K's Birth Story

K. was our first child born in Michigan. I wanted to see a nurse midwife as I had with the previous 3 children. There are 2 nurse midwife practices in my area. One is a group of 9 and the other is a group of 2. I called the larger practice and was told that the clinic nearest me had 2 of the 9 midwives practicing there, and that they did their own deliveries. I was concerned that with such a large group, I would not get to know them all and have a relative stranger at delivery. At my first appointment, however, I found out that the information I was given was incorrect, and that all 9 midwives rotate being on call. She assured me that they have common practice guidelines and that they go over their cases biweekly so that any of them would be aware of any situation pertaining to me. They hadn't wanted to see me until I was 10-12 weeks, so by 18 weeks I'd had 3 visits, 2 with one midwife and one with the other. I just didn't get a warm feeling from them. The one I liked better had a very flat affect, as though she was depressed, and the other one was perkier, but brusque. My Arizona midwife was so wonderful, warm and loving, and we had grown very close over the years.

At that point I called the other midwifery practice in town and switched to them. I had seen one of their midwives before for an annual checkup and really liked her, and really wanted fewer people in the practice. Unfortunately they were a 30 minute drive away, while the other midwives had been only 10 minutes away.

I really like the new midwives and things went along fine until it came time for the GTT. They gave me the bottle of glucola and told me to drink it before I went to the lab for the blood draw. I forgot to make the appointment and promptly lost the glucola. (We got a new car and it was discarded when we sold the old one, I believe). At my next midwife appointment they gave me another bottle and told me to do it ASAP. I did, and it came back at 145. Anything above 140 is considered too high and you have to take the 3 hour GTT. I didn't want to take the 3 hour, so I convinced them to let me redo the 1 hour, arguing that I'd had a large lemonade about an hour before the test. This time I was very careful to not eat anything sugary, and it came back in the low 150s.

They told me it was important to eat at least 10 carb servings per day for the 3 days prior to the 3 hour GTT. I proceeded to binge on carbs, not realizing that this might have an impact on the test. In fact, the last thing I ate before the 12 hour fast began the night before was a Dove bar! My scores on the 3 hour were 105 fasting, 185 at one hour and well below the cutoff on at 2 and 3 hours. That was 5 above the cutoff for fasting and right on the cutoff at one hour. If you have any 2 scores above the cutoff you are considered to have gestational diabetes. I was so borderline that I didn't really believe that diagnosis, and there are actually 2 sets of criteria, the National Diagnostic Group and the Carpenter Coustan. The latter is more conservative and that is what the OBs that supervised the midwives I was seeing used. If they used the former criteria I wouldn't even have been diagnosed. The American College of OB/GYN endorses both sets of criteria.

So off I went to the dietician. I followed the diet religiously and tested my blood glucose. After only 5 days there wasn't enough improvement in my fasting blood glucose (the after meals numbers were fine) so they sent me to the endocrinologists to begin insulin. I had done enough reading to know that this treatment was definitely in the gray area of effectiveness. Basically, people with mild GD don't see many benefits from aggressive treatment--mortality and morbidity are unchanged but they do have smaller babies, less shoulder dystocia, and MANY more inductions, c-sections and interventions performed on them. I cried over this for days, and argued with the midwives, who told me that if I didn't follow the treatment, dictated by "standard of care", which was dicatated by their OB supervisors, they might not be able to continue my care as I would be high risk.

I began taking the insulin, which wasn't as bad as I imagined it would be. The endocrinologists, however, were awful. They were rude and condescending, often refusing to explain things to me and treating me like a child. They only saw patients on Tuesdays and were often running an hour behind. You have to pay to park at the hospital clinic and I had 2 small children with me. After the first time I was kept waiting that long, I informed the nurses on each visit that I had another appointment in an hour and would have to leave if I hadn't been seen. Although my blood glucose numbers were almost always the same, they kept insisting they were "creeping up" and raising my insulin dose, which was very small anyway. Initially they saw me every two weeks, doing basically everything the midwives did: urine test, blood pressure, weight check, etc. except the actual belly exam. Then they said they wanted me to come once a week, which I objected to, since I was seeing the midwives that often by now as well and their examination of me was redundant. I had to call in my blood glucose numbers to a nurse once a week anyway, so I made up excuses why I was unable to make the appointment every other week. (By now I was really angry with them and being really passive aggressive). At 38 weeks they said, "Well, this is your last appointment. What is your plan for giving birth?" "Going into labor and having the baby." "You mean you don't have a plan to be induced? You must call your provider TODAY and discuss this with him." People with gestational diabetes often have their placenta begin to deteriorate sooner than normal, and induction is the rule. I had been going for nonstress tests twice a week at the midwives' office and they were all perfect, so I wasn't very concerned. I usually go to 41 weeks, and we'd agreed to go at least to my due date as long as the baby and I seemed fine.

I began a regimen of walking, sex and herbs which exhausted me and gave me nonstop Braxton Hicks contractions. By 39.5 weeks I was 4 cm dilated and very stretchy! My due date came and went, and I agreed to be induced at 40 weeks and 4 days, mostly because that was a Thursday and this hospital didn't do elective inductions on the weekend and there was only one midwife available on Fridays, who would be dividing her time between people in labor and office appointments.

I called at 7am Thursday, per instructions, and the hospital said they were too busy. The midwife called later and arranged for me to go in at 1pm. I had only slept for about 4 hours due to tremendous anxiety about the induction.

Got there and got in a room, with a total nazi by-the-book, threatening nurse. The midwife asked the charge nurse to switch nurses for me, but it turned out that the Nazi was off in a half hour. My initial finger prick blood glucose was 5 points over the cutoff for needing pitocin, although that wasn't taking into consideration that I'd just eaten before I left for the hospital, but Nazi nurse said it didn't matter. It turned out that when they got the lab blood glucose back which was drawn at the same time, it was 25 points lower! I knew the finger prick machines had a margin of error of +/-15, but not 25! So I was well within the correct range.

We'd agreed that if the baby was low enough to not risk cord prolapse, they would break my water instead of using Pitocin, and see if that got labor going. Unfortunately he was very high, and breech as well! This hospital will not do breech births, but will do external versions. I spent the hour waiting for the doctor to arrive with my rear propped up high and my head low, praying a lot, hoping he would turn over. When the doctor turned on the ultrasound, he had! I was so happy. They wrapped a large belt called a binder around me to try and prevent him from flipping back over. Interestingly, I hadn't felt a movement that seemed like a 180 degree turn. Unfortunately they'd already given me a shot to relax my uterine muscles for the version, which also makes you feel really jittery, so we had to wait for that to wear off before beginning pitocin.

They finally began Pitocin around 6pm. I had to be constantly monitored (due to my previous c-section 5 births previously!) and have IV fluids so I now was tethered to the machine and dragging a heavy IV pole around. The bathroom doorway had a raised threshold which made it hard to get the pole over and really irritated me. My favorite midwife was off at 10pm and I was sad when she left. I'd hoped she'd be there for the birth. By 11pm I was very tired, so I laid in bed for a while, dozing. There were constant contractions, but not really hard. By 2am, the midwife suggested we stop. I was on the maximum allowable dose of pitocin, and still no action. Both the midwife and I were astonished that the pit hadn't worked on me, considering I was 5cm and very stretchy by this time. She said I could go home and come back, or stay overnight at the hospital. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to sleep in the hospital but she said she'd give me a sleeping pill and tell the nurses not to bother me. This sounded preferable to driving all the way home (30 minutes) and being awakened early by very excited chilren who would be so disappointed that I was STILL pregnant. First the nurses scavenged up a frozen dinner for me. The sleeping medication worked well, and I slept till about 10am, got up, showered and had breakfast.

They resumed the pit around 12pm Friday. The afternoon was very boring. Around 5:30 pm, in the absence of any real contractions, the midwife suggested we have the doctor perform a procedure called "needling the membrane" where they put tiny holes in the amniotic sack with a needle and slowly push the baby down, the fluid leaking out the holes allowing this to happen. When the baby is low enough, they go ahead and break the sack. This must be peformed in the OR due to risk of cord prolapse. While waiting for the doctor to arrive, I noticed that the contractions picked up some. When she arrived and examined me, she felt that the baby was now low enough to break my water without needling the membranes. Once again, my prayers were answered and I was relieved.

Unfortunately, the amniotic fluid had a lot of meconium in it. They told me that meant that they wouldn't put the baby right on my chest, but would examine and suction him first, and that there would be a pediatrician and pediatric nurse in the room in addition to the midwife and labor and delivery nurse. At this point, we decided not to call our parents, who were at home with the kids and supposed to bring them to attend the birth. I was worried that if the baby had trouble breathing or other problems from the meconium it would be too intense or frightening.

The contractions had really picked up after the water was broken. I was still on pitocin, which the nurse kept turning down. The labor was very intense and I was tired and afraid. I requested an epidural, which the midwife, nurse and D. tried to talk me out of, saying it was going so fast that it would soon be over. I said that I wanted to be able to request it and if the anesthesiologist got there too late, so be it. Daryl began reading me the consent form, and once I heard all of the conditions, I changed my mind.

I walked/paced as much as I could tethered to the monitor until it was time to push. I pushed for 2 contractions and he came out easily, no tears. He was born at 6:45pm on Friday, June 20. I got a brief look at him and then the pediatrician examined him. The midwife had suctioned his mouth when only his head was out (she made me pause in pushing) and not gotten anything, and he was biting the tube! The pediatrician didn't get anything either, so he was fine. I didn't know whether he was a boy or girl, so I called over to D., who was grinning ear to ear when he told me it was a boy. He weighed 9lbs. 14 oz, my second smallest baby at that time. His blood sugar was fine, so no signs of gestational diabetes. Our parents and children arrived within an hour of his birth. After they went home, D. went to an Italian restaurant we both like and got a really nice dinner, pasta and bread and salad and even a split of wine which the owner gave him for free when told him what the occasion was. I was excited to eat all the carbs I wanted!

We named him Ian initially, which both of us liked but neither of us was crazy about, so we changed it the next day. I stayed 2 days in the hospital after his birth.

He is so happy and full of life, a real joy to be around. We treasure him.

Daddy's Boy

Daddy's Boy, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Gee, who does he look like?

Horse Cake

Horse Cake, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Another masterpiece!

Can I do it?

Can I do it?, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

He did it! Blew them both out all by himself.

Two!

Two!, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

K. turned 2 on Monday, June 20.

Magical Solstice

Today I have been musing on how lucky I am to live here in Michigan. It is truly home to me, and I still marvel at the beauty of the landscape. Gentle hills, lush greenness everywhere, giant graceful trees, rivers and lakes abound. I think my 9 years in the desert may have sharpened my appreciation for the beauty of my home state. I longed for it so when I was far away.

Tonight on our drive home from visiting my parents, it was very misty and foggy in places, with fireflies twinkling everywhere. It looked like a fairyland. Then, just as we approached home the moon came into view and it was the most stunning harvest moon I have ever seen. Enormous, a deep orange and as bright as the sun, just beginning to rise above the treetops, with the shimmering mist alive with dancing fireflies below it. Alas, I didn't have the camera.

It was 10pm, and not yet totally dark here on the longest day of the year. To the west the sky was still light, pinkish violet, and to the east the brialliant moon lit the landscape. A vision I will not soon forget.

No More Teachers, No More Books

Wednesday was the last day of school, and we had our annual Last Day of School Pool Party. It was a half day, so kids were invited over afterschool for 3 hours. Daryl was out of town, so I hired a lifeguard, a teen we know, and had a college girl/former babysitter as well as a mom that currently babysits for me all here helping me out. It wasn't too expensive, the lifeguard only charged $5/hour (but I gave her a little extra!) I bought hot dogs, buns and Kool-aid and asked kids to bring a snack to share. There were 22 kids including mine.

Each kid was originally allowed to invite 3 friends, which quickly escalated to 4. Unfortunately, two of my kids are part of a tight knit circle of 5 (including themselves) in their class. In both cases, although I told the kids to be discreet when handing out invitations, and they were, the other kids who were invited were talking about it in front of the one who was not. I felt SO bad, just about makes me cry at the thought of excluding a child and making them feel bad. With L's friend, this happened several days before the party, so I just sent an invitation with him the next day to school. His friend had been badgering him to ask his mom if he could invite one more person anyway. In the case of J's friend, she didn't find out until the day of the party, and she didn't say anything, but J. came home concerned, said her friend had a very long face about it. She called her and was able to reach her and invite her by phone, so we were both relieved.

I am so happy to have them home!

Becoming a Mother

We had always planned to have children, but were completing graduate school first. As my birthday in August of 1991 approached, I was suddenly overcome with the feeling that I should have a child. I kept teasing Daryl, saying, "I'm 27 and childless." Our first child was conceived about 2 weeks later.

We were living in Syracuse, NY, a town where we had no family and a few acquaintances. We'd moved there for Daryl to complete his postdoctoral fellowship at Syracuse University. Shortly after our arrival in Syracuse, I'd discovered I was pregnant. We were thrilled. We had always had the nagging fear that we would have trouble conceiving, yet had succeeded on our first try!

I was underemployed as a social worker for the Salvation Army, a job that I not only didn't enjoy, but paid about 40% less than my previous position as a Public Health Program Manager and grant writer for the City of Detroit. Although I had always assumed I would work most of my life, during my pregnancy I became certain that I both wanted and needed to stay home with my baby. The feeling was both overwhelming and certain. Unfortunately, we had a lot of student loan debt and needed my income, since Daryl's trainee position didn't pay well. We had enough savings for me to stay home for several months past my maternity leave, and the Salvation Army granted unpaid leaves of absence, but I was refused one on the grounds that I hadn't worked there long enough to deserve one. They had no written policy on this, but since I had been pregnant but not yet showing at my interview and very noticeably pregnant on my first day on the job 6 weeks later, I had been viewed with suspicion and subjected to some harassment. My supervisors were sure that I planned to quit working after I had the baby, and accused me of having a poor attitude.

Several weeks before the baby was due, Daryl was invited to Arizona State University to interview for a tenure track faculty position. He was chosen from a pool of 350 applicants and offered the job. His professional salary would be about what we'd been earning combined, so I wouldn't have to find another job.

It was a week past my due date. I went to bed at 11pm, and the baby began kicking vigorously and would not stop. After a while, I got up and did some stretches. I began having some contractions. Around midnight I got D. out of bed and we started timing them. When they got to be about 5 minutes apart, we went to the birth center. It was 5am. They said I was in labor, but not active enough yet, and sent me home with instructions to take a nap. I took a bath and laid down, but just could not sleep through the contractions. They weren't really painful, but definitely noticeable.

We went out and walked around town, had lunch, browsed a bookstore and went to my weekly prenatal appointment. I was seeing an obstetrician named Pierre Rizk, who was head of obstetrics at the hospital. He had a solo practice and was unfortunately at this time out the country, visiting his native Lebanon. A colleague was seeing his patients for him. He examined me, promclaimed me 4cm, and said, "You will have a baby tonight."

By dinner time the contractions were getting stronger, so I only ate a yogurt. Daryl went for a run, and when he got back we went back to the birth center. This time they admitted me. Around 10pm the doctor on call came in to check on me. He suggested that I take a sleeping pill and a small shot of morphine to dim the contractions a little and try to sleep, knowing I had been up all night the previous night and had not slept all day. He said if I could sleep for just a couple of hours it would be helpful, and maybe things would progress while I was sleeping. I was exhausted and this sounded like a good idea. I took the medication and laid down. D. laid down with me since there was a double bed in the room, and we turned out the lights. Immediately the contractions seemed to get stronger, and within a half hour my water broke--a huge gush. I buzzed for the nurse and she came and helped me change and changed the bed. I laid down again, but now the contractions were much too strong to even think about sleeping through. Unfortunately, the medication left me rather woozy, and their rule was that I could not walk unaccompanied until it wore off, which they estimated would take about 4 hours.

The nurses walked me up and down the hall endless times, got me in and out of the bathtub, had me squatting, etc. By 9am I was about 9cm and not at all stretchy. I had been at 9 for a while. The baby was high, at -5 station. The doctor on call was now the one I'd seen in the office the day before. He suggested that I go into the hospital, which adjoined the birth center, and have pitocin. I really wanted to deliver at the birth center and he said I could come back there for recovery. He said, "You should be fully dilated within an hour." Again, this sounded great. I was REALLY tired and wanted it to be over.

When they began the pitocin, I requested pain medication, which they put in my IV, because I was seated in a bed/chair attached to an IV and a monitor. At some point the nurses came and got Daryl, saying we had phone call at the desk. It was his parents, calling on behalf of themselves and my parents. We had called them when we left the house the second time, and after such a long time and no word, they were worried. He assured them that the baby and I were OK and hurried back to me. Around 2pm the doctor returned. He said that in view of the fact that nothing had changed, he was now recommending a c-section. He said that neither the baby or I was in distress, and that I was welcome to continue trying, but after this amount of time had passed with no progress, he felt it was unlikely that I would dilate the rest of the way. By this point I was totally out of it. My eyes kept rolling back into my head involuntarily. After 2 entirely sleepless nights, I was at the end of my rope. Although I had wanted Daryl to support and encourage me to have the baby naturally, at this point I wanted to quit and I hoped he wouldn't try to talk me out of it or be disappointed. The doctor left the room to let us discuss it and when I said I wanted to go ahead and have the c-section, he immediately agreed.

They turned off the pitocin and began preparing me for surgery. At this point the contractions had entirely stopped. I commented on this to the nurse and she said that happens sometimes when the uterine muscle just poops out from overwork. The other interesting thing was that there must not have been much amniotic fluid remaining, because instead of a round belly, you could now see the outline of the baby perfectly.

They gave me a spinal and did the surgery. It was very quick, and I only felt a pulling sensation. Daryl stood up and was looking over the curtain they had put up, but they asked him to sit back down. They were concerned that he might faint, not knowing he had performed many animal surgeries. When they pulled him out, they exclaimed at his size, and he screamed REALLY loud. It echoed in the operating room. He weighed 10lbs., 2oz. and had a ridge in his forehead where he had been stuck on my pubic bone. Since he wasn't pressing on my cervix I wasn't able to fully dilate, in fact it's surprising I got as far as I did.

They showed him to me, wrapped him up and gave him to Daryl to hold while they stitched me up. Then I went to the recovery room where we called our parents. At this point I was in and out of consciousness. I remember holding him, but can't believe they let me!

I never had any pain from the incision, nor did I have the bad gas pains some people get after abdominal surgery. The nurses commented on the fact that I wasn't using any of the self-administered morphine, but it just didn't hurt. I was hungry, but I was only allowed flat soda. I went to bed around 7pm, and I remember how very nice the nurse was to me. She helped me brush my teeth and rubbed my back with some lotion. She said I was supposed to get out of bed, but she was satisfied with seeing me sit up and dangle my legs over the side of the bed. The nursery was great about bringing my baby to me every time he cried, not giving him pacifiers or sugar water or formula per my request.

Unfortunately, I developed a spinal headache the next day. Now in addition to residents in several specialties coming in and asking me if I passed gas every few minutes, I had anesthesiology residents quizzing me on the qualities of my headache, when exactly it began, etc. Apparently this complication is fairly rare these days with improved techniques, around 2%. They started me on IV fluids and liquid caffeine drinks, both believed to speed spinal healing. When that didn't work, they prescribed Percoset.

I had requested a private room, but they didn't have any available, so they put me in a double with no roommate. On my third day there, I got a roommate. She was still pregnant and having complications. She was had a fetal monitor on, and the TV on (you had to pay to use it and I had not been watching prior to her arrival), and enjoyed talking on the phone. After several hours the noise was driving me crazy, and a private room had opened up, so they moved me. It was torture because they had to move my entire bed, and remove the clean bed that was in the room, which took some manuevering, during which time I was sitting in a chair. Any time I was not absolutely prone, the pain in my head was intolerable.

The food in the hospital was truly awful, and D. was bringing me carryout for most meals. He was working some, but spending a lot of time at the hospital.

By the morning of the fifth day in the hospital, I was despondent. I just wanted to go home. In addition, my ears had begun ringing. My doctor had returned from Lebanon and was not pleased to see the condition I was in. When I complained that my ears were ringing, he said, "That's because they are drugging you!" He explained that their reluctance to more aggressively treat me was in part due to the fact that they were reluctant to admit the mistake had been made. He also said that I could not go home because I could not take care of my baby in my current condition, which was true. He was angry, and marched off to talk with the anesthesiology staff. A short while later, the nurses informed me that they would be coming to get me soon to perform a blood patch, a procedure the nurses thought should have been done much sooner. It involves drawing some blood and injecting it into the spinal cord, where it will usually clot over the hole. Once spinal fluid is no longer leaking, the headache goes away. There is always the risk that they will create another hole, which is why they try other less invasive techniques first.

The procedure was quick and painless. I was soon back in my room and my head still hurt. I was worried because they promised instant results. Daryl brought some lunch and I was able to angle myself up a little bit to eat, something I'd previously been unable to do, and believe me it's hard to eat every meal laying down. By the time we were done eating, I could feel that the pain was subsiding, was almost gone, yet there was another feeling, which I would describe as the memory of the pain. It was as though I could still feel the pain but it no longer hurt. Soon I was able to get out of bed and go to the nursery and get my baby. The nurses cheered when they saw me in the hall. Later that afternoon we all went home.

Daryl, who had been unsure about my decision to stay home with our baby, felt much differently once he'd arrived. He told me he felt that no one else was good enough to care for him.

Once home, we had to learn to be parents. The nurses had done all of the baby care at the hospital, which used cloth diapers. It took both of us and many wipes to successfully change the first diaper at home. I was also struggling with breastfeeding. It took 8-10 tries to get him latched on at each feeding, amidst a lot of crying from both of us. My parents arrived after we'd been home for 2 days, and it was wonderful. They were helpful and good company. Daryl was now back at work full time. My parents stayed a week, and I began to cry the night before they left. I cried all day the next day after they left and kept crying into the evening. I went to bed early, but was unable to sleep. I felt so alone. I heard Daryl talking to my parents on the phone when they called to say they'd arrived home safely, and he told them he was concerned about me, that I wasn't coping very well.

The next day 2 things happened that helped a lot. My mother suggested I call my doctor about how blue I was feeling, and I did. They weren't very helpful, but they did give me the number for the lactation consultant at the hospital. I made an appointment with her and she was wonderful. Of course I was able to latch him on easily in her office, so she coudn't see the problem, but she was very sympathetic and encouraging. I told her how a perfect pregnancy had turned into a nightmare delivery and recovery. She reinforced that I was doing a good job taking care of my baby and breastfeeding him. More than breastfeeding help, she gave me confidence that I badly needed. I also talked to my mother-in-law, who suggested that we drive home for the family reunion that weekend, which we weren't planning to attend since it was a 9 hour drive. When Daryl came home, I told him what she'd said, and he went out and rented a car for us to drive home in the next day. We had a tiny hatchback and he thought I'd want to ride in back with the baby so I'd be more comfortable in a bigger car.

By the time we got to Michigan, my breastfeeding difficulties had begun to diminish, and it was a lot of fun to show off a new baby and have everyone make a fuss over me. Daryl went home after the reunion, but I stayed a week and my in-laws drove me home.

I had a meeting with my boss near the end of my maternity leave. To my surprise, she offered to let me have the unpaid leave, since the agency was undergoing some financial struggles at that time and wanted to save some money. To her surprise, I quit!

Upon my return to Syracuse, it was time to get ready to move to Arizona. Our lives went through so many changes in such a short time. Becoming a mother was the most glorious of those changes.

My First Teenager

My First Teenager, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Our eldest turned 13 on June 5. The birthday hat is a family tradition.

So far having a teen is smooth sailing. He is our easiest child at the moment; helpful and cooperative, enjoys our company. He is also highly intelligent, athletic, good looking, witty and a talented trombone player. If he wasn't mine, I'd find that level of perfection annoying!

Last summer he began to shoot up and physically mature. He is currently 5'9", wears size 11 shoes, and has a deep voice.

Rainbow

Rainbow, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Caught this beautiful rainbow on camera.

Finding a Balance

I have 3 children who participate in club soccer. Our experience is that the level of participation required is really more than we desire, yet there are no alternatives in our community. We struggle to find a balance, being committed players/parents while not letting soccer totally rule our lives.

For instance, when you enroll in soccer, you are required to sign a document that states that you understand that they play both fall and spring seasons and you are committing to play both. There are 2 practices and at least one game per week. Once your child is on the team, you are informed that they also play several sessions of winter indoor soccer so they can "stay in shape and keep up with their skills." Often a coach will suggest that the team play in a tournament, which take place over a holiday weekend: Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day. They insist that "the kids will have a great time." Tournaments involve multiple games over the 3 day weekend. Will they have a better time than they would have socializing with friends and family, attending parades and bbqs, going on family outings, and relaxing?

The year round schedules make it almost impossible to play more than one sport. It also makes it impossible for my husband to coach. He could commit to a 2-3 month season, but his work schedule would not allow him to leave early 2 days a week year round, and his travel schedule would mean missing many games. He does often volunteer to substitute coach when one of our kids' coaches can't be there.

As if playing year round weren't enough, kids are encouraged to attend sports camps in the summer, to work on their skills!

Living in a town too small to sport an entire league, out teams participate in regional leagues. This means that away games will take place in towns a 30-45 minute drive away. Players are supposed to be there 30 minutes before the start of the game. If a family has more than one child playing, soccer games can really dominate a weekend with the total amount of time involved.

Soccer is expensive to play, yet all the teams hire trainers to work with the kids, which almost doubles the cost of the season.

Our daughter played on a team for several years where the coach, who lived out in the country and had built a soccer field on his property, held practices at his home, which was about a 25 minute drive from our home. His reason for doing this, rather than practicing at the centrally located schools where the rest of the teams practice, was because "all the comings and goings at the school are too distracting for the girls." They were 8-9 years old at the time and this struck me as silly.

Her current team has been "noticed" by the league director who wants them to do more intensive training this winter because they "have potential" and "they could really go places." Go where, exactly? They may play more competitive teams, but they are certainly not pros in the making, and will the extra effort to play in a more competitive league be worth it, if they are having fun now as they are?

I realize that we have a choice whether or not to participate in club soccer, however, it is not that simple. Many of the other sports; hockey, baseball, swimming, football; are conducted the same way. It can be difficult to play for the school if you don't have any experience. Some school districts in our area are going so far as to not allow kids with no experience to try out.

I personally believe that this level of intensity reflects parental agendas rather than children's desires. What happened to sports that were played during only one season, with time off for down time or other sports? What happened to playing for fun, which didn't require a trainer? Back when I was a kid, most organized sports didn't even begin until middle school, and then you played on the school team. Now private sport leagues begin as young as kindergarten. It seems our culture has embraced Extreme Youth Sports to go along with Extreme Everything Else.

The result of all this for my family is that we sometimes feel burned out by the relentless demands of soccer. My children also take music lessons and attend religious education. Juggling all these activities makes us sometimes late. On a rare occasion, if a child seems particularly overwhelmed, we have allowed him or her miss a game or a practice. As a family, we also set priorities, and important family celebrations take priority over soccer games. Sometimes events are planned well before the soccer schedule is announced, but we do our best to notify the coach of conflicts as soon as we are aware of them. We have voted against tournament partcipation and inwardly cheered when a child's team has been eliminated early in a tournament. The zealous coaches and team managers have sometimes thought less of us or questioned our level of commitment for these reasons, but we believe part of our job as parents is to teach our children to find a balance in life. While we feel sports are very important, given the choice, we would participate at a less intense level.

Advantages and Disadvantages

Since 90 degrees and humid is my favorite kind of weather, and I do NOT have air conditioning, I decided to list what I love about it.

Advantages

Too hot to cook.
Too hot to eat.
White noise created by fans drowns out whining of hot children.
Swimmers ear acquired by constant swimming to cool off drowns out any noises that rise above the sound of the fans.
Swimmers ear allows me to pretend to not hear anything I don't wish to respond to.
Makes the 2 hours of driving around each afternoon in my air conditioned van seem much more pleasurable than normal.
Our summer fruit fly breeding program is off to a good start.


Disadvantages

Constant swimming caused me to get swimmer's ear.
Dh suggested "just cover your ears" while swimming. ?!?!
Swimming creates a lot of wet, soon to be skanky towels.
Towels do not dry naturally even when hung up.
Children haven't heard of hanging up towels.
Wet towels left on the floor invariably have at least one large insect under them when I pick them up.
Swimming requires lots of clothes and diaper changing.
The reduction in cooking is offset by an increase in laundry.
Children think it's too hot to do chores.
I feel generally witchy when I get really hot.

An annoying aside: my dishwasher is currently broken.

Nightime Adventures

No, they are not those kind of adventures! LOL

The past several nights I have slept very deeply, in part due to plugged ears, so that waking feels like coming up from deep underwater. Last night I was surprised at 1:30am to be awakened by my baby nuzzling at my breast, and opened my eyes to find both her and my husband staring curiously at me. She had been sleeping in her crib, which is only about 10 feet away, yet I hadn't heard her crying, and didn't even wake up when Daryl got her and brought her into bed to nurse.

At 4:15am she awoke again to nurse, and as I was laying there drowsily I saw what looked to my sleepy brain like a sock go flying by, as though someone had thrown it across the room. I observed that Daryl was sleeping deeply, not throwing anything, and determined that it must have been my eyelashes as a I blinked. A moment later I saw the shadow of a bird on the wall. Since it was dark out (we have a nightlight on so I can see the baby in the night) I knew that wasn't possible. A second later I saw the winged creature go by. I nudged Daryl. "There's a bat in here!"

"Is the door shut?" he asked groggily. On its next lap it swooped low over our bed and he saw it. He rocketed out of bed and out the door, yelling, "I hate bats!" leaving his wife and baby behind. I pulled the sheet over my head, but A., who had awakened when we started talking, pulled it back off. Sighing, I scooped her up and scurried out of the bedroom. I sat and nursed her while Daryl went back into the bedroom to see if was still there. He had opened the front door in the foyer right next to our bedroom door on his way by, and was hoping it had flown out. It wasn't in our room so he checked around upstairs, in case it had gone up the stairway in the foyer instead of out the door.

Determining it was no longer in the house, he sat down to work, since it was now about 30 minutes before his alarm would go off anyway. I had no intention of getting up at 5am, but A. thought it was playtime. I deposited her on the floor by Daryl with some toys and went back to bed. Just as I was drifting off, I heard her cry. He gave her some kitchen utensils, since baby toys get boring, and I began to drift off again, only to be once again jarred awake by her cry. Daryl felt she was now sleepy, and after a few minutes of tossing and turning she settled down and nursed back to sleep.

This marks the 5th bat we've had inside the house since moving here 4 years ago, not counting 2 that were in the vacant house before we moved in, surprising friends of ours who spent the night in the house. I know how the bat of last night got in. I asked J. to open windows as the evening began to cool off, and she mistakenly opened the one with no screen (it was removed by me when locked out of the house a month ago).

Memorial weekend

We had a lovely weekend. D. took Friday off. In the morning a photographer came to our house to take A's 6 month picture, and I had arranged with her to do some of all the kids together, too. Since he was here, she did the entire family. The only bummer was that she had suggested something simple to wear, so I got the kids plain white t-shirts, but since I didn't know that D. would be here and we'd all be in the photos, he and I didn't have plain white shirts, so we each wore a shirt with a design on the front inside out. The photographer didn't seem to think it would be very noticeable. I guess we'll see. The photo shoot was outdoors under our favorite majestic 200 year old oak.

Later that evening, we went out to dinner downtown. Many of the restaurants had outdoor seating, and some people stared at us like we were a parade as we went by. We ate at the Parthenon, a casual Greek restaurant. The older kids wanted Gyros and since that is one of my favorites, and they serve the ubiquitous chicken strips favored by the under 10 set, we were all happy.

After dinner we walked to campus and all around town. I took L. into a store I've walked by many times and never gone in that has action figures of a style I've never seen in the window. Inside it was even better; there was tons of neat action figures that you won't find at Toys R Us or other traditional stores. Some were expensive collectables, but many were affordable. I had told him (and the 3 sisters that accompanied us) that we were only looking, NO asking for anything. He was so sweet, and never even hinted at anything, that I did buy him a set. Actually it was a loan--he paid me back at home. Unfortunately his younger sister broke the head off the really cool dragon within 2 days. But I will go back there--his birthday isn't until November but I'm dying to get him some more cool stuff. He is my only child that really likes that type of thing--he has always favored plastic "guys" of some sort to act out stories with--and since he is already 9, he won't like it forever. :-(

At the end of our walk, we got frozen custard, which I would walk MILES for, and went home. Everyone was so well-behaved that it was as much fun as a date with just D.!

Saturday afternoon I took the kids to the metropark and we walked/biked around the 3 mile loop. When we got there my MIL had arrived for a visit. We had dinner and a nice visit.

Later that evening things took a turn for the worse when L. told us his head itched. He had contracted lice a few weeks ago, and I combed them out once, finding 20 or so nits but no live lice, and then spot checked his head every day for about 10 days and found nothing. Apparently we were much too complacent. This was our first experience with head lice. When I checked his head on Saturday night, I immediately saw nits. Since the initial outbreak I'd ordered and received a Licemeister comb from the
National Pediculosis Association, a 25 year old nonprofit organization that are lice experts. One thing I learned is that they do NOT recommend using the shampoo type treatments. Apparently soaking your scalp in pesticides can be somewhat dangerous, and the most important element of treatment is the combing out, whether or not you use the shampoos, because they kill live lice but not all nits,so they must be manually removed. We combed L. out with the new comb, which worked MUCH better than what we'd been able to get at the local drugstore. Both that evening and again the next morning we found LOTS of nits and live lice. EWWW! We also combed everyone else out twice on different days and so far it appears that no one else has them. We have combed, not spot checked, L. twice a day. Now that several days have passed without finding anything, we are only doing it once a day but will continue doing it daily for 2 weeks.

Sunday morning I felt sort of depressed and overwhelmed by the lice discovery, and by the time we'd combed L. out thoroughly and everyone else, we'd missed mass. We'd been invited to an evening pool party, but the weather was cool and rainy, so we decided to stay home and watch movies.

Monday we had friends over for a pool party at our house. The pool was full, ice cold (we had the heater on but since we'd just filled it with water from the well it only got the temperature up to about 69), clear and a bluish-green color. The kids swam briefly and then played badminton and otherwise amused themselves. The food was scrumptious. I grilled salmon, since some of our guests don't eat meat, and hot dogs and Italian sausage. I made Middle Eastern rice pilaf, which is a combination of brown, white and wild rice cooked in chicken broth, slivered almonds toasted in butter, currants plumped in hot water, all combined and mixed with fresh chopped mint. Our guests brought a lovely green salad, upside down pineapple cake, chocolate chip bars and fruit salad. We sat outdoors and stuffed ourselves--YUMMM!

Alphabet Meme

Borrowing from
Kathy, here is my alphabet meme:



A is for August...my birth month and that of my daughter.
B is for Boys...I have 3.
C is for Children...I've been blessed with 7.
D is for Daryl...my best friend.
E is for Easygoing...an attribute of mine.
F is for Forty...my age.
G is for Girls...I have 4.
H is for Hope...it springs eternal.
I is for internet...I love it.
J is for Job...mother, wife, homemaker, teacher, chauffer, counselor, nurse, chef.
K is for my surname, same as my husband's, that I proudly took on our wedding day.
L is for La Leche League...I'm proud to be a Leader.
M is for Mimi...my toddlers' nickname for nursing.
N is for Never say never...my reply when people ask me if I'm "done" having babies.
O is for Overeducated....B.A. in Psychology, M.S.W. (Master's of Social Work), M.P.H. (Master's of Public Health)
P is for pink...my favorite color and Paula...me!
Q is for Quiet...something that I am not!
R is for religion...Catholic..
S is for Sprinter...my 10 passenger Dodge.
T is for Toddler...I've always got one, and I've learned to love them.
U is for University of Michigan...the noble institution where I met my hubby and got my education.
V is for Versatile...something I have to be.
W is for woman...so glad that I am one.
X is for excellent cook that I am (and modest too!) and excellent food that I make...pasta, caesar salad, blueberry pie, orange bread, blueberry waffles, lemonade.
Y is for your turn...tell us about you!
Z is for Zero...the number of times that I've wished I'm made different life choices.

Another View

I know I've posted pictures of the front of the house before, but here are some of the backside.

Ringing the Bell

We have a cupola with a bell, and here is young D. ringing it.

Will this pool be ready to swim in by Memorial Day?

IMG_0407, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

That is the million dollar question. My pool boy (aka Daryl) assures me it will be. If it doesn't warm up significantly, I won't really care.

This is how it looked last weekend.

At the end of last summer, he drained more water than normal. When he opened it last weekend, the water level was very low, leading him to conclude that it was leaking. He spent some time calculating the evaporation rate in Michigan and comparing that with the number of inches of winter precipitation we had, and still concluded that it was leaking. After a conversation with a professional pool man, who told him what to do, he attempted to find the leak. When he couldn't find it, ever the optimist, he concluded that there really isn't one. Hmmm....

Next he proceeded to clean the leaves he left in there last fall and add some chemicals and some water. It is currently clear, but needs a lot of water and he says he is not ready to add it yet. Not sure what he is waiting for, since it will take more than a day to fill.

Fresh and Clean!

IMG_0405, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

K. emerges from the bath, raring to go (anywhere but to bed!)

She likes it!

IMG_0398, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Or she seems to. She readily opens her mouth, and then happily spits half of each spoonful out. What was on the menu? Organic baby rice cereal mixed with breastmilk.

First Meal

IMG_0395, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

This is always a bittersweet moment for me. I love the months when my baby has had nothing that didn't come from me--purely and entirely grown by her mother. I love the milky smell, and even the tangy vinegary smell of the baby poops of an exclusively breastfed baby. Now that era is coming to an end, and this is the first of many steps toward independence.

Enough Already!

IMG_0409, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

But that's just the thing--we can't get enough of you! The months have flown by--too fast to believe it.

Here's Looking at You!

IMG_0408, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

6 Months!

IMG_0411, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Ceramic gifts

Ceramic gifts, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The schools always have the kids make ceramic items as gifts, for Mother's Day and Christmas. This was the Mother's Day 2005 crop. I have quite a collection on the top of the piano!

Creative cards

Creative cards, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Clever cards

Clever cards, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

I received the nicest cards from my kids this year. They were sweet and sentimental, beautiful, clever and creative.

Happy Anniversary!

18 years today! Our most romantic anniversary yet, being celebrated in the way only parents can, by taking a child to the ER. Once again, I got a phone call while on my way home from picking up a child, informing me of a problem. "Tessa has a HUGE splinter!" Her older brother then kindly carried her upstairs to watch TV while they awaited my arrival. The splinter was about 1.5 inches long and several millimeters wide. It was totally visible, under the skin several layers, but not too deep. I made 3 attempts with my flat tweezers, but it would not budge, although I had a good grip on the end of it. I called Daryl, and he came home, bringing a pair of forceps from the lab. Still, it wouldn't budge. He considered slitting the skin with his pocket knife (he harbors fantasies of being the OTHER kind of doctor--LOL) but decided he should leave that to the professionals.

J. just came down and informed me that she can't sleep because she doesn't feel good--her stomach hurts. The fun just never ends!

Sincerely, I am very glad to be travelling this road with this man, but I do wish the road had been a little smoother today.

Mother's Day 2005

Woke early after not sleeping well--stiff and sore joints. Kids made me breakfast: sausages and a bagel. Daryl went to see his mom and the kids folded ALL the laundry that I washed last week during the lice outbreak. I showered, had time to file my fingernails AND trim my toenails! Woohoo!

We went to mass, and Daryl met us there. K. was behaving very badly so Daryl took him home and put him in bed for a nap. When we returned, he went and picked up sandwich makings from Zingerman's. We had a most delicious lunch. I took a post lunch siesta.

Then everyone hung out and relaxed--I painted my toenails and read some of this month's book club selection, "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss. This book is about punctuation, and believe it or not, is quite amusing.

The kids presented me with a variety of homemade gifts and potted flowers. I cleverly asked that they immediately dig holes and plant the flowers. I also received a bouquet of roses from the kids: 4 red for 4 girls and 3 white for 3 boys. Daryl had also brought me a bouquet.

After our large, late lunch, we weren't too hungry for dinner, so we visited Screams Ice Cream in Hell, Michigan for ice cream cones.

The rest of the evening was spent doing the usual Sunday night activities: baths, procrastinated homework, kitchen cleanup. All in all it was a very nice day.

Off to a Rough Start

I woke on Monday feeling energetic, and finished paying those bills from last week, got kids dressed and fed and off to yoga we went. Lucille, a limber 83 year old woman, has a yoga studio in her home, which is located in a beautiful wooded area. The class is for pregnant women and moms and tots. We had a great class, and when we returned home, I made myself a nice salad for lunch. K. wasn't hungry but T. ate lunch. Then I changed K., who had a complete blowout requiring a clothes change. Loose stools I attributed to something he ate. A few minutes later he had another one. Hmmm...Put him down for a nap, began homeschooling T., and then he woke crying about 45 minutes later, covered in vomit head to toe. While bathing him, A. started to scream, but I couldn't get her because I was busy with his bath. Luckily, just as I got him out, J. walked in the door. She was able to hold A. for the next few minutes while I dressed K. , stripped his bed, and threw the bedding in the wash. He continued to have diarrhea the rest of the afternoon and evening, necessitating many clothes changes.

So the bills never got put in the mail, and the only laundry washed was the poopy, vomity stuff. Luckily we had leftover sandwich makings from yesterday for dinner.

I called Lucille to let her know that she and the other small children who were sharing our snacks were all exposed to this violent stomach bug.

My catching up from last week was totally derailed, and I am seriously praying that I don't sick, too.

Is it over yet?

The week, I mean.

Monday featured a field trip to Independence Lake, a recreation area, with I's 2nd grade class. The kids see and hear a presentation about amphibians which includes slides, recordings of frog and toad calls, and live frogs and toads to hold. From there you go out to the swamp, also known as a vernal pool, scoop up muck from the bottom using a large net, and dig through it for living things like snails, crawfish, bugs, and eggs. The weather was absolutely delightful, featuring both rain and snow. This activity is followed by a picnic, usually outdoors, but we ate indoors due to the inclement weather. On the way home it hailed large chunks of ice, astonishingly hard, leaving a one inch coating on the ground.

Tuesday J. went to the orthodontist, a place that is always a little nerve wracking to take the little ones to, since it is located in a beautifully restored historic mansion. The waiting area is luxurious and quiet. Thankfully, they are always on time, so the wait was very short. I was requested to come into the exam room, which is unusual. After 2 years of spacers, braces and retainers she is hardware free! She doesn't need to wear the retainer any more.

Wednesday morning was a La Leche League meeting which I was leading. As a Leader I should get there early to help set up and be prepared, but I skated in just as the meeting was supposed to begin. It was a good meeting. The official title was "The Advantages of Breastfeeding" but I decided to focus on the emotional aspects rather than just the health, convenience, and economic advantages that are usually discussed. I asked moms what their baby would say the biggest advantage is, and I asked them how breastfeeding had changed them as a person. A nice discussion ensued.

That evening we discovered nits in L's hair. We knew he'd been exposed to head lice, and had checked several days prior and found nothing, so were relatively unconcerned. We've never had lice before, and I'd always dreaded it. Luckily he was the only one with any, and he has short, sparse hair. I wasn't sure at first that they were nits, although they did cling to the hair shaft like glue as described, but we examined one under the kids' microscope, and compared it to photos we found on this website: www.headlice.org. I kept him home the next morning and combed them all out. He had around 20 or so. He stayed home the rest of the day and after finding his head clean the next morning I sent him to school. I spent the rest of the day vacuuming furniture and laundering bedding. The psychological scalp itching has been the worst part for me.

Thursday night I. had a 2rd grade concert, featuring singing. It was nice, but made the evening challenging. I started out behind due to Mt. Washagain in the laundry room, and was trying to pay the bills. I lost track of time while trying to get Quicken to do a year end file saving and creating a new one, which not only didn't work, but seemed to crash the program making my file unrecoverable. ARGHHH! False alarm, I was able to restore the checkbook file.

I took I. to her piano lesson, but was now 15 minutes late to pick up J., inconveniencing her soccer coach, who waited until I arrived, despite my phone call assuring him that I was almost there and he didn't need to wait, since she was outdoors at the highschool where there are crowds of people attending many other events, making it a safe place to wait. D's practice ended at the same time as J's so I was even later to get him, but his coach didn't feel compelled to wait. I raced home, getting a phone call just as I approached the house informing me that "Keegan had a blowout." He was soaked, and when I changed him I discovered his apparatus was pointed up (not how I'd left it so he must have been exploring). I raced out the door and took J. to piano and picked up I. Then I went back to get J. 20 minutes later, at 6pm. In between I threw together leftovers, cheese crisps, sandwiches, for the kids to eat. Then off to the concert at 6:45pm. When we returned, as I walked in the door I smelled the unmistakable odor of poop. I was quickly informed that K. had ANOTHER blowout, #2 this time. D. had swabbed him off with wet hand towels (has he never heard of a diaper wipe, or "butt wipe" as they are known in our house?) K. had refused to get in the bath because D. had unknowingly tried to lure him in with a large swimming turtle that K. is terrified of in the bath. He loves it when he is outside the bath and it is in. I cleaned up the heap of poopy clothes and towels, tracked down K. and put him in the bath. Daryl went upstairs with antibacterial wipes and wiped off the remote and several other items that K. had managed to smear.

Friday dawned with me feeling a little depressed and overwhelmed. The kitchen was a wreck, the bills still weren't paid, Mt. Washagain hadn't diminished in size, and we were completely out of fruit, milk and several other staples, like diapers in A's size. I attempted to whine to my depressed sister, but she was easily able to one-up me in a game of "who is having the worst day." I was able to wrap one of K's big diapers around A. and after successfully whining to a friend on the phone, off we went. We stopped at the Golden Arches for sustenance and then visited Meijer, a store that is similar to a Super W--a grocery store combined with a low cost array of "stuff" ranging from lawn chairs and bbqs to clothing to toys. I detest this store because of its poor service and unpleasant atmosphere, but it defines one stop shopping, not to mention low cost. This store has an unusual bagging arrangement. As the cashier fills bags she loads them onto a small bag carousel and keeps turning it. It is the customer's job to take the bags off the carousel and put them in the cart. However, if you have a large order, which I invariably do, since I avoid this store if it all possible, so when I go I need EVERYTHING, you are still unloading your cart when the carousel is full, since they don't put very many items in their flimsy plastic sacks. The cashier then proceeds to stand there and WATCH while you stop unloading your cart to remove the bags and put them in another cart, if you are so lucky to have one. A typical response is, *Heavy sigh* "I suppose you're going to need a second cart?" as they phone for someone to bring a cart over to their register. On Friday I had to snag my own extra cart from an employee passing by. The cashier stood there staring off into space, completely ignoring me and the 3 small children I had just finished dragging through the store for 90 minutes, as I loaded the bags into the cart and then resumed my unloading of the $300 of groceries onto the belt. At one point I attempted to ask her a question, but after 3 attempts all I got was "Are you talking to me?" She was apparently trying to wait on me while pretending that I was not actually there. I then informed her that I would need assistance pushing the 2nd cart out of the store. This was greeted by another sigh, and she grudgingly phoned for help.

(Only once while shopping at this store have I had a cashier bother to put a sack into my cart. When I commented on her behavior she told me that it is store policy that they still must help any customer that needs it, especially those with small children. I was astonished and told her of my past experiences. She said that many cashiers are unaware of the store policy on this issue.)

One of my purchases at Meijer on this day was a large bottle of premixed margaritas, and I was planning to have a little "happy" hour. On my way up the hill from the car to the house, it slipped from my hand, dousing my feet and the path with broken glass and mighty tasty smelling margaritas.

I took the kids to Dairy Queen (they ask me to take them EVERY DAY! As if.. LOL) On our way home after ruining our dinner, Daryl called. He was just departing the retirment party of his former advisor and colleague. The official party was over but people were heading to a local restaurant/pub with a beautiful patio and backyare, one of our former hangouts and a place I love but rarely go these days. He said he would meet us at the 7pm piano recital. I was counting on his help with dinner, or I would have once again served "whatever" had I known he wouldn't be there. I rushed through the barbequing of hamburgers, cleaning up of faces and out the door again. Daryl was late, and K. felt he needed to speak to me in his loudest voice, so after a few minutes, I had L. take him outside, where, thankfully, there was a playground. Daryl arrived just in time to change the recently filled diaper of K. :) He missed the girls' performances but after the recital during the refreshments they got back on stage and played for him.

All of Us

All of Us, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Clean up good, don't we?

T. (5), I. (7), and L. (9) in front row.

J. (11), Grandma (D's mother), D. holding A. (5 months), Paula holding K. (22 months), D. (12).

First Communion

First Communion, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

I. received the sacrament of Holy Eucharist for the first time on April 30.

I Want To Be the Baby

I Want To Be the Baby, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Yes, he does have this issue!

Troublemaker Boy

Troublemaker Boy, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

As he is affectionately known to us.

A Girl's Best Friend

A Girl's Best Friend, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

A. is supported by Spot. She can sit up on her own for a short time, then over she goes!

Five!

Five!, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Birthday Girl

Birthday Girl, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Preparing to blow out the candles on her rainbow cake. Those are m&ms forming the stripes of the rainbow.

You Can Bet On It

Three people have told me recently that they are betting we'll have another child. They seem so sure. "If I had to put money on it..." and "my money's on you, Paula" (meaning they think I'll prevail should D. initially disagree). Do I think they're right? Only time will tell. Will I do my best to convince D. and make it happen? You can bet on it!

Easter Blessing

5 years ago yesterday my sweet T. was born. It was Saturday, the day before Easter. Friday evening, as I stood in line at the video store, I noticed a pretty strong contraction. Since I was already a week past my "due date" and I'd had several nights of fruitless contractions, so I didn't get too excited. I came home, ate dinner, and watched "Message in a Bottle", the movie I'd rented. All evening long I continued to have one strong contraction every 30 minutes or so. They were even more noticeable when lying down on the couch during the movie. It ended around 11:30pm and I went to bed. A short time later I heard a loud unidentifed noise, so woke D. up to investigate. He didn't find anything and unfortunately was unable to fall back to sleep. Meanwhile, the contractions become stronger and about 10 minutes apart. D. got up and went into the office to do some work while he had insomnia, and I got up and paced around the bedroom. After a while I went out and told him "this is it." I paced in the family room while watching PBS documentaries till around 3am, when I called my midwife, Lylaine Gavette (CNM). I told her "I think it's time," and she said "You think it is?" "I know it is."

We called my friend Tammy to come and be with the kids and headed off to the Bethany Birth Center. We almost forgot the infant carseat, but luckily I saw it sitting in the driveway where D. had set it when he carried it out of the house. It was about a 30 minute drive away, but much to our surprise, the freeway we needed to take was closed during the night for construction. (It was a very heavily traveled area so they only worked on it at night to keep daytime traffic moving.) I began to panic, but luckily D. knew how to get there via surface roads.

When we got there, Lylaine examined me and said I was 5cm dilated and very stretchy. She asked if I wanted her to break my water, and I said yes. She told us to call our family if they were coming because she thought it would go very fast once my water was broken. We called Tammy and told her to bring the kids. They arrived around 5am. J. came into the room to say hi and stayed. She was 6 at the time, but did not seem bothered as things got more intense. D. kept asking her if she wanted to leave but she said no. The birth center had a family room area where Tammy and the rest of the kids were waiting.

It was an unusual labor because the contractions alternated, one hard one followed by one less intense, continuing that way through transition. In addition, she wasn't coming down completely straight and pressing directly on my cervix, but was a little off to the side. This may have been the cause of the alternating strength contractions. Whenever I laid down, every contraction was strong. I preferred pacing/standing. Lylaine said this was OK, that it would just take longer, which it did. Finally I was at 8.5-9cm and she said, "I think you need to have about 8-10 good strong contractions and you'll be ready to push." I said, "Aren't these strong?" and she replied, "I mean in a row." In great irritation, I laid down on the bed. After 4-5 very hard contractions in a row I began involuntarily pushing.

We called in Tammy and the kids. I had been on my side, but now got on my back, semi-upright. I., who was 2 year and 9 months at the time, was fascinated, and leaned on the foot of the bed watching closely. Tammy had to move her over so Lylaine had a spot! Lylaine told D., "Come her eand catch your baby." I pushed out the head halfway, the contraction ended, and during the next one I pushed it the rest of the way out. Then I prepared to rest a moment while waiting for another contraction. Everyone began urging me to push the baby out the rest of the way. "What do you mean?" I asked in annoyance. "I'm not even having a contraction!" At this point Lylaine looked me in the eye and said very seriously, "Paula, I need you to push the baby out right now." I took a deep breath and began pushing, with everyone cheering me on. Lylaine eased her shoulders out as I pushed and out the rest of her slid. She put her on my chest and began rubbing her vigorously with a towel. "Wait! What is it?" I asked. She paused and removed the towel. I saw that it was a girl and that she was rather blue. She seemed to be breathing but not very vigorously and she hadn't cried. Meanwhile, the nurse had brought over the oxygen and had the tube arranged to blow in her face. After a moment or two she gave a little cough, then cried and began breathing strongly.

Apparently the cord had been around her neck, although not really tightly, and Lylaine had been able to loosen it once her head emerged, but it was being compressed between her body and the birth canal so she wasn't getting any oxygen. The others could see this, and that her head was rather blue, but I couldn't see her head from my angle. That was why D. stepped out of the way and didn't catch her after all. Her intial Apgar was only 6. The nurse who was there told me that in a hospital birth (she worked in a hospital also) it would have been handled much differently. She said they would have screamed at me to push, and pushed on my belly or pulled on her if necessary, and whisked her away from me right away. I asked Lylaine how serious of a situation it had been, and she said, "Well, we like to have to resuscitate as little as possible." Her heartbeat had been monitored frequently during labor, just as in my hospital births, and there had never been any sign of distress (or they would have immediately transferred me to the hospital), so it must have only become a problem at the very end. Her face was very bruised from pressing on my pelvic bone and remained blue for 24 hours or so. She also had darker bruises around her eyes that lasted several weeks. I was very sore on the inside, bruised also, even though I had no tears or stitches. She arrived at 7:57 am, weighing 10 lbs. 7 oz., and I went home about 2 hours later (the minimum stay required).

Tammy had taken the kids home earlier, and after D. retrieved them we all napped. The next day we had Easter dinner with our friends down the street.

She is my sweetest child, naturally polite and grateful. She was the baby for the longest and during that time I referred to her as "my best friend" because she went everywhere with me and was SO easy, truly a delight, even as a toddler. I'm so glad I have her!

Sweetness Personified

IMG_0232, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Five months later, I continue to feel so blessed to have you, graced by your presence in our lives.

Wide Eyed Wonder

IMG_0234, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Pretty in pink

IMG_0238, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

T Holding A

IMG_0244, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Big sister T is 5 today and lil' sis is 5 months.

5 Years and 5 months

IMG_0246, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Vacation Recap

DAY 1

We left home early enough to eat at a fast food Mexican restaurant (Mexican Meal #1) on the way, to prepare ourselves for the delicious Mexican food that would soon be available to us.

We arrived in Arizona around 5:30pm--the flight had been delayed 30 minutes. By the time we picked up our rental bus (12 passenger van) and got to the hotel (Pointe at Squaw Peak) it was 7pm. I checked in while D. and the kids wandered the resort, partly to stretch their legs, partly so the staff wouldn't be aware that there were really 9 of us instead of the 6 I told them and partly so we could carry our own bags and avoid the massive tip we'd have to leave. We had 13 items of checked luggage and an additional 7 carryons.

We let the kids go for a swim, and then went to eat dinner. It was now near 9pm, and the waitress commented on how good our kids were. Since it was nearly midnight Eastern time, they were basically asleep in their chairs, too busy keeping themselves awake and upright to cause any mischief.

DAY 2

We hung around the hotel, which had a water park, until 3pm. Then we headed north to Sedona. Along the way we ate at little hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint (Mexican meal #2) which was delicious! We just hung out and watched movies that evening. I was still pretty congested and pretty tired.

DAY 3

We spent the early part of the day at Red Rock Crossing along Oak Creek, a truly beautiful and sacred spot, which we had visited many times when we lived in Arizona.

We spent the afternoon around the pool. For dinner, we asked the concierge to recommend a good Mexican restaurant (Mexican meal #4). We were all standing there in front of her, dressed and ready to head out the door of the hotel. She looked at us and said, "Somewhere that can seat all of you?" D. very politely said, "That would be preferable." We should have taken that ridiculous question as an omen.

She called a restaurant and had them reserve us a table so we headed right over. We were seated on a patio with heaters. Most of the tables around us had families with only 1 or 2 children, and we soon became aware that we were being stared at. People were literally pointing and counting heads, nudging one another to point us out to their companions. After about half of a potent margarita, this started to seem somewhat amusing. D. had to restrain himself from standing up and holding up 7 fingers to the crowd, and yelling "Yes, they're all ours!" The restaurant had a glass window that looked out on the patio and the diners inside were checking us out as well. During dinner we managed to spill 2 drinks (the kids, not the margarita soaked adults) and have a (mercifully short) toddler moment. One woman brought her little girl over to "see the baby" which gave her an opportunity to check us out more closely and ask me a few questions. By the end of the meal, we were laughing hysterically. I was the last one out, and I hurried to buckle A. into her carseat, knowing that I would be cornered. Too late, some nearby diners seized the opportunity to ask if they were all mine, tell me they couldn't do it, and bless me for it.

Although we've attracted attention in the past, it was never like this. Bizarre to have an entire restaurant full of people watching you.



DAY 4

D. took the 3 eldest children to the Grand Canyon. They hiked 4.5 miles down and back up and had a great time. I stayed at the resort with the 4 younger kids. I., who had been behaving as a true princess, complaining about the food in restaurants and refusing to eat, whining that she didn't have flipflops, refusing to sit where we told her on the airplane, etc. was perfectly happy and very helptul that day. I don't know if it was just that laying around the pool, watching TV while K. napped, and laying around the pool some more was right up her alley, or whether it was the fact that she was now the oldest child. Anyway, I'd been worried that it might be a drag of a day for me, but while it was a little boring, it was a very easy day.

DAY 5

We layed around the pool all morning, then had lunch in Sedona and drove down to the Valley of the Sun (as the Phoenix area is known to locals). We met friends for dinner at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants (Mexican meal #4). This just about caused an uprising, since the kids were tired of Mexican. Unfortunately, this restaurant featured the worst service I've ever had. We were there for an hour before we even got drinks. Since we'd been munching chips and hot salsa, we were VERY thristy. After about 45 minutes, D. went and inquired, and they said the drinks were coming right up, but it was still another 15 minutes before they materialized. The restaurant wasn't very busy, so I have no idea what the problem was. We spent that night at a Comfort Inn in Tempe, so as not to interfere with our friends' getting ready for school and work.


DAY 6

D. had to work this day, he was training with neurosurgeons at Barrows Neurological Institute in Phoenix. The kids and I went to breakfast at the Wildflower Cafe, my favorite bakery, and then the phone started ringing, girlfriends wanting to know when they could see me. Sharon, who had invited us to dinner that evening, was surprised to learn that we were in town since she had thought we would be there the following Friday. She had a very nice drinks and appetizers get together at her house that evening and other friends stopped by. We spent the next 3 nights with the H. familly, who has the most space.

DAY 7

The women hung around the house while the men took the older kids hiking up Camelback mountain. Friends came over and visited. My friend had arranged a babysitter for evening, so a dozen adults (and A.) went out to dinner. We had a lovely time, staying out late.

DAY 8

We ate breakfast at the Wildflower again, then headed out to the desert for a hike in the Superstition Mountains with some friends. We even found a geocache! It was a lovely day. Afterward, we went out for ice cream and then met more friends at the park where we all used to play when the kids were little. Our hosts made a lovely dinner for us that evening.

DAY 9

We flew home.

Girlfriends

Here I am with some of my closest friends. I miss them SO much! We met at the park where we'd often spent hours together with our kids when they were small. I'm 2nd from the left in the pink shirt with K.

Hiking in the Desert

I am the baby wearing mama with A. in the sling. We hiked the Wind Cave trail at Usury Park in the Superstition Mountains. The great thing about Arizona is that the wilderness is always nearby. This was about a 30 minute drive from where we were staying.

Top of the Canyon

Top of the Canyon, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

D. took young D., J. and L. to the Grand Canyon. They hiked down 4.5 miles and back up well before dark. I stayed at the hotel with the young set and enjoyed the sun and pool.

Playing in Oak Creek

Playing in Oak Creek, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Red rock crossing in Sedona is one of our favorite places, and this particular spot is where we always go. Known for its spiritual energy, the spot attracts a lot of New Agers. Some meditators actually asked us to tell our kids to stop throwing rocks because it was interfering with their meditation! This is a public place, but we did move downstream a little.

Oak Creek

Oak Creek, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Frolicking in the 50 degree water of Oak Creek.

D & P

D & P, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here we are, enjoying the sun. I am feeling much better!

Cool Shades

Cool Shades, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Everyone got new shades at the dollar store before we left. Here are L. and I. showing theirs off.

We're Leaving On a Jetplane

Here's the crew, waiting in the airport. The only flaw in this trip was that I got sick the day before, an awful cold or severe allergy attack--I'm not even sure which. I was pretty miserable this first day, and while the photo was being taken I was in an airport store purchasing overpriced pharmaceuticals. Unfortunately they did not carry Valium or its equivalent.

Jet Lag

We returned home very late (Eastern Standard Time) on Monday night. Discovered that you can't get a pizza in our small town after 11pm so were forced to stop at the grocery store, which thankfully stays open until midnight, to get some dinner and breakfast for Tuesday.

Although Arizona is 3 hours EARLIER than Michigan (after daylight savings time begins), so theoretically I should have felt less tired than usual on Tuesday evening, I was exhausted and in a complete fog. D. was in slightly better shape than I. The children were apparently feeling like it was 3 hours earlier, because they were extra vigorous. Sensing our weakness, like a pack of bloodhounds, they frolicked and ran amok until after 10pm. By then I was basically awake with my eyes open! LOL

A great time was had by all....more to come later.