All of Us

All of Us

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Large Family Comments

The last large family topic posted was the comments that we receive about our family size.

Here's my take on it:

Negative Remarks

Of course, I get all of the same remarks as other parents of large families:

Don't you know how that happens?

Better you than me?

Are you "done"?

Incredulous Remarks

How do you do it?

You must be so patient!

I can barely handle my 2 (or 1, or 3 or ....)--I can't imagine 7!

Your grocery bill must be enormous!

Nice Remarks

You have a beautiful family. (This remark is often made by an older person, who then shares with me that they raised a large family, and how special it was/is.)

Your children are so well-behaved!

It doesn't even seem like there are 7 of them!

I am one of 7 (or 6 or 8 or....) and it was SO much fun! (I get this one a LOT, and only once have I had a young woman share that she did NOT like being part of a large family. I find this remark very affirming, that adults who were once children in a large family will take the time to stop and tell me how great it was.)

Overall, I get a lot of incredulous looks, but probably as many or more nice remarks as negative ones. Daryl, who works in a university setting, gets a lot of remarks, because academics in general have very few children, so he is truly an anomaly. Yet he is one of the most "productive" (pun intended!) in his field!


truth said...

It still amazes me that people are so free to comment on families with lots of kids. I wonder how often someone with two hears comments about their family size. I hope you continue to hear lots of nice things.

Israelcousins said...

I, too, get the (few and far between) positive comments on my larger family from older people. But I have found that it is almost always followed by their expressing regret in not having more than one or two kids which I think reflects loneliness.

Keep up the excellent mothering and thanks for your blog. It is my dose of reinforcement and I appreciate it!

Jody said...

I don't even enjoy telling anyone that I am pregnant anymore because it is usual met with an "Oh my" or from my own mother "Oh no!! What could you be thinking". They steal my joy, so I just don't tell anyone except my online friends. Only 3 of my friends here in town knew about my recent m/c. I didn't tell most of my family for a couple of months.

The thing that breaks my heart the most is knowing that my Dad would have loved to see me have many children, but he died before he even saw Cory, his first grandchild.

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Mother to 10 fabulous kids, ages 4 to 21 years! Married for 26 years to my best friend.


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