The Girls and I

The Girls and I, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here are the girls and I on Mother's Day.

The Boys and I (minus one!)

The Boys and I (minus one!), originally uploaded by PaulaK.

This was taken later in the day on Mother's Day, unfortunately after K. was already in bed (which is why it was minus one!)

Mother's Day Brunch

Mother's Day Brunch, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

On Mother's Day I invited my mom (and dad) and my mother-in-law to go out to brunch with us, to the Common Grill in Chelsea. We all had matching corsages--(you can see mine in the photo of my daughters and I). We had a delicious meal and a lovely time.

When we got home, I took a nice long nap. D. made dinner, linguine with white clam sauce, and then the kids showered me with precious homemade gifts.

Restless

There is so much going on right now, or rather that I am waiting for and have been for about 6 months, that I am totally crazy from the "in limbo" feeling. Hopefully things will be drawing to a close soon, and we will be able to make some decisions about home, career, and family. That's why I sometimes don't post for a while--there is so much to say but much of it I can't talk about (yet). Good stuff, all of it, and I'm not complaining, but have you ever been in a situation where you are just waiting for events to unfold, and felt very impatient and restless? Uncertainty is driving me to the brink!

Facing My Demons

My kitchen is overrun with little moths. This has been a constant problem, particularly bad in recent months, so I finally decided to clean out the cabinets (again). This is a difficult task for me for 2 reasons: I have to sort through all of the old food, tossing anything moth infested, and wipe down all the shelves, which is an icky job. While doing this I also sort out old, but not moth infested food to throw away. I am somewhat obsessive-compulsive and I HATE to waste anything, so I evaluate canned and jarred goods, thinking "Well, this MIGHT still be good." Yet in reality, if I keep it I will NEVER eat it, because I always think, "I don't really know if that is good anymore." Going through the painful decision of whether or not to throw away each item is a psychologically grueling exercise for me.

This time I was able to part with some canned and dry goods that I know I brought here to Michigan with me 5 years ago, as well as some products that I am now admitting seemed like a good idea at the time, but I will NEVER eat, like the dried kelp and other ingredients I purchased when experimenting with macrobiotics.

Since I finished cleaning out the cabinets and putting moth traps in them, the number of moths has not diminished, despite the fact that there are no longer any unsealed food products of any kind available. If anything, they seem more active and spirited than ever. There are generally at least 2 flying around the kitchen at any time, and the past few days it seems they are constantly flying right at my face or into my hair.

#5 Turns 6!

T. turned 6 on Saturday, Apr. 22 (and I'm still behind!) It is a tradition in our extended family to throw a birthday party for each child and invite the extended family. This was planned for Saturday evening. On Saturday morning, she had a small party with 3 friends. It was her first friend party, and was significant because she is a slow bloomer socially, and didn't have many friends until this past year. Since her birthday fell on Earth Day, I got clay pots for the kids to paint, which we then planted a pansy in. They each had their potted flower, a spade and a watering can to take home, in lieu of those "goody bags" of absolute junk commonly distributed at parties. And the kids were so excited that they got to keep their spades and watering cans (acquired at Target before Easter for $1.00 each). I had planned that they would play Pin the Tail on the Dog (made by her big sister J) and musical chairs while we waited for the paint to dry, but it was difficult to generate interest. We did play one halfhearted game of Pin the Tail on the Dog, and then they went outside to play. We had pizza and birthday cheesecake for lunch (T's choice) and then opened gifts and that was the end. Short and sweet!

T. felt that she also wanted to have a private celebration with just her parents and siblings. Usually we do this on the actual day, and any friend or extended family parties are on the weekend, but since her birthday fell on Saturday the day was full. So we opted to have the small family celebration on Friday night. During the day on Friday she'd also celebrated her birthday at school, with cookies she brought in.

The only gift suggestion she had mentioned was that she wanted a globe. Three times we had this conversation: "You mean a globe of the earth?" "No, I mean a globe that plays music and has snow in it." "Oh." For some reason it was impossible for her harried and distracted mother to remember this, so I did ask her the same thing several more times on different days, to which she replied, "I already told you this!"

I looked at snow globes online, and saw some that were nice, but not compelling. I waited until several days before her birthday and called 3 local gift shops, none of which currently carried snow globes, although I'd seen them there in the past. Of course, it was now too late to order a snow globe online.

The other gift that I wanted to give her was a scooter. Not a small razor style scooter, but a large bicycle sized scooter with hand brakes. Years ago I had given scooters to 2 of the older kids, and I just found them in a bike shop. Once again, I called around to the NUMEROUS bike shops in my area, and not one carried scooters in stock, although many of the shops said they could order them. Panicked, I began calling shops further and further away, and found one in a shop about an hour's drive away. Thankfully, the bike shop was in a town near my mother-in-law's house, so I asked her to pick up the scooter for me. She was coming her Friday night anyway to attend D's track meet.

When I mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was also looking for a snow globe, she went to her local mall where she found 2 gift shops that carried them, and one had a huge variety and they were on sale 50% off! She bought one for me, and it was absolutely perfect! It had dogs both inside the globe and on the base, which turned while it played "Memories", and snow glitter inside. T's favorite thing is dogs. She has never liked dolls or traditional girly toys, nor does she care for cars, action figures or other "boy" toys. She already has a huge collection of stuffed animal dogs, so it was difficult to come up with new gift ideas for her.

I think she enjoyed all of her birthday celebrations, but was exhausted by the end, as was I. Being a foodie, I usually insist on only homemade birthday treats and cakes, but this time she took store bought cookies to school, and I bought the cheesecake, although I did put a yogurt and fresh fruit topping on it to make it look like a flower. She chose steak caesar salad for dinner on Friday night and I made a red velvet birthday cake. For breakfast on Saturday she requested puffed oven pancakes with fruit on top. We served hamburgers and hotdogs and potato chips for dinner (no salads or side dishes--how lame is that?) at the extended family party, followed by store bought ice cream cake.

T. herself is somewhat of an enigma. My only dark eyed child, and my only child born with a head full of hair! She is fiercely loyal and devoted to the family, and often mentions how much she loves her family. She is very sweet, extremely intelligent, and slightly immature for her age. I think this may arise from having been the baby of the family for more than 3 years. Often when challenged, disagreed with, scolded, or asked to do something she doesn't want to, she bursts into tears in an attempt to manipulate us. She is very astute about people and relationships and understands far more than she lets on. Somewhat timid, she does not enjoy rough play, being upside down, or things like that, and has yet to learn to ride a bike or to swim even a little.

She is a good playmate to her younger siblings and can be an able assistant to me when she wants to. She is generally happy and very loving. She is a person for whom still waters do run deep, and I am so curious to see who she will become!

Inside of Eagle Tavern

Inside of Eagle Tavern, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The reception dinner was served family style, by servers wearing period costumes. Although the building has modern plumbing and electricity, the tavern is lit only by hurricane lanterns on the tables and candelabra rather than electric lighting, giving it that historical feel.

Eagle Tavern

Eagle Tavern, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

The reception took place in the Eagle Tavern, a short walk down a brick lined path from the chapel.

Martha Mary Chapel

Martha Mary Chapel, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

We were married in the Martha Mary Chapel. Our wedding took place on a Sunday evening, Mother's Day. About 120 guests attended our wedding and reception.

19 Years!

On May 10 Daryl and I celebrated 19 years of marriage. They have been blissfully, blessedly happy. Of course, we have had an occasional disagreement and a few bumps in the road, but have not had any major marital woes or personal tragedies to contend with. I cannot believe how lucky I am, to have found him, my soul mate, the only man I was ever able to be truly "me" with.

We met in a co-ed student rental house in Ann Arbor at the beginning of my junior/his senior year (fall 1984). Four friends and I had signed a lease for the 6 bedroom house the previous spring knowing we needed to find a 6th roomate in order for the house to be affordable. When we moved in that fall, we hung an ad on a bulletin board at the student union, and had a series of bizarre cretins somewhat unusual people come to our door to inquire about the room for rent. We were all liberal arts students, who didn't think much of a math oriented major like engineering, but by the time Daryl came to the door, he looked terrific by comparison to some of the previous would-be roomates. I wasn't home when he came by, but the others approved him in my absence, and told me "He's an engineer, but he's OK."

When I met him, what I thought was "Wow! He's cute!" So did all of my girlfriends, one of whom dated him briefly that year. I had a serious boyfriend at the time, so Daryl and I became close friends. As the school year drew to a close in the spring, both he and my boyfriend, (they were now acquaintances through me), another engineer, both got jobs at Arthur-Andersen and began commuting to work together. After a short time on the job, Daryl was transferred to the Chicago office. He called and came to visit often, including a special trip for my 21st birthday.

In the fall of 1985, my relationship with my boyfriend was on the rocks. I was applying to graduate school and needed to take the GRE exam. The day the test was being given locally was the date of my aunt's wedding in Chicago, so I arranged to go to Chicago early and take the test there, where it was offered the day before her wedding. I had asked Daryl to be my date to her wedding, as I had been his date to a wedding several months before. Sadly, the wedding was called off about a week before it was to take place. It was too late to change the test date at that point, so I travelled to Chicago, took the test, and visited with my aunt, who was having a difficult time. I also visited Daryl one evening. We met downtown, where he lived in a highrise apartment. He took me to the top of the John Hancock building for a drink, out for a Mexican dinner, and then to a blues bar to listen to music. It was a rainy, misty evening and I was wearing a cape I'd borrowed from my aunt. Several times he put his arm around me, and I thought he was being friendly, but when he kissed me I realized that he was being more than just friendly!

I had always been attracted to Daryl, but was now in the middle of a breakup with the guy I'd been dating for the past 1 1/2 years. When I got home, he and I had "the talk" and ended our relationship. I felt sad and wanted a little time to catch my breath, but Daryl was not interested in waiting. He came to visit the very next weekend, and was soon coming home every weekend to see me. We were soon a couple, and by December he had decided to quit his job and return to graduate school in January, choosing the University of Michigan because I was still there. I graduated in May 1986, we got engaged in November 1986, and married in May 1987.

We got married at Greenfield Village, a "village" of over 100 historic buildings in Dearborn, Michigan, that have been rescued, moved and restored by Henry Ford and his descendants. It is open to the public, and there are homes, businesses, shops, schools and churches, furnished and staffed by tour guides wearing period costumes who inform, demonstrate and educate the public about life in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Stay at home gang

Stay at home gang, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

K., T. and A. in the morning, curled up together on a chair.

Off they Come!

Off they Come!, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Underwear on My Head

Underwear on My Head, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Most of my children have gone through a phase where they thought underwear on their head was the funniest thing, and here is A., donning the underwear.

17 months

Pizza Lover, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

At 17 months A. has become a full fledged "person" with many likes and dislikes, which she doesn't hesitate to share with us. Although she doesn't talk much, except to say "Mama!" and one of her sisters' names, she is adept at pointing, grunting, squealing, gesturing and taking us by the hand and showing us--so adept that it is rare when we can't tell what it is she wants.

As you can see, she loves pizza. She also loves oranges--I'd call them her favorite food.

She has unfortunately developed a tactic of banging her forehead on the floor if she doesn't get her way. We have been ignoring this behavior as much as possible and it seems to be lessening.

She's also learned to hit and to provoke. She likes to follow poor K. around and hit him for no reason.

She enjoys baby dolls, holding, "singing" and rocking them.

We are both still enjoying our nursing relationship, and she still wakes once or twice at night to nurse, something she enjoys more than I do!

She likes rough play, being turned upside down, bounced and tickled wildly, etc. Her favorite "game" is peekaboo.

She is cute and funny most of the time, and we all adore her.

Paula and A

Paula and A, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

My baby and I.

J's 12th bday

J's 12th bday, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

J. turned 12 in March (I realize I'm somewhat behind!) There is so much to say about her. She is both my sweetest, easiest child to deal with and my most difficult. It is fair to say that she is intense and feels things deeply. Most days I can't live without her, but many days it is difficult to live with her.

She is a talented writer, creative artist, and perfectionist, as well as a slightly obsessive-compulsive, very disorganized perfectionist. This means that all of her projects are masterpieces, but that they are barely completed on time, a huge mess is created and sleep is lost. Daryl says she has inherited both his and my worst characteristics!

Sensitive and loyal, she is adored by everyone. She is also a worrier and insomniac.

She believes in love and family. She makes sure the table is set nicely, lights candles, calls us all to dinner and makes people put away any reading material so that we can have a "family dinner." Although we jokingly call her the "dinner police" we all secretly enjoy it.

She can be both my most helpful and my most demanding, often at the same time, or within the same hour.

Life wouldn't be complete without her!