All of Us

All of Us

Friday, March 23, 2007

Not Pregnant Anymore

It's been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Last week I had another beta--1464 which was excellent. This week on Tuesday I saw OB endocrine specialists since my regular dr. discovered I had high blood sugar and was hypothyroid. The OB ordered an early u/s. I was so excited! I literally ran down the hall to the room. All we saw was an empty sac. I was informed that the pregnancy was not viable and I could wait to miscarry or schedule a d&c. I was devastated.

The next day I spoke with the reproductive endocrinologist I had been seeing, who said that they had my dates wrong on the ultrasound and that it was too early to see anything. She told me to come to their office next week for another ultrasound. She was shocked that they would recommend terminating to someone who was not even 6 weeks pregnant and without offering a followup ultrasound. Somewhat reassured, I calmed myself as much as possible.

However, last night when getting ready for bed, I discovered that I was bleeding. So I'm not pregnant any more. It was REALLY fun being pregnant for those 2 short weeks.

And why does today's headline have to read, "Baby Found Dead Was Alive at Birth." While I am longing for a baby, other people are throwing theirs away!

4 comments:

krystof said...

I found your blog from googling "large family AND leather sectional couch." I found the post about the dead mouse in 2004. YUCK! I actually gave up my blog reading for Lent, but had to see if you were still posting so I can add you to my link of favorites. As the mother of 4 under 4, and 4 others that were miscarried, I can understand your frustration and sadness. I am so sorry that you lost your baby. (I hate that phrase...you did not LOSE it....but I don't know how else to say it). Please know that you and your entire family will be in my prayers. I look forward to coming back after Easter and reading some more. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed now as the mother of 4 young ones, so I am hoping to glean some inspiration from reading your stories.

God Bless.

Jera

Jody said...

Dang, dang, dang it all. I am so so sorry. Miscarriage is so painful. Many hugs to you today....and may I recommend the book "I'll Hold You In Heaven". I read it after my second m/c and it was very helpful. It quotes lots of scripture, and is very Christ centered.

And you know you can e-mail if you would like to talk to someone that has been through what you are experiencing now. I can e-mail you my phone #.

Love, Jody

julie said...

Paula,

I am praying for a miracle for you and your family. Don't give up hope, there is definitely still a chance.

Blessings,
Julie

truth said...

Just wanted to remind you that I'm here praying for you. There are a lot of us out here that care deeply about you and what you are going through.

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Mother to 10 fabulous kids, ages 4 to 21 years! Married for 26 years to my best friend.

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