoption agency. We have requested a 2 year old boy and an infant girl. The most current estimate is that we will probably be able to travel to get our children in Feb. or March 2010. Daryl, D. and J. will be making the trip, which will take about one week. We are all extremely excited and it is very hard to be patient!
We wish all of you a happy and healthy 2010 filled with many blessings!
Peace and Love
This was our New Year's card this year. It had our names but I removed them for privacy.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Christmas tree 2009
This was the earliest we ever put up our tree, on Thanksgiving weekend. It was also some of the easiest decorating our house. The kids carried the boxes up from the basement and I went through them, handing out decorations and telling them where to put them. It only took about 2-3 hours to do both the tree and the house. It has been really fun having it all done early to enjoy!
Fancy!
Here are Daryl and I headed out to a black tie event, our first ever. I had never owned an evening gown before this, either.
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About Me
- Paula
- SE Michigan, United States
- Mother to 10 fabulous kids, ages 9 to 27 years! Mother-in-law to 2 more awesome young adults! Married for 32 years to my best friend.
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God Will Make A Way6 years ago
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Zootopia is Cute as a Bunny, Sly as a Fox10 years ago
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Cardmaking and Operation Write Home12 years ago
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Week 1 2013/2014 School Year13 years ago
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My latest project14 years ago
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