Becoming a Sideshow

Last week we were invited to a party which occurred last night. When the woman invited D., she said the kids were welcome also, and then said, "Since we aren't having too many people, we could invite you." D. said, "Don't worry, we'll leave the kids in the car." She was oblivious to having insulted us, but her husband looked mortified at that point.

But we went anyway, and once we got there it was apparent that many of the other guests had been told about our family and our big Sprinter van, since we fielded many questions and comments from people, none of whom we knew. D. said we were the "zoo animals." LOL

We have never been the "poster children" for large families before. Thankfully, our children behaved perfectly, including the 18 month old and the 6 week old. We stayed till 10pm without a single whine or tear.

Actually, we have received many compliments this holiday season from people we socialized with on what nice children we have and how well behaved they are. I am both proud and grateful for this.

Our First Cache

We went geocaching for the first time yesterday. It was at a park very close to home. Geocaching in the winter seemed like a good idea if the weather was warm, which it was, but there was still a lot of snow on the ground, making it extremely challenging.

We found it! It was a microcache, in a film cannister.

We would not have found it without the clue, however, and had to call home to ask D. to look up the clue for us. We need to learn more about using the GPS for the future.

The 3 Days of Christmas

Now that it's over I'm feeling in much more of a holiday spirit. LOL

Christmas Eve was spent at my parents with my sister and her family. Everyone was in a relaxed mood, (notable for my family) and we had a nice time. We atea midday meal -- the traditional kielbasa dinner--and exchanged gifts. When we arrived home we had a small prayer service--we read the bible readings for Christmas Eve and each of us said a prayer while lighting a candle. We did this in lieu of attending mass. At our church you need to arrive at least an hour early to get a seat at any of the Christmas services, and with bitter cold weather, a newborn and a very active toddler we decided not to do that, and had our own servide instead. It was very nice. Then we made a fire and had cheese, crackers and fruit in front of it, another family tradition. The kids were bed by 10pm and we commenced wrapping. I wasn't able to do too much since A. wanted to nurse the entire time, but we still finished and were in bed by midnight. D scared me when he let out a LOUD HOHOHO in the hall in case anyone was listening.

On Christmas day we woke to the sound of the kids in the kitchen (around 7:30am) making coffee for us. The family rule is that they can't get up until it it light out, thankfully fairly late in (8am) our neck of the woods. We got up, and I made banana bread real quickly, which was baking while the kids unwrapped gifts. It was our most extravagant year ever, and the kids enjoyed what they received, which included an electronic keyboard and a GPS unit so we can begin geocaching.

Around 11am D and I both began to get headaches, and we soon discovered that the kids had inadvertently made us decaf coffee! LOL So we had to make more and start over.

We had a beef rib roast, garlic mashed potatoes and a caesar salad for dinner, followed by D's "famous" (famous because he told me he made a great apple pie for the first 15 years of our marriage but never made one until then--2 years ago) homemade apple pie for dessert, and then we watched "A Christmas Story".

On Dec. 26 we had Christmas with D's family, and we stayed fairly late, arriving home at 10:30pm.

We have done a lot of socializing these holidays. On Tuesday we had old friends (a family of 4) come and spend the night, and Wednesday evening another friend came for dinner. Thursday we were invited to a party.

Is it over yet?

That sums up my feelings about this Christmas season!!

Saturday was Ds bday, and it was also his extended family's Christmas celebration. It took all morning to get us ready and out the door on time, and we didn't get home until around 7pm, so not much of a birthday celebration happened. I had hoped to get a birthday cake to take as our dish to pass, but ran out of time. D went to the store to get some appetizers as our dish to pass and I had called the local bakery, which had some cakes available, so I told him to go there instead and get himself a cake, which he didn't. I don't blame him, I wouldn't have either. Luckily someone brought a cake for dessert and the hosts had candles, so we sang to him there.

I gave him a pair of concert tickets to a blues artist, Eric Bibb, that he really likes, and I have already arranged babysitting and confirmed that they will allow me to bring an infant. I also gave him a book and a magazine subscription. None of this seemed to excite him.

Today, the kids are done with school, and although we have snow, it is too cold to force them to go outside. D is out of town until tomorrow night, Young D is ill with a stomach bug that the rest of us are sure to get, and the grandparents that promised to help have backed out because THEY are too busy. LOL Actually, my dear MIL is coming tomorrow to visit and we are taking the kids to the movies and dinner. She was supposed to come tonight and have dinner and spend the night and tomorrow.

Last night my parents made a brief appearance to drop off D's birthday gift. I had previously asked them to stay for dinner to help me out, but they said they were too busy. After they had been there about 30 minutes, D had to leave for the airport and they were ready to go home (they live about an hour away, and staying less time than it takes to drive somewhere is something I never really understand). I desperately needed groceries and didn't want to take A out in the frigid weather, and don't trust the older siblings to watch her for very long yet, so I asked my parents to stay while I ran to the store, telling them it would take me about 30 minutes. I didn't get out of the house right away, because I had to put K down for his nap before I left, and then it took me about 45 minutes to spend $252, so it was a little over an hour before they left. My dad was so impatient and visibly irritated with me when I returned--it made me feel bad. Also, my 7yo dd told me that he had been pacing and looking out the window and saying "She's not here yet!" My parents often offer to help but are rarely actually available, unless it is really urgent, like I am about to give birth!

So we are spending the day making as big of a mess as possible, an activity which masquerades as making cookies and paper snowflakes. And listening to Raffi's Christmas music over and over as loud as I can stand. I am feeling better than last week but still somewhat scroogelike.

The Clan: Christmas Card 2004

IMG_2230, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

Here we are in all our glory: D, L, T, I, J holding K, Paula holding A, and Daryl

Birth Announcement

IMG_2217, originally uploaded by PaulaK.

This is the photo I used for her birth announcement, which I picked up today, and plan to enclose in the Christmas cards.

Holiday Events and Irritations

It's been a busy few weeks. I (foolishly or kindly, depending on what your perspective is) agreed to let D. invite his students/coworkers over last weekend for a holiday party. Kind of a lot considering we had a 3 week old baby. I hired someone to clean, and we did potluck. We bought some meat to grill and 2 already prepared side dishes. D. did the shopping and most of the cleanup.

We put our tree up, and deviated from tradition by not cutting out own, but buying one from a lot. I stayed home with A. as it was raining (and I was dying for a few minutes alone--it didn't take them nearly long enough! lol). D. said they scared away the nice men from the Lions Club who approached them as they were getting out of the van. He had 2 crying children (one thought she was being accidentally left in the van), 2 pouting children (they were mad that we weren't cutting our own tree), and 1 child complaining loudly "These trees are PUNY!" Only the oldest, D., was behaving normally. I had no idea we'd created such strong traditions. The next morning D helped them put the lights on, and then we put ornaments on. Normally I unwrap, put hooks on and hand out ornaments, but I was nursing A., so I told them to go ahead. The idea that we were doing it differently was not well received, and neither was the fact that D. left for the store at that point to go buy party supplies. He doesn't normally help with ornaments anyway, but he is usually on the premises. Once A. was done eating, I handed out ornaments as always.

The party went well--delicious food (we asked people to bring ethnic or holiday favorites) the house looked festive and our kids were really well behaved.

I ended up with a sore spot/plugged duct after the party anyway, even though I was still taking antibiotics from the previous bout of mastitis, but at least it didn't progress into full blown mastitis again.

Midweek D invited an out of town colleague to dinner at our house. I made a nice pasta and we had a good time. He is a nice man that enjoys our kids. His children are grown and his wife had early onset Alzheimer's and is now in an advanced stage of the illness, totally noncommunicative and requiring constant care, living in a nursing home, so I think it's nice for him to spend some time with a family.

Yesterday I spent most of the day ordering last minute gifts, shopping for teacher presents and taking J shopping for her friends. Last night was my book club meeting. I left at 7pm with 2 simple requests: Please have one of the kids sprinkle sidewalk salt on the path to the car since it hasn't been shoveled and is slippery (it is a small slope) and I will be carrying a baby and please bring in the 3 packages that arrived so that the dogs don't chew them up. I also instructed L to take out a garbage bag from the diaper pail and I was supposed to be completing her dinner chore of loading the dishwasher (she'd already been asked about 5 times).

When I arrived home several hours later this is the scene that greeted me: Darkness (although I always turn the lights on for D he never remembers to turn them on for me), the path is not salted or shoveled, the packages are still on the porch, the garbage bag of diapers is still in the house but has been ripped up by our 2 dogs and dirty ripped open half eaten diapers are all over the carpet, dishes aren't done.

I was very upset. Apparently D went to bed before the older kids and the dogs did the damage after he went to bed. The older kids put the dogs outside but didn't clean up the mess. I couldn't clean the mess because A was very fussy and needed to lay down and nurse to sleep. When I awoke this morning, although D and J and young D had been up for 45 minutes and eaten breakfast in the room with the mess, they hadn't cleaned it. Since J had missed the bus (2nd day in a row) and was waiting for D to shower and take her to school on his way to work, I made her clean it up. I woke up L and I to help her and to give I time to finish the dishes. When K awoke this morning I discovered he'd been put to bed with marker all over his hands, feet and face, not washed off. He'd also made some marks on the wood floor.

Are you picking up on my feeling that I do a lot for others but get nothing in return? Spent most of today feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow is D's extended family holiday gathering. We are supposed to bring a dish to pass so I told him to think of something, buy it and cook it or get a bag of chips, but I'm not doing it. I don't even really feel like going--I'll probably end up with mastitis again.

Mastitis

I am always very prone to plugged milk ducts and mastitis in the first 2 months of a new baby's life, and this time is unfortunately no exception. Early last week I had a sore spot on the left breast, but it wasn't too bad and cleared right up with heat and frequent nursing. But Saturday night was a different story. I got a sore spot on the right breast--really the whole underside, and it was excruciating, and by bedtime I felt feverish and achy. It got worse during the night, and I slept terribly as a result. Luckily I was able to convince the doctor to prescribe antibiotics over the phone. It is slowly getting better. I just felt very tired and run down today. Possible causes are: overdoing it (taking kids Christmas shopping, doing a lot of walking), using sling and having it press on breast (I didn't think it was, but it could have been), and the fact that I couldn't get A to nurse very well on that side before we left, and then she slept through most of the shopping, and when I next nursed her I offered the other side. It really is irritating, whatever the cause. As a La Leche League Leader I know a lot about this, but still can't prevent it for myself.

The Mouse Died...

in one of our couch cushions!! EWWWW!

Saturday morning I smelled a familiar bad smell upstairs in the rec room. By Sat. afternoon the odor was overpowering, and I informed D that it needed to be found and dealt with. He went up there and began hunting, and narrowed it to a section of our leather sectional couch, but wasn't sure where in the section it was. He wanted me to help him by smelling the couch and telling him where the smell was the strongest, but I declined. I found the last dead rodent (inside a hand puppet in the toy box) while in the throes of morning sickness, so I felt justified in making him take a turn at this fun game alone. He did find it and disposed of it. The smell lingered for hours, even with the window open.

What's funny is, J's friend K spent the night Friday, and not only was there no odor in that room then, but the dead mouse was in the section of couch she slept on right near where her head was!! Maybe she killed it by laying on it?

In past years we have had many mice, but none this year except this one. I purchased these electronic devices that emit a high pitched sound that is supposed to drive away both mice and spiders. The spiders seem impervious, but considering that in previous years we killed about a dozen mice in Oct./Nov. (when it got cold and they entered the house), the devices seem to work.

A Bad Mother Shows Her Christmas Spirit

On Friday one daughter had a friend over afterschool. When the others arrived home, they wanted friends over too. It was now almost 5pm and I didn't feel up for it, so I said no. This resulted in a lot of grumbling and dissatisfaction. So I told them we could get out a box of Christmas decorations, which appeased them. FIrst I went to the school to pick up D from basketball practice, forgetting that another mother was picking him up and taking him with her son to a trombone lesson to practice a duet for solo and ensemble festival. Not only did I look silly, but I'd also forgotten to send money with him to pay for the lesson, and of course my checkbook was at home. I rushed home, called the trombone teacher and arranged to mail him a check.

Then I got out 2 Christmas boxes. This immediately hypes the kids up. I had asked them to empty the book cabinet before we got started, where books are stashed until no more will fit and they pour out onto the floor when you open the door, but they didn't do it. Soon there was Christmas music playing loudly and stuff all over the floor, not being put up. The kids were reading Christmas books that were in the box, crumpled newspaper is strewn everywhere (used to wrap fragile items). When I'd had enough, I insisted they stop what they were doing, put away the book cabinet books and help me clean up the mess, putting empty Christmas boxes back in basement. I, who is 7 and alternately goes by the title "The Princess" or "Miss Entitled," totally ignored me. I came over and took the book from her hand and began telling her what to do. At this point she shrieked in my face that she'd do it when she was finished with her book. And then I snapped, yelling back "No Christmas for you, then!" She got upset, as did her 4yo sister who asked "Are we really not going to have Christmas?" I reassured her, and apologized to I, but felt like Scrooge.

My only defense is that I have a 2 week old baby, and D was not yet home with the pizza he was supposed to pick up, so I was hungry and tired as well.