As I alluded to in my last post, K. has a problem. He absolutely refuses to have a BM in the toilet. He has done it 2-3 times in his life, but not recently. We have been working at this with him for the past 18 months. We have tried offering every reward and enforcing every punishment, including spanking and other things I don't believe in, that you can imagine. We have gone through months of ignoring it with the idea that he is seeking attention. We have tried pullups and underwear. He has been examined by the pediatrician, who didn't find anything physically wrong.
At this point, when he soils himself he is instructed to change and wipe himself as best he can, and then he takes a shower to clean off anything he missed. This was the suggestion of the child development clinic at the local hospital. We are not currently doing any discipline with him, as this was causing him to hold it.
He usually sneaks off to do the deed, and then informs us. He has told me that it comes out more easily if he is walking around. He has also asked me, "how do you push your poop out?" I can't figure out if he really doesn't know what to do or not.
Later this month he has an appointment with an encopresis clinic. Encopresis is involuntary soiling in children caused by holding it and/or constipation. Even if a child goes regularly, he can still have hard impacted stool in his colon.
I am feeling very frustrated for several reasons. K's 2 year old sister, who emulates him in every way possible, is beginning to potty train. She has been peeing in the potty, but when she poops, she hides, and the past few days she when she has a BM, she takes off her diaper and attempts to clean herself! This results in her smearing it all over herself! I had really hoped that they would both be potty trained by November when I am due to have a baby. At this rate, I will be changing 3 kids, one of them WAY too big for this! I had also hoped to send them both to preschool, which requires that they be potty trained.
Has anyone out there had an experience like this? People keep telling me to be patient and it will eventually "happen" but I am not seeing any signs of progress. He is just becoming more proficient at cleaning himself up. I'd appreciate any advice.
Not Having Fun
3 months ago